Waking Gods (Themis Files #2)(25)

—That’s good! Can you think of what’s different when you’re not?

—What do you mean?

—I’d like to know why you’re not afraid of some of the things you see.

—They’re not all bad things. Sometimes I see good things happening.

—Like what?

—I saw my dad buying a new car. He was happy.

—Did your dad buy a new car?

—No. He’s saving for it.

—So not everything you see happens, does it?

—I don’t know! But it feels real when I see it.

—Of course it does. Dreams can seem very real.

—They’re not dreams! I see these things when I’m awake. I see them all the time! I know what dreams are. I also know when I’m imagining things. This isn’t the same! I know you don’t think I’m telling the truth, but I am. It’s different.

—Eva, I never said you weren’t telling the truth. I never thought that for a moment. I know you think what you’re seeing is real. I just want you to make room for the possibility that it’s not.

—It’s four o’clock. My mom’ll be waiting downstairs.

—Yes. You can go, Eva. Think about what I said. Next time it happens, try telling yourself it’s not real. Say it out loud if you need to. And start drawing what you see. You can bring your drawings with you next time. I’d like to see them. If that doesn’t work, we’ll try something else. There is a special kind of medication that might make the bad thoughts go away.

—I don’t want medication.

—It’s just a thought, Eva. Your parents and I, we … we just want you to be happy.





FILE NO. 1528

INTERVIEW WITH DR. ROSE FRANKLIN, HEAD OF SCIENCE DIVISION, EARTH DEFENSE CORPS

Location: EDC Headquarters, New York, NY

—Put the gun down, Dr. Franklin.

—Get out!

—Dr. Franklin …

—Please! I just wanna be alone! I’m not hurting anyone.

—You are pointing a 9mm handgun at your right temple. I do not wish to draw unfounded conclusions, but I do fear for your safety at the moment. I also know the reason you are distraught and realize I might have been a contributing factor to your current state of mind.

—It wasn’t pointed at my head until your guard walked in. And you didn’t do anything. Now go! Both of you!

—Dr. Franklin, put the gun down so this gentleman here can leave us alone. I would very much like to talk to you.

[Put the gun down, ma’am!]

Young man, there is no immediate danger here. You can holster your weapon.

[I can’t do that, sir.]

Your name and rank, please.

[Petty Officer Franklin, sir.]

Franklin? Are you two related?

[No, sir.]

If you are not related to her, Petty Officer Franklin, she will not mind when I have you locked up for the remainder of your short life. You probably know very little about me, but you can trust that, if I apply myself, I can make your existence so excruciatingly painful that you will beg for it to end. And I give you my word: If any harm comes to Dr. Franklin, self-inflicted or not, while you are pointing your weapon at her, I will apply myself thoroughly … Good. Now leave us.

[Sir … ]

Close the door behind you … Dr. Franklin, please accept my apology for the lack of sensibility demonstrated by your namesake. The elite unfortunately do not get assigned to night-shift security. More than anything, please forgive me if our previous discussion prompted this moment of despair.

—It’s not despair. I just want to put an end to this charade. I shouldn’t be here. Rose Franklin is dead!

—That is not what I said. Please give me the gun. We both know you will not end your life today. It is almost 5:00 A.M., so I assume you have been staring at the weapon for hours. I do not doubt your conviction, but your resolve will not magically increase after breakfast.

—It’s harder than I thought.

—The will to live is very hard to suppress. It shames me to say it is a subject I am well versed in. Besides, we really need your help.

—You don’t need me. You really don’t. I haven’t done anything useful since I … since I came back.

—That is not true. No one understands Themis better than you do.

—She’s not supposed to be here either, you know that? I was wrong. We weren’t meant to find her. She’s supposed to be buried, hidden. I’m supposed to be dead. You should dismantle Themis, throw her back to the bottom of the ocean. Forget about her and forget about me.

—It is a little late for that.

—I just want it to stop. You don’t know what it’s like to be … It doesn’t matter. Can you please leave?

—It matters to me. If you will not give me the gun, at least put it down … There … What I told you yesterday was meant to reassure you. It is fairly obvious now that what I said did not have the intended result.

—You just told me the truth. I’m not me! I’m a copy!

—I said nothing of the sort.

—You said they remade me out of thin air!

—They re-created you based on data they had obtained before your death.

—I’m a copy!

—I tried to relay to you information that was given to me by one of the people involved. I can see now that my rendition was less than perfect. It sounded much better in my head. The central point, which seems to have been lost in translation, was that who you are, your essence, was fully preserved in the process. I— —It doesn’t matter! I’m not— —I was not finished. I have made a terrible mistake in thinking I could convincingly explain things that I barely understand myself. I have done so out of distrust, in a gratuitous attempt to control information that you were clearly entitled to. I was wrong and I am sorry. The person who gave me that information— —Is he one of the people that … made me?