You and Everything After (Falling #2)(71)

All of the drama has gotten in the way of easy though. I miss easy. I miss that moment—her on my lap at the Halloween party, before Chandra set off a row of dominoes that tipped over every ray of sunshine in Cass’s life, replacing it with a cloud. I don’t know how to make her sun shine through again. The power doesn’t rest with me, and the small places where it does, I just mess it up.

“Hey, thanks for inviting Rowe to Thanksgiving by the way. That didn’t hurt Cass’s feelings or anything,” I say, throwing my rolled up dirty socks at my brother.

“First of all, f*ck you very much. Second of all, you like Rowe. She needed a place to go, and I want her with me. If it’s such a big deal, then suck it up and invite Cass,” he says, throwing my dirty laundry back in my lap.

I’d love to invite Cass. I almost did. But Kelly’s been calling me every night lately. Jared’s been disappearing more often. He told her he’s taking a class, something for his sales position. I promised Kelly I’d get to the bottom of it for her when I come home, and having Cass there…that complicates things.

I flop back on my bed and sigh, loudly enough for Nate to hear and chuckle at my helplessness. I’m helpless—utterly lost on the relationship roadmap; I’m off the grid.

“Is this why Tyson Preeter doesn’t do girlfriends?” Nate jokes, absolutely loving every second of my stress. “What is it you always say? Relationships are full of…fussy fuss?”

“Oh, ha ha ha. You just love throwing that saying back in my face. Yes, I didn’t do girlfriends. And now I do. And look—right smack dab in the middle of a pile of fussy fuss. Fussy fuss all over the goddamned place! It’s making me nuts!” I say, my arms stretched above my head, holding the invisible weight of everything.

“Yeah…but you love it,” Nate says, and I pause, not looking at him, not willing to answer aloud, but also unable to stop the smile that takes over my face because yeah, I love it. And I love her, too. I’m screwed.





Cass


It really hit me when I watched Rowe pack. She’s going home with Nate for the holiday. I’m going home to a house full of people I don’t want to talk to, and riding on the plane next to a sister I want to choke. I’ll be in California for almost a full week, but I’d so much rather stay here, in my dorm room, alone.

“How about I just put you in my suitcase,” Rowe jokes, zipping her small bag closed.

I pull my knees in close to my body, tucking my neck in, and trying to make myself small. “What do you think? Will I fit?” I ask, knowing I won’t. I don’t fit lots of places.

“Hmmmm, it might be a tight squeeze. I bet if I borrowed one of Paige’s bags I could get you in,” she says. I know it’s only a joke, but it still makes my stomach roll thinking about the plane ride I’m going to have to endure.

“Ugh, Paige,” I let out, surprising myself.

“Trouble in twinland lately, huh?” Rowe says, sitting next to me and pulling her knees in close. We both roll back like balls. I joked with her that this was my version of Pilates once, and ever since then, it’s become our thing.

“I’m sort of mad at Paige,” I admit, still holding my knees in to my chest, rolling to the side, knocking into Rowe. She nudges me upright with her leg, and we pull ourselves up to sitting, just to roll backward again.

“I noticed I haven’t seen her around. I thought it was maybe just because she has a new boyfriend,” Rowe says.

“That’s part of it. When she’s into a guy, everything else disappears. But honestly, I couldn’t care less right now. I kind of welcome the excuse not to have to talk to her,” I say, my eyes focusing on a small star sticker above my bed, left by the person who stayed in this room before me, or maybe it was left well before then. I plan on leaving it behind when I leave in the spring—someone else deserves to stare at it when they think too.

“I’m sorry,” Rowe says, rolling into me lightly. I grab her arm once and squeeze, pulling myself back up to sitting, and I let my legs dangle off the end of the bed.

“Thanks. It’ll work itself out. She just…she broke a promise. But it’ll work out,” I say, more to convince myself than Rowe.



I was alone for an hour after Rowe took off. Ty left his long-sleeved striped shirt with me, or rather, I took it from his closet, and he didn’t make me give it back. I put it on, deciding to use it to give me strength on my plane ride.

Paige calls and tells me to meet her at the curb, so we can share our cab. By the time I meet her out front with my bag, she’s already on the phone with someone else. She’s talking about the winter formal her sorority is throwing, and she keeps saying how much stress planning this all is going to be.

Stress. This is stressful for my sister.

The longer her conversation goes, the more I feel the need to laugh, until finally I give in and let a few chuckles out. She continues to talk while we get into the cab, snapping her fingers and pointing to the driver so he can take her bag. We’re only minutes away from the airport when she finally says goodbye, along with some stupid inside joke about rhinoceroses and hippos to whomever she’s talking to. She’s still laughing to herself, amused by the conversation, when I finally explode.

“You are so rude,” I say.