Waking Gods (Themis Files #2)(70)

—I wasn’t sure. I thought she might be. She looked like … like I imagined my mother would.

—How did you know the people who raised you in Puerto Rico weren’t your real parents?

—They were my real parents!

—I’m sorry. Your biological parents.

—My mother was Puerto Rican. My father was from Belize. I’m … superwhite. But I didn’t know. When I was seven, I broke my best friend’s arm for saying bad things about my mother. It wasn’t just her. All the kids, they kept saying my mom was sleeping around. I even believed them for a while. My parents explained it to me after I sent my friend to the hospital. I didn’t understand. I’d seen pictures of my mom pregnant, pictures of my birth. I didn’t know you could make babies that way.

— …

—What are you looking at?

—You have her eyes. Kara’s.

— …

—I’m sorry Eva. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.

—Can I ask you something?

—Anything.

—What do you want?

—I just came to see how you were doing.

—I mean what do you want with me? You’re not my “real” dad. You don’t have to take care of me just because you gave a sample of your— —Eva, I know you’re upset. You have every right to be. You lost your parents. Then you met Kara, and she died too, but— —I still have one left.

—One what?

—A mother. I still have one left.

—One mother? Who?

—Alyssa.

—Wh … Alyssa’s not your mother. Who told you that?

—She made me, didn’t she?

—I don’t believe this. Who told you that?

—She did!

—When did you speak to Alyssa?

—She came to see me while you were away. She said she made me in a lab, so that I could pilot Themis if one of you died. She said you tried to stop her.

—Let me get this straight. Alyssa came to see you and she told you that she made you?

—Yes.

— …

—It’s true, isn’t it?

—It’s … It’s more complicated than that.

—Would you have told me?

—Would I have told you? Not now! Someday, maybe. I’m so sorry you had to hear any of this.

—I’m not. She’s the only one who didn’t lie to me.

—Look, Eva, I’m not sure what you think you know— —I know you and Kara didn’t want me.

—Kara didn’t want Alyssa to knock her unconscious, strap her to a table, and remove her eggs without her consent. That doesn’t mean she didn’t want you. She had no idea you even existed. No one did, except for Alyssa. The minute she heard about you, Kara was gone. She went against orders to go get you! There were a lot of bad things going on, people dying, but she went to get you. Do you know where I was when she left?

—Where?

—I was missing. I was stuck with Themis at the bottom of the ocean and no one knew where I was. But she left anyway because she thought you might be in danger. Do you understand what I’m saying? There was no one more important to her. She’d never met you in her life, not once, and you were the most important thing in the world to her.

—She didn’t care about me. She wanted a pilot for Themis.

—Kara died so you could live, you ungrateful little brat! Show some respect.

—I saw her die.

—I saw her die too.

—I mean before. I saw her die before, in my dreams. I saw a metal woman, like Themis, but now I know it was her. I thought she was falling upwards into the clouds. It didn’t make any sense. I had that same dream all the time. They thought there was something wrong with me. They thought I was crazy.

—Did you see her face? In your dreams?

—Not really. It was … it was different, but I know it was her.

—Well, let me tell you something Eva. I saw her fall in my head too, over and over again. I still see her. She’s falling backwards, her arms spread, and she disappears into a sea of white. That’s what you saw, right?

—Yes.

—Me too. It’s all I could see. Over, and over, and over. Then last night it hit me. Kara left everything to find you. She left her work, she left me, she left everything when the world needed her the most because she wanted to make sure nothing happened to you. She would have given anything, sacrificed anything to save you. And she did, she gave her life, and she saved you. That was the most important thing to her. So when she closed that hatch and fell backwards into a sea of white smoke, I know she had a smile on her face. She died happy, and she died proud. Close your eyes.

—I don’t want to.

—Close your eyes! I want you to see her. Kara. Your mother. See her fall with a huge grin on her face. She won. She took on Russian mercenaries, giant alien robots. She took on the entire universe and she won. She did what she set out to do. Your mom was a badass motherfucker. I know you didn’t get to know her, but Kara had the most beautiful smile when she was proud of herself. Smug, like you wouldn’t believe. Made you want to punch her in the face, but it was beautiful.

—Do you hate me?

—Why would I hate you?

—You said Kara died to save me. It’s OK if you hate me.