Valon: What Once Was (Volkov Bratva Novella)(28)



No, she couldn’t love somebody like him.

No one could.

Letting her go, he took a step back, urging her with his eyes to get on the train. After a brief hesitation, she did exactly that, handing over her pass to one of the people inside. He didn’t know how far she would get, but he hoped for her sake that she at least made it out of the country.

As the train whistled again, announcing its departure, he held her gaze and mouthed the words, ‘I love you, too.’ She had been a true friend to him, and now that he knew what that was like, he would cherish this memory.

He remained there long after he had lost sight of her, thinking of what he’d given up but also of what he had gained. There was no question that what he did was the right thing to do, but the guilt still ate at him for how long he had allowed her to suffer—even if he had been blind to it—and ultimately, the price she’d had to pay for his selfishness.

____

Valon tucked his hands into his pockets, his head held high as he headed back to the place he’d called home for the last five years. He’d turned a blind eye to the life he’d led in that place, becoming the very thing they had wanted, but now…who was he now?

He wasn’t a mindless killer like they wanted…

He wasn’t the man Elena had wanted him to be…

Maybe one day he would find out. Maybe one day he would be better than he was.

Valon saw the car coming toward him but didn’t bother to move out of the way, a part of him hoping that he would get hit and end it all. He had been wandering for hours, so the likelihood of them knowing which train Elena was on was slim, not to mention they couldn’t have known what time they’d left.

Stopping, Valon waited, a smile spreading on his lips when Strom climbed out of the backseat and pointed a gun at him. That little grin made him unsure, but he merely tightened his hold, more assured when Fatos got out next.

Unlike Strom who looked angry, Fatos looked…disappointed.

“Bastian is waiting for you.”

Valon shrugged and started walking toward the car, ignoring their looks of surprise. Did they think he would run? He didn’t care much about anything anymore, not even his life.

The ride back was uneventful and unbearably quiet, but Valon just rested his head against the glass window and thought about where he would have been if he’d gone anywhere but to Bastian.

There were more waiting when they arrived back, most staring at him as though they couldn’t understand his actions. No, they wouldn’t.

Valon didn’t need the escorts because he wasn’t afraid to face Bastian’s wrath. He was waiting inside the barn, his face flushed red with anger.

“Where’s Loki?”

“Oh, shut—”

When Strom moved to grab him, Valon struck first, dropping him with one hit. They could do this one of two ways. Either he got the answer he wanted and he accepted whatever punishment Bastian decided on, or he would break every single person in the room and not think twice about it.

“He’s still locked in your room. No one has touched him.”

His answer given, Bastian nodded for the others to tie him up, and this time, Valon didn’t fight back.

“Women,” Bastian said conversationally as he ignored the men zip-tying Valon’s wrists, hefting him up onto one of the hooks dangling from the ceiling. “They can destroy the best of partnerships. No, the best relationships. Have I not been good to you, Valon? Have I not given you everything you have asked for and more? Where is your loyalty, boy? I hand you the world, and you spit in my face.”

Valon, all the while Bastian was speaking, stared at the ground, not in fear, but because he didn’t feel the heaviness he normally did. When he finished a round in the Pit, there was always that sinking feeling in his gut that kept him awake at night. But this…this act of defiance had taken some of that away.

Finally, after condemning so many to misery or death in this place, he had managed to help one person get away. She was smart, smarter than anyone here had given her credit for, so he didn’t doubt for a second that she would run for as long as it took.

Just the image in his head of her staring back at him through the small window of the train brought a small smile to his face.

Whatever punishment Bastian wanted meted out, he would gladly accept it.

“Fatos.”

Valon’s body tensed as he heard his friend’s footsteps, and then looked up into his face as he came around to his line of vision.

“You did this to yourself,” Fatos said with a frown. And the part that baffled Valon the most was that he actually looked like he regretted what he was about to do…but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy it.

His shirt was cut away, landing in a pile on the dirt floor.

It was worth it…

That was what Valon had to remind himself of as he heard Fatos pick up a blade, even as that same blade scored down his back, ripping his flesh open.

He tried…he tried desperately not to vocalize the pain he was in, but with each cut, the pain multiplied and before he knew, he was screaming…but he didn’t beg.

Valon was done begging anyone for anything.





-





14




Three years later…

Valon trailed along behind Fatos and Bastian as they were led through the mansion where the infamous Besnik family lived. It was grand, bigger than any home Valon had ever seen, but while Fatos looked around in open envy, Valon was unfazed. He didn’t think anything could impress him anymore.

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