Waiting on the Sidelines (Waiting on the Sidelines #1)(35)

I was so lost in my own fantasy that Sean startled me when he sat back down next to me.

“It’s because of him, isn’t it,” he said, matter-of-fact.

“What?” I pretended, knowing exactly what he meant and dreading the direction this conversation was about to go.

“Reed. You can’t take your eyes off of him,” he stopped, then chuckled a little to himself, but in a sad way. “It’s funny. Now that I think about it, you really never could, could you?” He tilted his head towards me, waiting for a response.

I sat there dumbfounded. He knew everything, without me having to say a word. I blinked, feeling like I should fight away tears. But nothing was there. I couldn’t cry over this because I didn’t really have intimate feelings for Sean. I cared for him deeply, but as a friend.

He looked down for a while and then finally broke the silence. “It’s ok. I mean… I’m not going to lie, it f*ckin’ hurts. I REALLLLY liked you, Noles. But I’m not mad. Just, maybe give it some time? I’m just not ready to see you flirting with him yet, is that ok?”

I leapt into his arms and hugged him tighter than I ever had. My eyes were welling up now. Sean was so good to me, and I didn’t deserve it. But what stung even worse was the fact that he thought he would have to see me and Reed together when I knew that was impossible.

“You are too good for me, Sean Foster. I mean it,” I said, pulling out of our embrace.

“I know,” he laughed out, his voice cracking a little as he stood up and turned away from me. “I’m going to head over to the guys for a bit. I just need a break from… from this talk.”

“I’m sorry Sean. I didn’t want it to go this way,” I said, hoping he would forgive me for hurting him. “You really are amazing.”

He smiled at me walking backwards, pursing his lips and shaking his head. “Not that amazing,” he said, gesturing to Reed. “Clearly not that amazing.”

Then he was gone.

I sat by myself for the next hour, wrapped in Reed’s warmth and thinking on how things ended with Sean. I felt oddly lucky. But I also felt lost. I was nobody’s now. At least when I was with Sean I felt like I was a part of something. Sitting in the middle of the field alone, I started to feel my gut sink.

I needed to do my warm ups, so I rolled up the sleeves of Reed’s shirt and stood to walk to the track. I looked over to the stands where Sean and Reed were sitting by each other. Both of their heads were down, and I could tell Reed was consoling him. Becky came into my view and I realized she was jogging over to join me. She had a sympathetic smile on her face as she came up to me with open arms. I hugged her, not knowing what else to do.

“I heard, Noles. I’m so sorry,” she said, patting me on the back. Good lord, word travels fast out here.

“Thanks,” I said, moving toward the track. She followed me and started to jog my warm ups with me.

“You know,” she started. “I’m not surprised. I mean, I think a lot of us saw this coming. You don’t look at Sean like you look at Reed.”

Becky was smarter than I thought. I shrugged at her, acknowledging my secret to an outsider for the first time. “It doesn’t matter, though. Tatum has him wrapped around her… well,… her everything,” I laughed.

Becky laughed, too, but then got quiet. “She’s steaming mad at you, you know,” she said, giving me a sideways glance. What could I have done now? She’s the one who decorated the highway with my fleece warm ups.

Becky continued, “She asked Reed where his shirt was and he pointed to you, said something about you forgetting them?” Becky made a skeptical face. “Which is odd… because we packed together, so…”

I knew where she was going. She thought I pretended to not have them just to wear Reed’s. I didn’t want her thinking I was that vapid, but I spoke too quickly.

“Yeah, I did pack them. Then Tatum ‘unpacked’ them for me on the highway,” I said, instantly wishing I could retract it all.

Becky’s eyes were wide and we both started to slow our jog to walk the straightaway part of the track. “Are. You. Kidding me!?” she said defensively.

Sheepishly, I looked down and nodded. “It’s no big deal. Please don’t say anything. I don’t want it to become bigger than it needs to be.”

Becky closed her lips tight and stared straight ahead. After a few seconds of silence she turned to me and grabbed my shoulder. “She’s evil, Nolan. Really. I know what she’s been doing to you. I’ve seen her this way before. She’s a bully, and a terrible person. You have to tell Reed. Not because you want to steal him from her, but because he needs to know. So he can get the hell away from her!”

I would never tell Reed, and I think a part of Becky knew that. But I nodded anyway, pretending. The announcer called my race and I left Becky, heading for the starting line area. I breathed in the smell of Reed’s shirt a few more times before I took it off and set it down on the track. I was in the third heat, so I had some time to kill. I did a few starts and short sprints to get my legs moving. I headed over to the sidewalk side of the track to sit and check my laces but was stopped before I could sit down by a painful shove.

“You just don’t get it, do you? He’s not into you. He’s my boyfriend and you need to back off, trailer trash!” Tatum was yelling in my face. I was without words, something I was vowing to work on while I searched for the right thing to say to her in response. I shook my head, trying to get my mouth to work and then looked over to the stands across the way to see Becky sitting next to Reed and both of them staring at Tatum and I. Becky was talking animatedly with her hands, as if she was angry. In an instant I knew she was telling Reed about the secret cruel pranks Tatum had played on me. Milliseconds were passing so slowly. I wanted to pause everything, get my bearings and ready myself for this next round. But there was no stopping this.