Witness: See Series (Volume 1)(5)
“Why would you need to protect her from me?”
Oh crap – I just let him walk me into that one. My eyes raced back and forth, looking for the perfect remark.
“She is just as messed up as I am – we protect each other – from everything.”
“I’m not dangerous.”
“Debatable” – damn - it - I - did - it - again! Walked right into a trap. I had to end this conversation.
“Why?” was his instant response
“Tired – going to sleep.”
“Sleep tight sleeping beauty.”
I rolled my eyes and sat up quickly. Texting back and forth with him always left me anxious and wide awake.
I looked down at my phone; it was almost seven now. I scrolled through my texts to see if Draven had ever texted me to tell me when he got in last night, but I couldn’t find one from him at all. A sick feeling settled in the pit of my stomach…I was losing him…after everything: all of the waiting for us to be old enough to be together all the time, to run our own lives, after what Bianca did to me…I was still losing him…I can’t let that happen.
I was tired of this silent game we were playing, from hiding from my problems. I was going to tell him everything – why I was scared, that I’d been talking to Britain, that he was showing an interest in Madison now. I knew that couldn’t be good, not with the way she was acting lately. I stood and stretched and decided to get dressed and go to Draven’s...I was going to end this fight before it tore us apart.
Chapter Two
Madison was still sleeping soundly, so, quietly, I pulled on my favorite jeans, grabbed my white hoodie, and covered my dark purple tank top, then wrote a note telling her where I was going.
Kara was walking out of her room when I landed on the bottom stair. She looked over me once, then headed to the kitchen. I knew she was still mad at me for fighting with her yesterday. My mom had been in Boston for the last few days, and the tension between me and Kara had been building…they were both on Draven’s side – they both wanted me to run, and that hurt; it made me feel like I wasn’t wanted or wouldn’t be missed.
Kara had always been a positive person, a strong mother figure – but that was the last thing I wanted now. Misery loves company, and she wasn’t fitting the profile.
Every time I tried to explain to her why I was so uptight or what I was worried about, she would just tell me to focus on how I felt about Draven and let everything else fall into place – meaning run like hell with Draven at my side. That was foolish advice; I wasn’t a story she could just write, a character that she could weave together and push to a perfect ending. I was a real person, and as far as I was concerned she needed to focus on her own marriage; I mean seriously, just fly over there and see him, practice what you preach.
I followed her into the kitchen and grabbed my keys from the hook by the back door.
“I’m going to Draven’s – I don’t know when I’m coming back.”
Kara was pouring water into the coffee pot. She glanced at me with sleepy eyes and halfway smiled. I rolled my eyes and opened the back door. I knew she thought that she was getting through to me, but I don’t think there’s anyone who could ever understand how terrified I was.
I held my breath as I stepped out the back door, fighting the anxiety that usually stopped me at this point. I knew the comforting sound of my father’s guitar was about to vanish and the whispers would begin. I found a sound in my mind – one that was tainted with screaming guitars – and held on to it as I stepped forward.
It was dreary and cool out; I guess fall was really here now. If I had my days right, my eighteenth birthday was this weekend, on the 20th of October. It was a day I’d counted down to for years…one that would pass without any real change in my lifestyle - at least not the change I’d hoped for, one that would give me and Draven a life of peace. It really is sad to have what you want dangling in front of your face…but you’re just too scared to reach out and fight for it.
The garage was almost completely dark. Instantly, I could hear my name echoing in the shadows that lingered along the driveway just outside the garage. I focused on the music that was echoing in my thoughts and felt the imaginary glass wall of protection rise.
My last car was totaled, but with the insurance money my mother bought me another bug – it looked just like my old one: dark blue and brand new. It barely had two hundred miles on it. When I unlocked my car door, I found a rose and a CD in the seat with a note that read: ‘It’s nearly four and your lights are dim – I didn’t want to wake you. This is to show you that you’re always on my mind.’
I read Draven’s words again, then raised the note so I could smell the addicting aroma of his cologne. I missed him so much; I couldn’t believe I’d let this silent fight last this long. I slid into my seat and turned the key so I could slide in his track. As the music began to play, I heard a slow, haunting guitar. The chords were commanding and echoed a deep love that could only be understood by the ones that bathed in that emotion. There were no words, just music. That’s how we wrote: music first, then we’d let the lyrics come to life. My eyes glassed over as the music surrounded me. We were a doomed couple…lost in a twisted battle to find our purpose and still hold on to one another.