You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(80)

He wasn’t going to shy away. She didn’t need him to respect some distance that served neither one of them. She needed his strength. “What happened at Sanctum scared you.”

“I’m fine, Jesse,” she murmured. “I’m a fully trained operative. I’ve been in bad situations before.”

She was going to fight him every inch of the way. “You weren’t scared for yourself. You were scared for me, baby.”

The tension in her body was no longer slight. She went totally stiff and started to move away from him. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Then just listen.” He knew she wasn’t ready to admit anything and that was all right. “I didn’t die. I’m not going to. I’m here and alive, and I’m going to take care of you. I know you don’t believe me, but I’ll prove it.”

She shook her head. “When this is over, I’m leaving. I have a life to get back to.”

“Your life is with me now. If you still want to walk away in a week, then I’ll accept it.” He was pretty sure that was a lie, but it was one she needed right now. “But for now, I won’t pretend I’m not planning a life with you at the center of it. You’re the sun in my sky.”

“I can’t be.”

“You already are. There’s nothing for you to do.” He pushed her hair to the side and let his lips find the soft skin of her neck. This was where he’d wanted to be for days. He’d needed to be here with her, even if she was crying and afraid. She would be that without him. She would be that way for the rest of her life if he didn’t fight for her. He couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone.

Oddly, he could be alone because he would think of her. He would allow himself to dream about her, to share her with the man she’d loved. But if he didn’t break through, she would utterly pine away.

“Reach over and lean on the bench in front of you.” She only cried the once and then during discipline. She needed to cry and he could give that to her.

Her immediate obedience was proof to him that he was doing the right thing. It was the first move she’d made that was eager. Her ass was in the air almost before he finished the command. She wanted this. Needed this.

“You disobeyed me in a dangerous situation.”

“I also helped you.” Her ass wiggled a little, an invitation to play.

He thought about how fast Ace had moved, his gun in hand. He’d turned toward her, ready to shoot, and Jesse had known he could lose her.

Maybe she wasn’t the only one who had bad dreams about that day. “He could have killed you. My number one job in life is protecting you. You made me fail and I demand satisfaction. It’s a count of thirty.”

She groaned and he watched as she straightened her spine, preparing for his hand.

He gave her a moment, a moment where warm water caressed her and the possibility of what was to come hung over her. One moment where she held her breath to see if he could handle her. A Dom’s job wasn’t simply about punishment. It was about making that punishment a moment of bliss.

His hand arced, making contact with her soft flesh and crashing through the shower with an audible smack.

Her whole body shook, but she held her position. He gave her four more slaps in rapid-fire succession. “That’s five. You stay still or it will be more.”

“I thought I had thirty,” she complained.

He smacked her again, loving how she groaned. “You’ll get them all, but when and how I say. Now stay still.”

He grabbed the lube and was deeply grateful they weren’t doing this in his tiny shower. He’d never spent much money on his place. It was small, clean, and in a good part of town, but Phoebe would need more. She would need a house and a yard and a place to call a home.

A real home. One where he belonged, where he was wanted. One where she was.

And it would have to have a nice-sized shower because he liked how her skin turned a pretty pink between the hot water and the smacks. He definitely liked how her ass looked.

Her legs were spread perfectly, her back flat so he could see her *. It was a pretty pink, too. He dribbled lube right on it, watching as a shiver went up her spine. “What are you doing, Jesse?”

“What I’ve wanted to do for a really long time. I told you I would get inside you any way I could.” He rimmed her petite hole, already thinking about just how tight and hot she would be when he finally shoved his cock up her ass.

She clenched the minute his fingers touched her there.

He wasn’t about to have that. Five more quick smacks. “That’s what I’m saving them for. Don’t try to keep me out. It belongs to me.”

“Couldn’t you pick another part of my body to own?”

“Oh, I own the whole damn thing. Every sweet pink part and ripe little morsel is mine. I claim every inch of you, Phoebe.”

“When we’re playing.” She said the words in a hesitant whisper, as though she was just trying to remind herself of her version of the truth.

“If that makes you feel better, you can say it.” He wasn’t going to push her into forever. He couldn’t or he might lose her. “But for now, there’s no question that this belongs to me.”

She groaned as he pressed his fingers to her *. He didn’t need to ask the question if she’d done this before. It was obvious. She’d had one lover and they’d been very young. They’d thought sex was sacred and it was, but they obviously hadn’t learned that it could be dirty and nasty and fun, too. Phoebe needed to see that.