Wrong for You (Before You #3)(41)
She opened her mouth to respond, but he covered her mouth with his hand. “Don’t interrupt me. I have more to say.” Even though his voice was curt and direct, a smile curled the corner of his lips.
She nodded and he dropped his hand from her mouth.
“My life is crazy and there are so many things about me you don’t know. I have a lot of baggage—too much for a nice girl like you from a small town with a nice, caring family and a bright future. I’m everything that you should stay away from. I’m wrong for you. You’ve got to know that, and if you don’t, then believe me when I say you don’t want to get involved with me more than you already are.”
Her eyes blinked rapidly, her lips twitched, and then she couldn’t stop herself. She laughed, a big laugh that started in her belly and exploded from her mouth. “What kind of melodramatic bullshit is that? Is that the best explanation you can come up with to push me away? You told me you needed me before sleeping with me and then kicked me out the following morning with some pathetic excuse.” She jumped out of her seat, feeling the anger she buried in too many drinks the previous day erupting out of her. “I didn’t expect anything from you. I get that you’re leaving in two weeks and I will likely never see you again after you leave Montana and go back to your fancy job in LA, but I don’t know…” She tugged at the ends of her hair, not sure what she wanted to say. It sounded stupid to say that she thought they had some sort of connection or that she thought he cared about her.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her flush against his body before he snaked his arms around her waist. At that instant, his dark blue eyes were infinite, like the depths of the Pacific Ocean and little creases marred the smooth lines of his broad forehead. “You don’t get it. I look at you and I see the perfect woman, and it kills me to say it, but I can’t have you. I’ll mess you up just like I have everyone who has ever been a part of my life and you’ll end up hating me. I don’t want that.”
“Maybe I like the way you mess me up. I’m not perfect, nobody is. Why don’t you let me in and see where this goes?” As she looked at his beautiful face—the little scar marring his eyebrow, his slightly crooked nose, his pouty lower lip, and the black tattoos peeking out of the top of his shirt—she knew she didn’t want him to walk away from her yet. She wanted to spend more time with him.
“Little Violet.” He whispered her name like a benediction as his fingertips skated down the sides of her face to her neck before resting on the tops of her shoulders. “There is nothing I want more, but—”
It was her turn to cup her hand over his lips. “No buts. Let’s have fun together and see where it goes for the next few weeks. We both know it has a definite expiration date, so there won’t be any hurt feelings or crazy expectations.”
He nipped at the palm of her hand and she snatched her hand back. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I know I’ll end up hurting you again,” he said, his eyes burning up her body like nothing she’d ever felt before from a mere look. God, this man made her weak. Where was her self-respect? If he didn’t want anything to do with her, why did she keep pushing him to give her something?
“Friends, then. Can we still be friends?”
“Friends,” he said, almost as if he were testing the sound of the idea. He leaned his forehead against hers. She wanted to kiss him, but she held back. His hands moved from her shoulders down her arms and rested on her hips. She shivered, just a slight tremor that reminded her how much her body craved him. “I don’t know. I can’t forget the taste of your lips or the feel of you sprawled out underneath me, and none of that is beneficial to a healthy friendship. No, I don’t think it will work.”
She blinked a few times. “Then just be with me…for now,” she said as she pressed her lips against his, her eyes open and pleading with him. She didn’t care if she sounded pathetic and unusually forward. The time she’d have with him was fleeting, precious even, and she didn’t want to waste one minute of it because she may never get more time with a man like Alec. “You know you want to explore this.”
His hands slipped under her shirt, his fingertips making small circles on the bare skin of her stomach and just like that her hangover disappeared. In its place, a small fever started under his fingertips, snaking out, making her skin feel too tight and her breath too fast and she wanted to drown in his deep blue eyes. “I do, but f*ck, Violet, you deserve so much more. I tried to get rid of you yesterday morning, not because I don’t like you, because I do, but because you were already inching under my skin.” He released a dark, muted laugh. “I need to end this and say goodbye, but now I don’t think I can.”
“Don’t give me what you think I deserve, give me what I want. The rest will sort itself out.”
Tipping his head up toward the ceiling, he closed his eyes, his breath ragged. “You really want this, Little Violet, because there’s no going back.”
She cupped his face with her hands. “Yes,” she answered, lifting up onto the tips of her bare toes. As she brushed her lips across his, his eyes were still closed and he didn’t make any move to kiss her back. His lips remained frozen and mulish against hers.
Just when she was beginning to experience the sting of rejection hollowing out her heart, his eyes opened and he cradled her head his hands. “All right, Little Violet, let’s try this. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you or make dumb decisions, but I want to see where this goes even if it only means two weeks,” he said, tracing the peaks and valleys of her lips with his roughened fingertip.