Wardrobe Malfunction(80)

He looks beautiful. Tired but beautiful. My heart actually starts to ache from his nearness. My hands itch to touch him.

“What are you doing here?” he says in a low, hard voice.

I take a strengthening breath in. “I need to talk to you.”

“I already told you back in Vegas that I heard all I needed to. Shouldn’t you be in New York right now? I think you owe your husband a bigger explanation than you do with me. You did promise to honor him and not screw around behind his back.”

“I’ve already spoken to Nick. And I wasn’t screwing around behind his back.”

“You’re married! And you were screwing me! Most people would call that cheating, Charly. Decent people at least.”

Okay, so that hurt. But it’s nothing I don’t deserve.

“You don’t know everything.” I take a step forward.

He takes one back. “And I don’t want to. We’re done here.”

He turns to walk away from me.

“We’re nowhere near done!” I yell. “I came all the way here, and you will listen to what I have to tell you!”

“The hell I will!” He turns back to me. “I don’t have to listen to anything you have to say! You lied to me! Jesus! You even told me about Nick, that he was your gay roommate, and all along, he was your fucking husband! How fucking warped is your mind?”

“Nick is gay! And he is my roommate! He’s my best friend and my family! And he’s Canadian! He came here on a student visa, and when he graduated, he couldn’t get residency because he didn’t have a permanent job. He was looking at deportation, so I came up with the idea that we get married, so he could stay in the country because he was all I had in the world, and I didn’t want to lose him!” I break off, panting.

Vaughn is just standing there, staring at me, saying nothing.

“I wanted to tell you,” I say in a softer voice. “I was going to tell you when we got back to Vegas because I realized that I wanted…you. All of you. And I knew I couldn’t have you without you knowing the truth. But the press beat me to it, and I’m so sorry for that, Vaughn. You don’t know how sorry I am.” I press my hand to my chest, making my way off the porch and onto the drive, so there are only a few feet left between us.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I couldn’t tell you in the beginning because we were just sleeping together, and what I did, marrying Nick…I broke the law. If the authorities found out, then I would face jail, and Nick would be deported.”

“So, why are you telling me now? I could go to the police. Tell them. Have Nick deported.”

I swallow down. “Because you have a right to know the truth. The actual truth. You deserve to know. And I trust you. But, if you need to tell the authorities, then I’ll face that, whatever happens. But Nick…he has no one back in Canada. His family threw him out when he came out to them. His whole life, his career, is in New York.” My throat is starting to burn, my eyes stinging with tears. “Punish me for hurting you. But not him. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

He sighs and scrubs his hands over his face. “Okay,” he says, dropping his hands.

“Okay?”

“Okay. You’ve told me. I won’t say anything to anyone.”

“Thank you,” I breathe.

“But you and I are done.”

And my heart shatters into a million pieces.

“I admire what you did for your friend. Even though it’s illegal, it was a selfless thing to do. But you lied to me, Charly. You lied for months. You looked me in the eye day after day and didn’t tell me. I don’t trust you anymore.” He rubs his hands over his head. “And you humiliated me, and I have been humiliated enough this year to last me a fucking lifetime.”

He doesn’t want me anymore.

“You…you said you loved me…that you’re in love with me.” The words physically hurt me.

He looks away. “I don’t trust you anymore. And, without that, we have nothing.”

And there it is.

I’m never going to see him again. Except that I will see his face everywhere, in magazines and on-screen.

It’s going to be so hard to be reminded that I had him and I lost him, and I only have myself to blame.

I’ll never get to be close to him again. Never kiss him or hold him or make love to him.

A ball of pain forms in my chest and ruptures. I’ve never felt anything like it.

I press a hand to my chest, expecting to see blood there.

But there’s nothing.

Then, something wet and hot runs down my cheek, hitting my lip.

I touch a finger to it. Pulling it away, I see a tear sitting on the tip of it.

I’m crying.

I swallow past the aching, burning pain I feel. “Vaughn.”

He looks up at me.

“I love you. I’m not saying that to try and win you back. I know that I had my chance, and I ruined it. But I couldn’t leave without telling you.” I brush the falling tears away with the back of my hand.

Forcing myself to move, I go back up the porch and get my case.

It’s time to go.

I walk toward him, not taking my eyes from him. He’s not looking at me. His eyes are on the ground.

I will him to look at me, but he doesn’t.