Uncontrollable Temptations (Tempted #3)(36)

My maker summoned me last night, brought me to his purgatory and locked me up with the demons that danced around shouting doubts and accusations at me. Infiltrating thoughts of Reina, my sunshine, being nothing but a fucking hail storm.

I stared at the table that centered the sanctuary where the Satan’s Knights congregated over church, my fingers closing tightly around the baseball bat I held in my hands. My knuckles turning white from my grip on the bat.

I was devastated when I found him, I lay down and wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go. I held on until I felt the heat.

I lifted the bat over my head and brought it down against the freshly restored table, the wood splintering against my calloused hands. I closed my eyes, pictured the memory she painted for me and for a second I was transported into her world—a tiny part of her world that she held on tightly to. She had found enough trust in a poor slob like me to share it. She gave me her truth and all I’ve given her is my dick and a shitload of lies.

Purgatory.

Maybe Hell.

Satan was beckoning, dragging me down.

Let me go, I pleaded with my maker.

Release me.

I swung the bat again. Danny’s face clouding my vision, Reina’s voice in one ear, Bianci’s in the other.

I could hear the sirens from a distance and the firemen calling out for survivors. I hadn’t had a chance to process that Danny was essentially a stranger to me, he was still the man I loved and he was gone. I couldn’t leave him.

Her voice smooth as silk as her words whispered against my ear, reminding me that Reina was a woman who laid down her life for the man she loved.

You need to find out if she’s involved in this shit before we go any further.

Anthony’s voice retaliated against Reina’s.

In the distance I heard a familiar voice scream out, and it took a moment for me to acknowledge I was the one screaming. My screams echoed against the walls and I struggled to follow the muffled sound.

Let me repent, I pleaded to my maker.

I slammed the bat against the table over and over again, my voice becoming more pronounced through the fog. Reina’s voice faded away, Anthony’s did too, and I was left with my own cries, clear as the light of day, begging for mercy.

“Release me and let me repent,” I cried, as I dropped the bat and fell into the chair at the head of the table. I covered my face with my hands and rocked forward, gasping for air.

“Jack…” Blackie cautioned, startling me. I lifted my head from my hands and stared at him with remorse. “Brother, what’re you doing?” He threaded carefully, bending down to pick up the bat and place it on the table.

“Wishing for sunshine,” I answered simply.

I lifted my gaze to the table, leaned forward and ran my hands along the freshly splintered wood—a result of my own hand. I stared at the gash I put into the table I fought so hard to hold on to. Damaged it was just like the man that sat at the head of it. We were both ruined.

“I’ll get one of the guys to sand it down,” he offered.

Of course he would, it’s what he did, time after time. I had no doubt he’d have this mess cleaned up, making it like it never happened and I’d go back to living life on pause, waiting for the darkness to come. It’ll come. It always does.

I gripped the edge of the table, using it for leverage as I stood on my wobbly legs, holding on until I could control my balance. I turned toward Blackie and spotted Bianci standing in the doorway, concern and shock painting his features.

“Didn’t know I was crazy did you, Bianci?” I laughed bitterly, as exhaustion weighed heavily on me. I ran my fingers through my hair as I stumbled through the room. Anthony moved to grab my arm but I moved out of his reach.

“You wanted to know if Reina was involved in this shit,” I accused.

“For your own sake,” he quickly replied.

“She’s not,” I clipped. “I didn’t even have to coax it out of her, she handed me her truth. She found Danny and instead of getting the fuck out of there she lay down beside him on the floor and wrapped her arms around him, hanging on to him until the bitter end. I don’t know what she knows about Danny’s life with the bureau or if she even knew he was involved with the likes of Jimmy and the G-Man but she doesn’t know I’m his brother. She’s not playing me and she’s not fucking lying,” I said, gripping the door knob as I turned and looked over my shoulder at the two men that stared at me blankly. “I’m the only one fucking running lies and playing games,” I declared, grimly.

It was ironic that I was defending Reina’s honor and credibility to them when I was the one doing all the two-timing, letting her believe I was just some stranger that was attracted to her when all the while I had a fucking file tucked in my nightstand, containing all I needed to know about the woman that had gotten under my skin.

“What are you even doing with her if it’s not about Danny?” Blackie asked.

I lifted my eyes to my brother’s and gave him my own truth, the one he knew long before I did. I was losing control, slipping deeper and deeper into Reina.

“I don’t know anymore,” I admitted, turning to Anthony. “Now, you asked me to find out if she was connected and I’m giving you my word she’s not. This shit with Reina, it dies now, not going to have either of you filling my head with shit I don’t need,” I stated. “You got a meeting to set up,” I added, piercing Bianci with a stare before diverting my eyes back to Blackie. “And you’ve got a table that needs fixing before we go sell our souls to a bunch of drug dealers.”