When the Heart Falls(139)

He hesitates, but then puts his wet hat on his wet head and takes both of my hands.

I lean back, letting his body keep me from falling, and pull us in small circles, spinning us both. He’s trusting me, but still holding back, not quite committed to our venture. We start slow, spinning in circles like children, then move faster and faster, until my hair is flying in the wind and the rain becomes a part of our dance.

"We're gonna fall." Cade smiles as he says it, not as a warning, not at all. He’s having fun, finally letting go and giving in to the moment. And if we fall, we fall. Life continues its dance.

The world blurs around me, everything washing away, everything but Cade. He’s clear, focused, the center of my vision. I’m with him and he’s with me and we’re happy, happy and free.

When the dizziness takes over, when falling seems inevitable, I slow us down until we stop. The world is still spinning, but I am pressed up against Cade, his arms around me, our faces so close together as the rain kisses us. “Want to try the abbey again?” I ask.

"Later.” He frees an arm from around me and plucks a stray piece of wet hair out of my face. "A shower and bed sounds better right now."

Was there a double entendre in there? If I was writing this scene, there would be.

Before I can reply, he kisses me again, recapturing the passion lost with the wind. His mouth is warm, lips firm as he explores mine.

I'm breathless when it ends and anxious to get to that shower and bed he mentioned. If he does have more than sleeping in mind, I think I'm ready despite my fears. It's time to stop letting what happened with Mr. Asshat keep me from love and intimacy, and if anyone's worth making that leap with, it's Cade. Adrenaline surging through me at my decision, giddy with kisses, I pull out of his arms. "Race you back to the hotel."

He grips my hand. "You don't want to run in the rain. You get wetter that way."

"Impossible. You get out of the rain faster if you run, so you stay drier."

He shakes his head like he knows everything, but his know-it-all attitude is part of his charm. "No. When you run, the rain hits you from the top and the front, because you're running into it. You get wetter. Mythbusters proved it."

“My dad loves that show, but I’ve only seen a few episodes. Not the rain one, obviously. Doesn’t matter, we’re already as soaked as possible." I hold out my dripping hair as evidence. "Besides, you wouldn't be able to beat me anyway."

"Oh really?" He lets go of my hand and starts walking toward the hotel. "Let's race. Remember, no running."

He's already ahead of me, so I walk faster. "This doesn’t make us any drier, and besides, it’s not fair. You’re walking way too fast."

He speeds up. "I didn't say you couldn't speed walk."

I speed up too, ignoring the twinge in my ankle from twisting it earlier. "Wait. Wouldn't this get us wetter just like running? You know, assuming we weren’t already drenched."

"Yeah.” He grins and winks at me. “But it's more fun this way."

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I really can’t believe it. I’m speed walking. In a storm. With my sexy cowboy. Across an island. And I’m loving it. We’re neck and neck as we reach our finish line—the door to the hotel. I smack my hand against the wood just before his lands next to mine. Wiggling my butt, I dance the dance of victory, gloating despite the fact I’m pretty sure Cade slowed down at the end so I could catch up.

Cade laughs at my antics. “I totally won that.”

"No you didn't."

"A tie then?"

"You wish." Without waiting, I speed walk up to our room, snagging the shower before him. We’re both dripping wet and laughing as Cade leans in to kiss me. "Hurry.”

My witty comeback dies on my lips, or rather, at the feel of his lips on mine. I tear myself away from him and lock myself in the bathroom, peeling off layers of wet clothes.

The hot water thaws me, making me realize how very cold I was as pins and needles dance painfully on my skin. As I rub soap over my body, the discomfort fading to pleasure, I think of Cade—his smile, his touch, his laugh. The day started out bad but ended with joy and happiness. Our race showed me something about this man I love. He didn’t push to win, to beat me. He didn’t lag behind either. He stayed beside me through it all.

That’s the kind of man I want to be with. The kind of man I could give myself to without fear.

It still surprises me, how I could be with Cade and the only pounding in my heart is from excitement, not anxiety. His kisses make my legs weak, but not out of terror. I had nearly convinced myself that Rodney had broken me, that I’d never be whole or complete and would never be able to give my body to a man without those memories destroying me, but Cade changed that. Being with Cade has shown me that I can flirt and kiss and fantasize without fear.

When the water turns cold, I step out and wrap myself in a plush white towel. I didn’t bring any clean, dry clothes in with me, I realize, as the outfit I’d been wearing drips from the towel rack.

I should be nervous. Shy. Coy.

Instead, I feel bold. Nothing has to happen. But something could, if the moment is right. Either way, I need clothes.

Cade is sitting on the bed facing away from me when I walk in. He’s lit the fire and a few candles, and the shadows of flames dance on his skin. He’s dried off and wearing a pair of clean jeans, but no shirt, and he’s holding his hat.