Vindicate (Insight #5)(83)

“They didn’t open a door. It opened in front of them. Whatever happens is not their fault,” I argued.

“I t’s no one’s fault,” Alamos agreed . “And it’s everyone’s. I’m not entirely sure those child ren are completely children. I n fact, I’m not sure that either of you are.”

“What are we then?” Landen asked, not really caring.

“Divine souls, no doubt. What name I would give you, I do not know. I just know that you ar e more than most can perceive. Just as the battle before you is.”

I felt Perodine’s grief, and I didn’t understand why. She looked away from us and walked to her table and b egan to straighten her things. I’m sure to prepare for them to move her belongings back to the study.

Alamos patted my shoulder, then left the room.

“I’m going to go find Dad. Why don’t you s ee if you can figure that out? Then we’ll go, h e thought as he nodded to Perodine, recognizing her emotion.

“I want to talk to Beth, too, though.”

“Do you think now is the time to do that?”

I grimaced. “She almost lost him again. I f I talk to her while that emotion is still fresh – even if I just open the door to the discussion that would be a start.”

“Wise woman, ” he thought as he leaned down and kissed me before leaving the room. I hesitated as I watched him walk away; his lips w ere so warm. So suddenly addicting.

When Perodine didn’t glance up at me, I knew then she was purposely ignoring me. I walked over to her table and started to close the open books. In the center, there were the charts she had been mapping out, ones for each of us. Dane’s was on top, and Clarissa’s was just beneath it. Perodine reached for the papers and took them from me.

“How far have you gotten with that?” I asked. “Can you see how we are connected? Who will be at risk next?”

“You’re all at risk, child.” Her tone was laced with foreboding.

“You know what I mean.”

She tucked the charts into a book, then looked up at me. “Tell me after all of this that you un derstand that life is eternal. That the bodies we have are borrowed and one day we w ill be asked to give them back. Back to the Earth, but ou r soul will find another host. That we never die. Do you understand that?”

“Why are you asking me that?” I said as my heart began to beat wildly in my chest. “Who’s dying?”

“Did you not hear what I said? We don’t die,” she said as she put her book down and reached her hands from my shoulders.

“I understand that, but you never say anyt hing unless you have a reason. What reason do you have? What is in those charts? On that scroll?”

“Everything and nothing,” she said as she squeezed my shoulders. “I can tell you every influence – every likely trait – or difficulty in anyone’s path, but I cannot predict the choices of a soul. I cannot tell you who rises and who falls.”

“What can you tell me?” I said quietly, knowing there was more.

“I told you that you would finish this with Drake and Landen at your side.”

“What about everyone else?” I asked in a trembling tone.

“If we never die, then they will all be at your side one way or another,” she promised.

“If you saw something horrible, you would tell me, right? You would tell me so I could fix it, right?”

Her green eyes swam with remorse. “If I see something that I know can be avoided or changed, I most definitely will tell you, but you have to understand those momen ts are few and far between. Some fates are sealed before breath is taken. They are sealed by the ones that chose them, and you cannot fault anyone for the fate they feel in their soul.”

“Tell me who you are talking about.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because, Willow . You have not l earned to see the big picture. I f I told you my fear – my gut feeling, you would foc us everything you had on that, and not see anything else , and ri ght now you have to see it all . Because I could be wrong . I’ve been wrong before, and I’ll be wrong again.”

“What if I told you I wouldn’t focus on whatever you said?”

“Then you would be a liar and that is one title my daughter will not hold.”

“There is nothing I can d o to change what you see coming?” I pressed.

“There is nothing you can do to change what I fear has already occurred.”

My insides caved in. Before I could argue, she dropped her hands from my shoulders and took her book s and left the room.

I glanced across the room to the empty bed…the altar. I took a deep breath and told myself not to worry. I f it had alre ady happened, I’d survived it. I’d survived much worse. I doubted any trial would ever test me as much as this one did.

I felt Landen down the hall and went to find him. As I walked in his direction, I focused on the familiar emotions of my family. Mar c, Stella, Ashten, and August were still here, but everyone else was gone. I thought I felt Beth ju st below me, but I wasn’t sure. Her emotion seemed faint. Like it was far away.

Landen was at the doorway that led to the passage, talking to Ashten and Marc. They stopped their conversation as I walked up.

“Talk about making someone uncomfortable,” I teased. “Were you guys talking about me?”