Underground Airlines(18)
I huddled together with him underneath our scratchy blanket, sleep swimming in and out of my head. Murmuring car parts and cities.
“Montreal.”
“Montreal.”
“Chicago.”
“Chicago.”
From the near distance, on the opposite side of the farm, came the mournful night songs of the cows, mooing in their lairages.
Castle told me stories, too: a man who got eaten by a whale and came swimming out fine. A boy and a girl who fell in love and killed a witch and ate her.
We had to be real quiet, of course, whispering back and forth so soft it was almost like just thinking. Obviously lying there talking in bunk you could get charged: Theft of Rest. Bad Use of Time. There had been a man in our Family named Bones, one of the older of the youngers, a skinny broomstick of a man with sharp elbows. Someone flagged him for being a masturbator—Theft of Rest; Bad Use of Time; Act Against God; Act Against Mr. Bell. We all got woke in the dead of night from him hollering as they were dragging him out for it. They charged him right there and took two witness statements in the presence of a Franklin, who certified the verdict, then they hauled him to the shed. The shed was just a few yards from where our cabin was along the fence, and you could hear Bones in there weeping and whatnot, right till morning.
“Betcha he ain’t playing with his little thing about now,” said Harbor. “Not with his hands bound up behind him.” Harbor had a hard smile like a knife slit that showed up when others were suffering. “No, I betcha he is not.” I never wondered who had whispered against poor Bones.
But we kept nice and quiet, Castle and me, and we were all right. Our Old Man in those early years, he was a heavy kind of sleeper, and once he was down he was down till the rooster. Harbor never heard us, I guess, and no one else did, either. We were charmed in some way: just me and Castle in a private world, beneath the blankets, with only the dimmest glow of moonlight in there with us, like we were somewhere under the sea.
There were certainly many of those nights when I did not care to be woke. By the end of the day I ached all over from tending that pile. Head aching from the sun, back aching from crouching, arms aching from the hauling: dung buckets, rumen buckets, hay, and straw. Raking it and raking it. Last thing I wanted sometimes was to be shook awake, feel all the ache of my body again while Castle whispered me words. His wide white eyes hovering in the dark above me were unwelcome as searchlights, sometimes, and I’d complain bitterly, whisper hotly at him to leave me be.
“Listen, honey,” he would say when I moaned. Never getting cross. Never even the littlest bit. Only one of us I knew who never did. “Listen, love. Deep nighttime is the only time we got. This is our opportunity.”
“Our opportunity.” My tongue was thick with exhaustion.
“That’s right. We crazy we don’t take it.”
“What about all these, then?” I blinked, gummy-eyed in my tiredness, looked around the room at the other ones.
“What about ’em?”
“They crazy?”
“No, no.” He wouldn’t ever say that. He would never talk down on any man. “They just—my love, you know, they not us.”
That always got me. It was nice to be us. I’d ease myself up on my aching elbow, blink furious till I came full awake, and listen to my good, good brother talk.
I was six months on the pile, a year, maybe, when I saw a pale gleam of yellow in there. You would see things, of course, in the pile. A lot of times. Cows’ll eat things, or goats will, and it’ll pass right in and through and they’ll never know. Stones; glass; once, I swear, a bedspring. Now this, though, now this, peeking and winking out from the pile, in among all the mud browns and dull vegetable reds: a tiny plastic sheath, smaller than a thumb and bright yellow like a bird’s beak. I nearly didn’t see it, but then I did, and it called to me and I lifted it and felt there was something inside.
I popped it out. A single piece of paper, folded and folded and folded again until it was a tiny hard rock. I hunched in the shadow of the pile, crouched like a goblin and unfolded the paper.
There were no words on it, only pictures, black figures with their hands raised in fists, tugging apart their chains. Black figures seizing guns from white figures, white figures with their heads cut off, perfect black teardrops of blood spurting up out of their necks. I couldn’t read the words, only the punctuation: a big red exclamation point. Exclamation points were on signs all over Bell’s Farm: don’t go in there, must wear masks in here, only overseers and staff may pass. I knew what exclamation points meant, and I knew about blood, and I did not know what the paper meant, but I stared at it and felt from it a queer power, a sparkling panic passing over me, like something melting.
I folded it back up carefully, jammed it back into the balloon how it had been, hid it in my cuff, and hurried back to my labor, busied my fingers and bent my back for the rest of the day. Someone fed that balloon to one of our cows. Someone did it on purpose. I was stunned by that purposefulness. I carried the paper in my cuff all day and brought it to Castle, and I gasped with grief later on, in the johns, when he told me he’d destroyed it.
“You gotta be crazy, boy” is what he said, and though his voice was still kind, I had never heard him say anything like it. It was in the supper line that I had slipped it to him sly, out of my cuff and into his palm. “Could you read it?” I asked him in the johns, and he didn’t say whether he had or not. He told me only that I was crazy. He told me he had taken that piece of paper and flushed it away and never to bring him nothing crazy like that again.