Uncontrollable Temptations (Tempted #3)(82)

Plans change.

Things go astray.

Time to change things up.

Keep moving.





Chapter Thirty-three




I was way past feeling the pangs of humiliation. There was no reason to hang onto your pride or self-esteem when you were about to die. It’s like going in for surgery, the planned kind, not the emergency one to graft your skin, prepping your body to look its best before you’re admitted, knowing the doctor and his surgical team will see every inch of you. You worry about controlling your bodily functions while you’re under anesthesia and if the doctor will see that scar? Oh my God, they’re going to see my ass. I should’ve gone to the tanning salon because a burnt ass is better than a white ass, right? And then just like that, you realize none of that shit matters anymore because you’re coding on the table and the doctor doesn’t give two fucks if you tanned before you were admitted, all he cares about is keeping you alive.

Shameless.

That’s the word.

I wasn’t shamed by my appearance, or the smell that radiated from me. It didn’t matter I had peed my pants more than twice or that my breath reeked. It didn’t matter that Blackie had thrown up, seized and nearly choked on his own vomit and was still laying in it. We had seen each other through the humiliation, becoming immune to the embarrassment and accepting that this was death at its worst.

I wasn’t even sure Blackie was breathing anymore. That last needle they injected into his neck was a sedative strong enough to put down an elephant, at least that’s what fuck-face one said to fuck-face two. I couldn’t wait to die because ghost Reina would haunt the shit out of those two assholes.

I tried not to think of Jack, tried not to think of what could’ve been, but every time I dozed off that’s all I dreamt of. The life that could’ve been. The first thing we would’ve done was repair those holes in the wall, no need to remember Jack Junior that way anymore. We’d honor him a different way. Maybe we’d go to a Yankee game every year on his birthday or maybe we’d sing happy birthday with a cake, but Jack wasn’t going to torture himself over his son’s death anymore. I’d teach Lacey how to cook and maybe we’d have dinner on a weekly basis. I would surprise Jack at his clubhouse the night’s duty called, waiting for him in his bed. He’d take me riding on his bike and I’d bake him cherry pies.

Maybe we’d get married or maybe we wouldn’t. It’s only a piece of paper anyway and I didn’t need a legal document that said I was Property of Parrish. I was his, and he was mine. I wonder if we’d have kids. I never thought about kids and Jack probably didn’t want anymore. Lacey was eighteen already, he was free to live any way he wanted to, his responsibilities were nearly over. Still, I couldn’t help but picture the little beauty we’d create together. She’d have my blonde hair and her daddy’s soulful eyes. Then, and only then, would Jack really know sunshine. I was just a fill-in for the little girl who’d one day bring him happiness and joy, something he never enjoyed with his other children because he was too consumed by his grief.

The door opened and this time I didn’t even lift my head to see which of the three stooges strolled passed the threshold of Hell. Did it really matter at this point?

“He’s alive,” fuck-face one declared, bending down to check Blackie’s pulse.

“Christ, it stinks in here,” Jimmy said.

That made me smile. Shameless.

Satan kneeled before me, lifting my chin with his finger and forced me to look into his eyes. If I had any saliva left in my mouth, I’d spit right in his face. Ghost Reina would haunt this fuck too.

“How you doing pretty girl, ready to give Jimmy some answers?” He asked, referring to himself in the first person. Weird.

“What do you want?” I hissed.

“I want you to tell me what you’re doing with Satan’s Knights. Are you like that pussy Danny and don’t know which side of the fence to play?” He demanded.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.

“They think I don’t know what they’re planning. They tried to pull the wool over my eyes but I know everything. I know that Danny was a lying cocksucker, using his last name to get in with G-Man, but I didn’t know he was an informant for the Satan’s Knights,” he said, as he paced in front of me. “I thought you were just some broad he was fucking when I saw your pictures, but I didn’t calculate you would run back to Jack and give him everything I worked so hard to destroy. It takes a lot of work to make a federal agent disappear. It takes even more work for his cases to vanish along with him,” he rambled.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t even know that Danny was a Fed, you moron. I thought he was some big shot investment banker. And I didn’t know he had a brother” I shrieked, sweat dripping from my eyelashes. The bastard must’ve turned the heat up again.

“A brother?” He asked, perplexed. “What does him having a brother have anything to do with this? Are you trying to fuck with my head, girl?”

“Jack and Danny are brothers,” I said, through clenched teeth. I watched as his eyes narrowed and his fists clench at his sides.

Shit, I said the wrong thing. Fuck! But in my own defense I’m pretty sure I was becoming delirious.