You Only Love Twice (Masters and Mercenaries #8)(18)

“No, baby. I was going to wait for their naps.” And that was her boss.

Not her boss. God, it had gotten so jumbled in her head.

“Hey, are you all right?” Jesse walked through the open door and her heart almost stopped.

And it nearly broke because the way she felt about him was a betrayal. She was Jamie’s wife. She could still feel him at night…except lately she thought about him less and less. It had been two years since he’d died and the world kept moving and she was the only one who could stop it. She had to do that for him.

She composed herself. “I’m fine. My legs hurt though. Could you get the zip ties off me?”

“Who do you work for?”

“I work for Ian Taggart, though I suspect he’s going to fire me.”

“Phoebe, I need to know who you work for.” Jesse’s voice was harder than she’d ever heard before. His jaw had tightened, and when he stood in front of her she could have sworn he grew a couple of inches.

“Phoebe Graham. Accountant. 1266745.” She held the bottle, though Aidan’s hands came up over hers. She wasn’t sure how she could ever thank Li and Avery for these last few moments of sweetness. When this was done and she was back at whatever house she would live in from now on, she wouldn’t be the same. If Ten allowed her, she would go back to China and bury herself there. She wouldn’t make friends. She wouldn’t watch babies. She would do her work and wait to join her husband again.

She wouldn’t think about Jesse. She wouldn’t remember what it felt like the first time his hand had found hers and for a minute she’d felt safe again.

“Do you work for Tennessee Smith?”

Damn, but she always knew he was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. She was fairly certain she didn’t react to it at all. “Who is that? Are you talking about that guy who comes in from time to time? The one with the Southern accent? Why would I work for him?”

“Avery, would you please take the baby?” Jesse asked.

Avery stepped up, giving Phoebe a little smile. “Sorry. Li and I should probably move the kiddos. I think Grace is going forward with the party after Charlotte stops yelling at Ian. We’re pretty sure the cake won’t last so this shower is happening. If you think about it, it’s really kind of fitting. Shower and an interrogation. It welcomes Cooper to the family properly.”

Li had Carys and Tristan in either arm. He stopped in front of Jesse. “You need some backup?”

Jesse’s face was perfectly stony as he shook his head. He didn’t even look Li’s way, his eyes steady on her.

Pissed. This was what Jesse Murdoch looked like when he was pissed. She’d never seen this side of him. He was usually so casual, so tender and polite with her. When she’d first met him she’d spent months studying him and trying to figure out who the hell he was. She’d envisioned him as hardened and cynical, as though she would be able to see his darkness immediately.

She saw a little of it now. She was shocked to find out it didn’t have the effect on her she thought it would have.

Jesse was always sweet. When he looked at her with such softness on his face, she couldn’t help but think about Jamie and the way he’d been.

She wasn’t thinking about Jamie now. Her body tightened at the way Jesse leaned over, his eyes hard and that sensual mouth of his a flat line. He put both his hands on the table and squared his shoulders.

“What is your mission?”

A simple enough question and she wished she could answer him, but that answer led back to the one question she had to ignore. “To keep McKay-Taggart’s books in tip-top shape.”

“Do you think I can’t handle you, sweetheart?” The words rolled from his mouth, dark and deep and rich.

Was this the man who spent his nights at Sanctum? She knew what happened there. There was no question in her mind when she dismissed him for the night, he went to Sanctum, and she’d come to loathe the place though she’d never been inside. All she could see was Jesse finding the affection and comfort she couldn’t provide. She’d closed her eyes more than once and been able to see him making love to another woman, but she’d never really seen him like this. She’d expected he was just as sweet when he made love as he was with her.

What if he was dirty?

“Do you think if you put me off enough I’ll walk away and let you be? The time for that is over. It was over the minute you pointed that rifle at my chest. I know I’ve been following you around like a pathetic moron for months, but that’s over, too. It’s going to be my way all the way from here on out.”

Her heart was thumping in her chest, her body warming. Arousal. At least she remembered what to call it. She’d felt it with him before, but Jamie always hovered between them. When Jesse would reach for her, she would see Jamie’s sweet face and back away. Jesse wasn’t reaching for her now. He was clearly drawing battle lines, and something about it called to her. A primal energy started to run through her system.

“Your way?” Her voice deepened, her body prepping for battle. This was what she needed. She needed him to see the real her. She needed to test herself against him and find out who was going to come out on top.

“Yes. Mine. I don’t suspect you’ll like my way so it would be easier to give me what I want and we can go our separate ways.”