Written in the Scars(45)

“I need you to,” she whispers, holding on to my wrist.

Her words and actions are at odds and it rips me apart.

“Why?” I ask. “Elin, something’s going on with you and I want to know what it is.”

“You know what it is,” she says, but it’s not what she means. I can see the other reason, something darker, right behind her green eyes.

“Yet you’re asking me to leave you again.”

Her gaze hits the floor. I lift her chin so she’s looking at me.

“Tell me what’s wrong. What are you hiding in there?”

She drags in a long, deep breath that shakes her chest. Her eyes grow wide, her hand clamping on my wrist. “I . . .”

My phone rings in my pocket, and the sound shakes her out of the moment.

“You should get that,” she says, clearing her throat. She releases my wrist and steps away from my touch.

Growling, I pull the offender from my pocket and see Jiggs’ name. “It’s your brother.”

“Go,” she says, grabbing her bag off the floor beside the table. Her voice is clear now, the moment of truth far behind us. “I need to get to this anyway.”

“You sure you don’t wanna talk?”

With the bag on her shoulder, she turns on her heel. A look of resolution is stretched across her face. “I’m sure.”

It’s clear I’m not going to get anywhere now, just dig myself in a deeper hole. I head for the door but stop beside her.

Not giving her a chance to object, I slide her against me and press a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you. This bullshit is gonna stop soon, one way or the other. My patience is running thin. So figure out how you’re gonna deal when I come home for good because it’s happening.”

And then I leave, the door squealing behind me.





ELIN


“Hello?” I squint against the late afternoon sun and toggle the phone against my ear.

“Where have you been?”

“Hang on,” I mumble, getting the phone situated before I pull out onto the highway. “Okay. That’s better. How are you, Linds?”

“Oh, I’m good. Just sitting over here, wondering why my best friend hasn’t answered my calls in two freaking days. Just peachy.”

Rolling my eyes, I smile. “I’m sorry. I just have a lot going on and need some space to think.”

“Space? From me? Sorry, my friend. You don’t get that.”

I laugh, squeezing my car in between two trucks and barreling down the road towards my house.

It’s been a long day full of addition and the letters S and T. Of course, half of the kids in the class that had to bring something that started with a T brought a tie. And every time I said “tie,” I was thinking “Ty,” and my heart hurt a little. Or a lot. Definitely more than was fair.

“Things are just weird,” I tell her. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“Jiggs said that Ty’s been coming around to see you.”

“I’ve seen him a couple of times,” I admit.

She sighs. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I don’t know. One minute I think one thing and the next . . .”

“Did he tell you where he went? Did he explain things?”

“Yeah.”

She pauses and waits for me to continue. I don’t. As much as I love her, Ty’s problems are his to tell. I won’t betray that, not even for her.

“So . . .” she leads.

“So he explained it and I understand.”

“What’s the hold-up then?” she asks.

I flip my turn signal on and make a left onto my road. “I just want to make sure it’s the right thing to do. I love him and I know he loves me. But, really, our problems aren’t resolved. We are just kind of in limbo right this second.”

“So you just don’t want to jump right back into it?”

“Exactly.”

She takes a deep breath. “Did you tell him about the baby?”

My chest squeezes. “No, I haven’t. It’s gonna break his heart and it’s going to be devastating to me to tell him. And, really, I’m not sure if it matters.”

“Of course it f*cking matters!” she says. “I will always take your side in an argument publicly, but if you don’t tell him about this, and soon, you are wrong, Elin.”

I fill my lungs with air and blow it out slowly. This is something I’ve been pondering, something I know is true. I need to tell him. I need to let him know the truth. He deserves it. I just can’t bring myself to bring it up.

“Tell me about the baby,” I say, changing the subject. “How do you feel?”

“Gosh, I feel pretty good, actually,” she nearly sings. “I’ve been a little sick, but nothing I can complain about. I go to the doctor again in two weeks and I think we’ll be able to hear the heartbeat!”

I swallow past a lump in my throat. “I’d like to go with you. I mean, if you don’t mind.”

“I’d love that, Elin.”

“I’m pulling into the house,” I say as I hook a right onto the driveway. “But let’s get together this weekend and have lunch. Sound good?”