When the Heart Falls(104)

"God, Jenifer, you're vulgar. He's not anyone's man meat." I unpack my clothes, filling my small closet, set my laptop and adapter on the desk at the foot of my bed, and check my email on the computer.

I click on a reply from the last agent I queried.



I'm sorry, but we are unable to represent your book at this time.



Not even a personal rejection. Just a form letter. I move it over to my folder titled "Agents who hate me."

Le sigh.

I grab my journal and vow not to let the email ruin my first night in Paris. I want to write, to capture all of my first impressions of Paris before they wash out of me.

Jenifer looks up from her bed as she flips through Cosmopolitan magazine. "How's your book going?"

"Mr. Posthumus hated it, but I'm getting a second opinion. It still needs a rewrite, though. Or two. Or a hundred." I sink onto my bed and open my journal.

She looks up from her magazine. "Maybe I can help you."

That makes me laugh.

"Hey. Don't be an Ice Queen. I can help. What's your book about?" Jenifer turns onto her stomach, kicking her high heels up and down. How does she wear those 24/7?

"It's a love story." I finish the doodle in my journal, cradling my left hand on my lap as I write. "You know, boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back."

"Cool. What else happens?"

"I'm not really sure yet. I still need to plan the rewrite."

"Come on. You must have some idea."

I don't like sharing, but once Jenifer starts asking, she never stops. "Well, this girl goes on a vacation, and she meets this foreign guy. He's different from other guys. Special. And he makes her feel special."

"How do they meet?"

"Not sure yet." I rip out the doodle and throw it in the trash. I try to write something, but my mind is as blank as the page. "Honestly, whenever I get to the part where they meet, I get writer's block."

She jumps up. "Oh my God. Isn't that like a horrible disease?"

"No, it's not a horrible disease. It just means I'm stuck."

"Oh, okay then. What do you think of my new lipstick?" She smacks her bright pink lips together and puckers like a parody of a lipstick model.

"It's good."

Jenifer smiles. She's not the brightest, but she loves to talk about herself. Which means less talking about me. Which means I'm happy.

She falls back on to her bed, returning to her magazine. "I don't think it's that hard. Just, remember when you were in love."

I pretend to be writing again. "Sure."

"Who'd you like again?"

"Um… " Don't blush. Don't blush.

She sits up and points her finger at me. "O.M.G. You've never been in love."

I stare at my journal, ignoring her.

“What about that guy you crushed on when we were kids? Your neighbor? The one who moved away? Didn't I see you talking to him at the airport? What was his name?”

I grind my teeth. “Rodney.”

“Right, him. He's hot. Weren’t you in love with him?”

I put my journal away in my backpack. "That wasn’t love. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to focus on my book."

"No. You are not getting off that easy, Ice Queen. If you're not going to hook up with the hot cowboy, then we need to find you a boyfriend pronto." She crosses the room and grabs my good hand, pulling me from the bed to twirl around like a child. "It's perfect. We'll find you a hot, sexy French guy, and the two of you will make sweet amour together."

"I'm not here to make sweet amour to anyone. Besides, that doesn't even make sense." I try to pull my hand away and notice the dark purple spots around Jenifer's wrists. "Oh my God, what happened?"

She clutches her hands to her chest. "Nothing."

"Was it that guy you were dating? Xander?"

"No. No. It was… " She turns away from me and wipes her eyes. "I was getting ready to leave, but he wanted to do it again."

"So he grabbed you?"

"No. He just held me down while we f*cked, you know?"

"Did you tell him you didn't want to?"

Her voice stammers, like a child apologizing for sneaking candy. "Yeah, but I say that stuff sometimes. It turns them on. And I don't mean it. He just didn't know I was being serious this time. It's not his fault."

I grab her shoulder from behind. "Jenifer, you can't keep hooking up with guys you barely know."

"This time was an accident. I'll be more serious. I'll make sure they know when to stop." She turns back to me and smiles. I can tell she thinks she has it all figured out. The conversation is over.

Tired, emotionally fractured from the highs and lows of the day, and still in pain, I toss my journal aside and collapse on my bed with a sigh.

Jenifer walks to the door. "I have to use the bathroom, be right back, roomie."

Her enthusiasm is draining, but I raise my hand and point to the small stack of toilet paper squares we each have on our dressers. "Don't forget to take some with you. Remember, the bathrooms don't come equipped with any T.P."