Vindicate (Recovered Innocence #1)(20)

She isn’t supposed to have a life her brother can’t.

I don’t know how to get around that or if I should even try. Time she would spend with me on a date is time she’s not working to free Beau. There’s no way for me or anyone else to compete with that. It’s just there, always between us. The grief radiates out of her, bleeding into the air around her. I breathe it in and it coats my skin until I can’t separate myself from her or it. I’ve absorbed so much of it now I wonder if I’ll ever be rid of it or even if I want to be.

So I plod along beside her, giving her what I can and working my ass off to find a clue that will end this nightmare for her.

A week later I finally have something that might help, if only for a moment. Beau has agreed to meet with me. I debate whether or not I should tell Cora before or after I meet with him…but for only a second.

No matter how early I wake up, Cora always manages to get to the office before me. I set her tea next to her and take my seat across from her. She goes through her usual routine with it. I’ve come to depend on moments like this with her. They’re as necessary to me as breathing.

It’s Saturday, so we’re the only ones in the office. Dad gave Cora a key a week ago, after Savannah complained about Cora sitting on the steps, waiting for her to open up. It’s quiet except for the hum of the fax machine spitting something out. I’m supposed to run my daily Internet search for Edith Wheeler, the downstairs neighbor, to see if she suddenly pops up out of nowhere. Instead, I’m waiting for the perfect moment to tell Cora about Beau.

She glances up from her cup. “What?” She knows something’s going on.

“I’m going out to the prison today to visit Beau. Do you want to go with me?”

She freezes, staring at me like she can’t process what I just said. Everything stills in me, waiting for her reaction.

“He agreed to talk to you?” Anger is not the emotion I expected. “How in the hell did you get him to agree to that?”

I should know better by now than to try to predict Cora. “I guess I wrote a persuasive enough argument.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “What did you say to him?”

I should come clean, but I can’t. What I said to Beau is between him and me. “I told him that you’re just going to keep bugging him until he relents. He relented. Why aren’t you happy about this?”

“Why should I be happy about it?”

“You were mad at him when he wouldn’t cooperate. Now he is and you’re still mad?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I guess I’m mad that he gave in so easily to you when he’s been so damn stubborn with me.”

“But this is a good thing.”

“Maybe. Just because he agreed to see you doesn’t mean he’ll talk to you.”

“Leave it to me. Do you want to ride out there with me or not?”

Her gaze shifts to her computer screen, then back to me. I can tell she’s debating how her time would be best served—riding in a car or working on finding Edith Wheeler.

“I’ll go with you.” She checks the time on her phone. “We should leave within the next twenty minutes.”

The drive is long and boring, but I’m holding Cora’s hand and she’s letting me. So there’s that. I have in mind what I want to say to Beau and the things I want to ask him. I’m not sure how it will go. I’m pissed as hell at him on Cora’s behalf. It’s an irrational anger, I know. And while Cora shoulders some of the responsibility for putting Beau’s life before her own, I put the bulk of it on Beau’s head. He hasn’t cooperated at all. My line of thought is that Cora might have been able to free him before now if he’d only f*cking participated.

It’s strange to never have met someone who I know so much about. Beau and I have Cora in common, but not much else. His life took a turn I can’t fathom. I’m not sure what to say about that when I see him. What do you say?

Cora gave me the drill on prison security, so before I know it I’m through screening and walking into the visitors’ room of the prison. It takes me a minute to spot Beau. He doesn’t look like any of the pictures Cora showed me. He’s bigger, bulkier. His hair is short and he scowls as if he’ll hit anyone who dares to look in his direction, let alone talk to him. I see now what has Cora so frightened and why she stormed into my dad’s office that day the way she did. The prison is a cancer and Beau’s riddled with it. She’s not just fighting for the brother she knew, she’s fighting for his life.

I take my seat opposite him and sit still for his inspection. I don’t flinch at his stare. I take him head-on.

“You have balls,” he says.

“Yep. Two.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you to stop jerking Cora around.”

He puts an arm on the table and leans in. “What the f*ck is it to you?”

I mirror his posture. “Why don’t you give her what she wants?”

“I told her a thousand times to forget about me and get on with her life.”

“And how has that worked out for you so far?”

He makes a rude noise.

“You should know Cora better than anyone,” I press. “She’s not ever going to give up. So stop f*cking jerking her around and tell her what she wants to know.”