Where Silence Gathers (Some Quiet Place #2)(84)
For what seems like an eternity we both stand there. A moth dares to flutter into the frozen space. “I should have known,” I say bleakly. “My dad would never have done that to me.”
Finally, he tries to explain. “Alex, I—”
“You know what I keep forgetting about that day? When you let me climb the tree?” I demand. To the others, it probably seems odd that this is what I think of. But that memory meant so much to me. Every time I needed strength or an affirmation that I wasn’t utterly broken, I thought of it. Remembered that there are some people in the world who don’t think it’s impossible to touch the sky. This time, I don’t wait for Revenge to respond. “I fell.”
Wailing, I collapse to my knees. Forgiveness is beside me in an instant. He still doesn’t touch me—he won’t—but I lower the gun anyway. A deputy bursts into the tunnel and spots us. He calls to the others.
It’s over. It’s finally over.
TWENTY-EIGHT
YOU ARE NOW LEAVING FRANKLIN.
I look at the sign, unblinking, until it rushes past and disappears behind us. Elvis sings in the background while I search for something else to focus on. A hawk lands on the power line high above. The bird flaps its wings as though it’s about to lose balance. And when that disappears, my eyes seek out other simple things and identify them. Tree. Sign. Mailbox.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Missy asks me. I turn and catch her worrying her bottom lip. “We would understand if you need more time, Alex. Really. After everything.”
After everything. There’s so much that it’s nearly impossible to select one incident and define it as the one that caused the most damage. My mind goes back to that night a week ago—the night in the mines, the aftermath of killing Travis and letting Nate Foster live. Of discovering that it was my best friend who’d hurt me the most.
Moments after the men found us, Nate Foster saved me from having to come up with any explanations for why he was still tied up and why there was a gun at his feet. “She’s hysterical,” he blurted. “A man left me here, and later I heard voices and shots. This girl found me and tried to help, but she didn’t want to put down the gun, and she couldn’t untie me with one hand. Then she heard you guys and dropped it.”
Why he chose to save me, I don’t know. Maybe he’d made some promises of his own. Or maybe he’s not the monster I made him to be. Maybe he’s just human, with light and darkness like the rest of us.
When I told Frederick about Dr. Stern’s part in what happened, he sent out an APB. But Dr. Stern hadn’t run; he was at his house, cooking dinner as if it were every other night. During the initial questioning about his involvement, he denied everything. He didn’t know that Angus, hiding behind a tree, had seen him leaving the mines and was able to describe both him and his car. He faces kidnapping charges now, along with attempted murder. Especially in light of the information Christine and Nora Masterson gave about their own experiences with him.
All I can really think about, though, is the fact I haven’t seen Revenge or Forgiveness since that night.
“I want to do this,” I say to Missy. For once, it’s nothing but truth. She nods and concentrates on the road, still fretting. It will take some time, but eventually she’ll see that things have changed yet again. This time for the good. And it’s a change of my choosing.
An hour later we’re here. Missy offers to walk me in. I smile and shake my head, trying not to cringe when I get out of the car and my injured rib protests. She watches me all the way to the doors, and I know she’ll be right there waiting for me when I’m done.
“My name is Alexandra Tate. I have an appointment,” I say to the receptionist at the front desk. With a kind light in her eyes, she directs me to an open doorway at my back. I go in only after a brief hesitation.
“You can shut that,” the man says. I do. Then I sit down without any convincing.
His office is cheerful. The walls are yellow, and a picture of a rainbow hangs on the wall. Under the rainbow it says in cursive lettering, YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR OWN DESTINY. Dr. Goodwin is just sitting there watching me, his hands folded. He has white hair and a layer of fat under his chin. He seems entirely normal, like someone you’d see sitting in a coffee shop reading a newspaper. “Hi, Alex.” He smiles. “Why are you here today?”
I have no control over my hands, and they twist in my lap until they look malformed, a pile of skin and fingers. It feels like talking will make me shatter into a million pieces. There are already so many cracks that I’m not sure I can take another one in the delicate glass that forms me. But that’s not true. My bruises are fading and my ribs are healing. Here I am, alive, when I’ve faced death so many times. It’s not because of fate or what my family wanted. It’s because of what I wanted … even if I didn’t know it.
My eyes meet Dr. Goodwin’s, and I’m not glass anymore. I’m steel. “I made a choice.”
When we pull up in front of the apartment, Revenge is waiting. And he’s not alone. Seeing this, my heart pounds harder and Disbelief hovers in the backseat.
My aunt twists the key and climbs out. She doesn’t see Revenge’s visible companion, since the railing conceals them. She just starts for the stairs, then realizes I’m not following. “Are you okay?” Worry appears, rolling his eyes.