You Had Me At Christmas: A Holiday Anthology(129)

His hand on her skin felt conspicuous, and she tried to ignore it. But the feeling spread, and soon her whole body felt awkward and strange. Not hers.

Finally they stopped in a quiet corner near a pantry door. “I can’t believe you came,” he said, smiling down at her.

“I guess it is a little crazy.”

“The best kind of crazy,” he said. “What’s in the box?”

“Something really crazy. Honestly, I’m not sure what I was thinking—”

“Is it for me?”

“Yes. I mean, I guess it was for the party. But it’s clearly not that kind of party.”

He broke the tape on the sides of the box and lifted it.

Stupid. Such a stupid idea. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

“This isn’t for me!” He laughed, that fond teasing laugh she’d forgotten about. “It’s for you.”

“No! It’s—”

“Awesome,” he said. “I haven’t had a yule log in years. I’ll hide it behind the milk in the fridge so no one will find it.”

Someone walked past with a full cup of beer from the keg in the corner, and Dean grabbed it from the guy and gave it to her.

“Dean?” the guy yelled.

“There’s plenty, Mo. Be gone.”

Mo was gone. Trina took a sip of beer. And then another.

Dean went to hide the cake in the fridge and came right back.

“How have you been?” Dean asked, his dark eyes bright. “How is law school?”

“Good. Busy. It’s hard, you know. Sometimes harder than I thought. And sometimes harder than I think I can handle, but I just keep going.”

“You’re not thinking about quitting, are you?”

She laughed. “No, I never think about quitting law school. Instead I’ve quit sleeping and eating.”

“I thought you said you had a boyfriend,” Dean said. “How do you have time for him?”

“He’s pre-med and busier than I am.”

“Did you bring him?” Dean asked, like he couldn’t wait to meet Trevor. And he meant it, totally genuine.

“Yes!” she said, standing on her tiptoes, trying to see over the sea of heads. “He’s around here somewhere.” She didn’t see Trevor’s blond curls anywhere and stepped out a little from the small corner so he had a better chance of finding them. “How are you doing?”

“Same. I mean, not law-school busy, but I graduated—”

“With honors. Your mom told me. I don’t know why you skip over that part.”

“Right, well.” He was blushing. She couldn’t see it in the dark, but she knew. “I graduated and now I’m working a few jobs in the area.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They grinned at each other like fools, and Trina honestly didn’t understand where this tidal wave of affection came from.

“What about your girlfriend?” she asked.

“We broke up,” he said. “She was not cool with my busy schedule.”

She winced.

“It’s tough,” he said. “But there’s a lot of competition for good jobs. Operations are shrinking in this part of the state, and a lot of guys that have graduated end up working part time in some office somewhere.”

“Oh you’d die!” she said.

“Exactly. She did not understand that it was life and death, and she split.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that.”

“I will survive.” He flashed that easygoing grin and glanced out at the crowd.

“I’m sure someone here will ease your pain,” she said with a laugh.

From nowhere there was a pang in her chest. Not jealousy, not really.

She had Trevor, after all. And Trevor was perfect.

But Trevor never looked so happy to see me. Trevor barely looked up from his laptop when I walked in his door.

Stop, she thought. That’s not fair.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Dean said. She looked up and met his eyes, and for a second it was like the party was gone. The years were gone.

And that pang in her chest got worse.

This is ridiculous, she thought. It’s just the reaction to seeing him again. Memories of some happy times.

Some bleak awful times, too. But they did not seem to matter in this hot party.

He leaned in closer and his breath touched her neck, the side of her cheek, and despite the heat the hair stood up on her arms. “I think about you every year at Christmas.”

“You mean you worry about me every year at Christmas.”

“That too,” he said.

His smile was gone and all that remained were those memories of theirs. And something different. Something sharp.

“There you are,” Trevor said, pushing his way through the crowd into their corner. He smiled at her and then up at Dean. “This is some kind of party, man,” he said.

“I know,” Dean laughed. “I had no idea so many people would be free on Christmas Eve. I’m Dean.” He and Trevor shook hands and made a little small talk. Trina handed Trevor her beer.

“I’ll get another one,” she said. She left Trevor and Dean, because she was in a weird place in her head and she didn’t want to compare the two. Because there was no comparing the two.