Wicked Heart (Starcrossed #3)(59)

The ever-present cameras move closer as she grabs my arm to stop me. “Wait. Elissa. I know I haven’t asked you officially, but . . . you’re going to come to my wedding, right?”

A lump forms in my throat. “Angel, you barely know me.”

“And I love you like a sister. If I hadn’t already locked in my bridesmaids, I’d be hitting you up to be in the bridal party. But I really want you there. You and Josh. Say you’ll come.”

She looks at me with such hope, I have to look away. “Of course I’ll come.” I’d rather stab myself in both eyes than watch another woman marry Liam, but I can’t tell her that. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I hurry out of the salon and down the stairs to the street. When the cool night air hits my cheeks, I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

Okay, just chill. Seriously, this is silly. It was a fantasy, nothing more. Come back to reality and calm the hell down.

The champagne is making me shaky and emotional. Or maybe it’s the situation.

If I were a better person, I’d be happy that someone as sweet as Angel is getting her happy-ever-after with Liam, even if I’m not.

But I’m not a good person. And selfish me hates the idea.





TWELVE


TACTICAL RETREAT


When Liam opens the door, he takes one look at me and frowns.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.” I walk unsteadily past him, and dump my bag on the couch. I thought the walk over here would sober me up, but I actually feel more drunk. “Ready to work?”

“Liss, have you been drinking?”

I flip through the script and frown when nothing makes sense. Then I realize I’m holding it upside down. “A bit. There was champagne. It forced itself on me.” I’m trying not to slur but my tongue isn’t cooperating. The room spins, and I lean against the couch for support. “Why is your apartment moving?”

He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, then comes back, takes my hand, and leads me to the couch. I don’t want to sit, but he eases me down. When I try to close my eyes, he touches my face and makes me look at him instead. “What happened with Angel?”

Even out of focus he’s handsome. “I love your face,” I say, and touch my fingers clumsily to his lips. “I shouldn’t, but I do. So beautiful.”

He grabs my hand and holds it in both of his. “You’re beautiful, too. But right now, I want to hear about you and Angel.”

I shrug. “Angel was fantastic. You’re engaged to a sweetheart, Liam. You’re going to lose it when you see her in her dress. I picked a good one.”

“You picked her wedding dress?”

I nod. “I was gonna make her wear the frog, because I’m a bitch. But I couldn’t. She’s so nice. And she trusts me. But she shouldn’t, because I’m not a good person. God, the Secret Garden was hideous. Oh, and also? There’s no way in hell I’m going to your wedding. No matter how much she wants me there.”

“Liss, what are you talking about?”

“Did you know she likes it when other women lust after you? It’s true. She wanted me to admit I thought you were hot, and I didn’t want to, but she made me. And then when I started, I couldn’t stop. I said all these things. Really wrong things. True things, but stuff I shouldn’t say out loud. And then I started yelling about how much I want to fuck you, and they recorded it all. Everything. All my dumb words. I’m such an idiot.”

“Wait, what?”

“And then, just when I thought everything was okay, Angel made me try on a dress. And it was beautiful, and I looked beautiful in it, and . . . and then nothing was okay.” I close my eyes. The memory of it makes my throat tighten and my chest hurt. I feel sick.

He gently grabs my arms and turns me to face him. I open my eyes to his handsome, concerned face. “Liss, what happened?”

I shake my head, and take in a shallow breath. “I’d never thought about it before, you know? Not the dress or the ever after, or any of it. Never had reason to. But then tonight . . .”

“Tonight?”

I look up at him, and I know he sees how wet my eyes are, but I can’t help it. “Tonight, I saw myself in that dress, and it hit me. You’re getting married. You. To someone else.” I swallow and look at his chest. “I mean, I knew you were, but I didn’t know, you know? And now I do, and it sucks.”

“Liss . . .”

I shake my head as tears slide down my cheeks. “And I feel so stupid because there’s no reason for me to get so upset about this. I have no right. You’re not mine. You’ve never been mine. We had one night together a million years ago, and I should be over it by now.”

“Liss, come on. We were never just about one night. You know that.”

“No, I don’t. Because I only got you for that tiny amount of time and now she gets you forever. And there’s no way that’s fair. It’s just not.”

“Jesus, sweetheart.” Then his hands are on me. Pulling me. Wrapping around me. And I’m pressed into his chest and surrounded by his smell, and I beg the tears to stop but they don’t listen.

Goddammit.

I hate this.

Love.