Waiting on the Sidelines (Waiting on the Sidelines #1)(118)
“Nolan,” Reed whispered. “This…the accident, our breakup, my season…none of that was your fault. None of it.”
His hand was under my chin now and he was forcing me to open my eyes. Blurry-eyed, I looked at him, but quickly tried to look to the side, unable to against his force. He looked me in the eyes again, moving his hand to my cheek and bringing his other hand to the other side of my face, brushing the hairs out of the way. “Nolan, it wasn’t your fault. The accident, it just happened. And our relationship, I’m the one who destroyed that. OK?”
I shook again, fighting against the full on cry that I’d buried deep down for months. Reed was wiping away my tears now and bringing me into his chest to hold me close. By instinct, I reached up and grabbed the fabric of his sweatshirt in my hands and squeezed tightly before reaching around his body to hold him back. “You never called. I waited…” I confessed. I kept my face flat to his chest, embarrassed and afraid of his response.
I felt his body stiffen a little and then I felt the air leave his lungs as he relaxed. “I wanted to…so badly,” he kissed the top of my head with his words. “But I wanted you to live your life and make a decision just for you. I didn’t want you to be disappointed, following me to some school and then watching me fail. I can’t let you down again,” he was holding me tighter now, almost as if he was afraid I would be the one to run away.
With his words, all fear left my body, and I felt strong enough to speak my heart. “Reed, the only thing that you ever did to let me down was give up on us. I love you, and I’d love you if you were a biology major without an inkling of athletic talent, I swear,” I smiled stupidly as I tilted my head back and stared at him. I awed as I watched the caution in his eyes slide for just a bit, a small smile touching his lips.
His strong hands slid around me tighter now and he leaned back a little, lifting me off the ground with his embrace, holding me up a little to look me in the eyes as he spun me around and started to walk to my bed. He pushed me back against it and we fell down together, still holding on to one another. He leaned over me and tucked my hair behind my ears slowly, his eyes intent on his hands as he touched my face softly. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to my forehead, then my cheek before coming to rest his head against mine again, his eyes staring deep into mine.
“I love you, too, Nolan,” he said, letting out a deep breath. “And I swear, if you let me, if you give me another chance, I promise I won’t let you down.”
With his eyes closed against me, I just nodded my head, whispering yes against his lips before kissing him with all of the love I’d been holding onto, as if I’d been waiting to give it to him all at once. Wrapping my arms and legs around him, we quickly became tangled and hungry for one another, gripping each other tightly for fear of the night slipping away.
When I realized that almost an hour had passed, I stopped Reed from carrying our kissing any further and held his gaze as I smiled, a true smile, the first I’d had since that car had run us off the desert highway. He laid back and I nestled myself into his arm and tucked my hand inside the warmth of his shirt against his bare chest. “Hey, aren’t you going to be missed?” I worried, hoping he wouldn’t miss a curfew or anything.
He just chuckled a little. “Naw, I don’t have practice until tomorrow afternoon. I have to get back by four. And I figure if I’m going to be making this drive a lot, I should figure out exactly how long it takes me,” he smiled, looking down at me against him, and leaned in to kiss my head again before shutting his eyes.
I watched him fall asleep and felt soothed at the sound of his breathing. Somehow, we had found our way back to us. And we felt stronger this time. I knew that there would be bumps in our road, things to shake up the perfect I felt right now. But I also knew it was worth it, every second. The good and the bad.
Not wanting to leave his arms, I left the lights on and laid there until I heard Sienna’s keys at our door. She shut it quietly, probably expecting to see me asleep, and stilled when she took in the sight of me staring at her, my finger to my mouth to tell her to be quiet. Her eyes shot up with surprise and I just smiled and nodded, biting my lip and letting her know that my wish had somehow come true, no matter that it had taken longer than I expected. She smiled back and blew a kiss at me and flipped out the lights, crawling into her bed.
I stared at Reed in the dark for another hour before finally succumbing to the sleepiness that took me over. And for the first night in weeks I didn’t dream. Probably because I didn’t need to.
--- THE END ---
Acknowledgements
This book has been a lifetime in the making. I’ve wanted to write a coming-of-age love story since I was coming-of-age myself. I’ve spent more than a decade working as a reporter, freelance journalist, editor and digital media specialist, which has been a proven training ground for helping me tell honest stories that touch the heart. I hope I have been able to convey that same honesty in my fiction.
Waiting by the Sidelines is a special story to me. It is about those anxieties young girls feel over not being good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough, rich enough, daring enough to fit in. It is about wanting someone so badly but not feeling confident enough in yourself to put your heart on the line. It’s about finding your center of confidence and then rebuilding it over and over again, each time your inner strength takes a hit. No one is impervious to heartbreak, and those of us who say we are, well, we’re lying.