Undiscovered (Unremembered #1.5)(21)

“Well, she’s not actually the one to do the erasing,” she said defensively. “She has coders for that. She just reviews the footage and decides what has to go.”

“Still,” Rustin said, “that’s glitched up.”

Xaria scoffed at this. They seemed to have forgotten about me. “Like your father’s job is any better.”

They went on like this for a while but I had stopped listening.

Something that Rio had said the night of our failed escape had slithered back into my consciousness during the conversation. He had mentioned something about my mother and “the last time.” But he’d halted himself before he could reveal more.

I had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Seraphina that I hadn’t even thought about that until now.

What had he meant?

Had I been wiped before?

Was last night not the first time I’d been in that chair? What had I seen in the past that had warranted a memory restoration?

It must have been bad. They didn’t wipe memories for C3 infractions. No. Memory restorations were specifically designed for C6s and higher.

“Xaria.” I interrupted their friendly debate, causing everyone to stare at me in bewilderment. It was the first word I’d uttered all day.

“Yes?” she answered warily, as though she were talking to an unstable alien.

“You said your mother has high clearance in the memory labs, right?”

She shrugged. “She’s Dr. Solara. She practically runs the memory labs.”

I nodded, my brain swirling. “Good. I need you to get me in there. Tonight. When no one else is around.”

She laughed at this. As did Rustin and Klo. “That’s a nice fantasy you’ve dreamed up there.”

“It’s not a fantasy. Do whatever you need to do, but get me into that lab. And I’ll need her access codes and fingerprints.”

“You’re spazzed.”

I glanced up, letting my eyes connect with hers. I reached out and took her hand, rubbing my thumb against her skin. “Please, Xaria.” I let my voice roll over her name, massaging the syllables. “I need this.”

I could tell my pleas were working. Her face softened at my touch. Her eyes danced under my pinning gaze. I knew it was wrong to use her feelings for me to get what I wanted, but I didn’t have a choice. Something was stored in those memory servers. Something that I wasn’t supposed to know about. And I needed to get to it.

“But why?” she asked quietly. “Why do you need access to the servers?”

Klo and Rustin glanced uneasily between us, unsure where this was going.

I released her hand but kept my eyes tightly locked on hers. “Because I’m fairly certain some of my memories are stored in there.”





16: Kissed


I went home with Xaria that afternoon and managed to lift her mother’s fingerprint off a coffee mug she’d left on the kitchen table. We waited until after midnight and her mom had returned home before sneaking into lab 4 and using my freshly imprinted NanoStrip to gain access.

I had never been on this side of the glass before. There were rows of cubicles set up, each with large Revisualization monitors, high-tech command centers built specifically for sorting through and recoding memories.

We sat down at one of the terminals, and Xaria inputted her mother’s access code at the login prompt. I glanced up in surprise. “You already knew it?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s my birthday.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet,” I mumbled.

She didn’t appreciate the sarcasm. “Just because your mother is never around doesn’t mean you have to take it out on the rest of us.”

“You’re right,” I said, lowering my head. “Sorry.”

Once we were in the system, I typed Lyzender Luman into the search field and a pod promptly returned with my name on it. It was dated a little over a year ago.

A year ago?

That was long before I’d met Seraphina.

Before my father left.

There was only one file inside the pod.

One memory.

I dragged it into the Revisualization software. The monitor in front of me flickered on, and I hovered my finger above the Play button.

My breathing suddenly became very strained and I could feel Xaria’s presence behind me.

“You don’t have to stay,” I told her, hoping she’d take the hint. Whatever was stored in this pod, I wanted to see it alone.

She pulled up a second chair and lowered into it. “It’s okay. I don’t mind staying.”

She leaned forward until the dark skin of her cheek was only inches from mine.

I bit my lip in frustration. How was I going to do this without offending her?

“I’ll be fine,” I insisted.

She turned to me and smiled. “Lyzender.” My name sounded so foreign on her lips. So awkward. Especially after Sera had started calling me Zen. Hearing it was like accidently putting your foot into someone else’s worn shoe.

“You need to stop pushing people away,” she continued, stern but empathetic. “Watching anyone’s stolen memories can be really stressful. But watching your own could be downright disturbing. I want to help you. Let me be here for you. I’m your friend.” Her voice got very soft on the last word and she turned her head away from me. “And I can be more than just your friend if you want me to.”