Wake to Dream(87)

*

The time following Max’ death was a blur. She remembered bits and pieces: the bloody trail left behind him, the difficulty she’d faced to drag his weight through the house. By the time her thoughts were clear enough to follow the sequence of events that occurred around her, Alice found herself kneeling at a shallow grave, the land open and cradling the body of her beloved husband.

Bending down to run her hand over the freshly turned soil, she felt a tear slip down her cheek. She said her goodbyes with whispers that were stolen from her lips by a peaceful wind that blew through the canopies of oak trees and carried the sweet scent of roses as it floated by.

She had no idea how long she’d stayed there, but the sun was high in the sky. Sweat slipped down her face to land in a muddy puddle on her white dress, a dress now splashed and stained by the blood of the man she’d loved.

Alice didn’t regret the decision she’d been forced to make, didn’t cry for the loss of the monster Max had been. Instead, she cried for the man he might have been if fate had been kinder to the child.

Balancing herself by grabbing the handle of a shovel, Alice stood up from the soil and walked past the unmarked graves of the people who’d failed Max, her hand slamming the iron gate closed when she left the small cemetery behind.

Unhurried, she wound her way along the trail through the garden and entered the house to look upon the filth that had been left behind.

He would have hated this mess, she thought. Would have hated the ugliness and scars the sweep of blood had left along the tiles.

Fighting the urge to clean up the mess, she grabbed her cell phone from the island counter and forced herself up eighteen steps into a bedroom that was pristine white. Her muddy, red footprints marked her trail across the carpet as she made her way into the bathroom.

She stared at herself in the mirror, the cell phone held in her hand as she lamented the choices she’d been forced to make.

Setting the phone on the toilet by the tub, Alice sat on the rim and reached over to turn on the water.

And at 12:30 p.m., on a Thursday afternoon, with the birds singing outside and a grave left open to the rain that would eventually fall, Alice lowered her body into a warm bath, her pale skin turning red in response to the heat of the water as she washed away what remained of the nightmare her life had become.





12:41 p.m.



The tap of a pen.

The tick of a clock.

Water dripping from a leaky faucet.



It was all that could fill the space between Alice and her doctor, her confession finally at its end and leaving them both in shocked silence.

Unable to handle the harsh reality of what she had done, Alice spoke first, her voice an intrusion into the peaceful stillness in the room.

“I think I did the right thing. Don’t you?” With pleading eyes, she stared at her doctor, whispers of accusation a symphony in her head while she waited for him to respond.

The doctor studied her for a brief period of time, concern and appraisal obvious in his calculating eyes. “I think you did what you believed you had to do. What other choice did you have?”

She nodded her head, tears slipping over cheeks that were chapped from the amount of times she’d cried. “I loved him more than anything, Doc. Destroying him destroyed me in the process. But he hurt so many women.”

A beat of silence between them, the sound of water dripping in the sink.

“Why didn’t you call the police, Alice? Why did you take the matter into your own hands?” He paused, his pen no longer tapping over the notebook in his lap. “How will you live with what you’ve done?”

Blinking away the liquid that blurred her vision, Alice shook her head. “He would have been locked up, Doc. Imprisoned and most likely killed. He didn’t deserve that, not after what his parents had done to him. I know what it feels like to be locked away. My father…” A sob tore through her chest, her eyes clenching shut at the memories assaulting her mind. “I know what that feels like, and I wasn’t going to do it to him. It was better this way. Better that the man I loved was freed from the monster. Perhaps in another life he can find the happiness he deserved.”

A tick of the clock drew the doctor’s attention, his head turning slightly to stare up at the timepiece on the wall. “Your time is almost up, Alice. You still have a few more minutes to do what needs to be done.”

Her face turned up towards the ceiling, Alice opened her eyes and stared at the perfect blankness of the white paint. Her body trembled in place on the couch, her heart beat slowing in rhythm until it was only a whisper of a pulse inside her chest.

“Is there anything else you should remember, Alice? Anything at all?”

She looked at Dr. Chance, a sad smile pulling at her lips. “I’ve remembered everything I need to remember, Doc. There is nothing that can make this better. Nothing so important that it will change what has already occurred.”

Nodding in understand, Dr. Chance said, “It’s time, Alice.”

Standing up, the doctor offered his hand and Alice reached up to accept the assistance. Pulled to her feet, she stood on shaky legs, her free arm wrapping around her abdomen, a false sense of security in the way she held herself together.

“Let’s go in the bathroom and get you cleaned up.”

As they stepped towards the door, Alice asked the doctor a question that had bothered her from the first moment she’d first walked through his door.