Unconditional (Masters and Mercenaries #5.5)(7)

What was she doing here?

She shook her head. “No. I don’t think so. I mean, I haven’t actually met him. Well, I met him but he wasn’t a Dom. Well, he was, but I didn’t know it. He was like an undercover Dom. Though I’m pretty sure that’s not his job. Undercover Dom. He’s not. He’s an investor guy. And a Dom.”

The dark-haired woman’s eyes widened and her lips curled up in a smile. “Oh, honey. Come here.”

She stepped up and pulled Ashley into a hug. Weird. She didn’t know the woman, but now she almost had her face in her boobs. And it was okay. Better really. She gave great hugs. Ashley hadn’t been hugged by an actual adult since her sister went on vacation. Tears threatened, but she finally wound her arms around the other woman and let herself settle in.

“There’s nothing to be scared of. Ian does a good job of picking the men he lets into the club. So if this guy tries anything on you, you just talk to Ian.”

“I would be happy to never talk to Ian again. He scares me.”

A chuckle went through the woman’s body as she pulled back. Closer now, it was easy to see she was older than she’d seemed at first. Very likely in her mid to late thirties. There were tiny lines around her eyes and something in the way she looked that spoke of long years of caring. “Alex, then. There’s nothing scary about that big teddy bear Dom. Or you can talk to me. I might be submissive here, but outside this club I can take on anyone. I’m Karina, by the way.”

“Ashley.” She had to get it together.

“You look lovely, Ashley, but now your mascara is a little runny. Come and sit down and let me fix it.”

Ashley sniffled a little and let Karina move her to one of the dressing room vanities. Behind her she could hear the pregnant ladies talking and laughing. There were two of them and they seemed to always be together when they were in Sanctum. Serena Dean-Miles and Avery O’Donnell were married to founding members. They were also pretty far along in their pregnancies, so they spent most of their nights at Sanctum in side-by-side loungers, talking away while their husbands helped run the club. Serena worked on her laptop and Avery knitted.

They were calm and peaceful and looked so happy.

“There’s a wistful expression. What’s that about?” Karina asked.

“I was just jealous. They seem so happy. I wasn’t happy when I was pregnant. I was scared out of my mind. I was ashamed. I was everything but happy.” She gasped a little. Why didn’t she ever think about what came out of her mouth? She just vomited up anything that went through her head. “I’m sorry. That was probably more than you wanted to know. You don’t have to help with my makeup. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

The older woman stopped and stared for a moment. “Do you want me to go away?”

The question startled her. “No. I wasn’t being rude. I just know I can be obnoxious sometimes.”

“Oh, you are going to get spanked. So you’re completely new to the lifestyle, huh?”

“Not exactly. My sister’s been in it for a long time. Her husband is a Dom. I’ve been working in the bar for a while.”

“Well, I’ve been on a case for the last couple of months. This is the first time I’ve been here in weeks. And you’re not obnoxious. I didn’t mean to be rude, either. When I asked you if you wanted me to go, I really was asking. Sometimes people try to get around saying what they really mean to say by phrasing it in more polite terms, like you being sure I must have something better to do. It could be your way of getting rid of a nosy woman who has zero sense of boundaries.”

Ashley shook her head. “No. No. I guess I just didn’t want to bother you.”

“Like I said, you’re in for a few spankings. Here, let me brush out your hair. You shouldn’t pull it back unless he asks you to. Most Doms I know love their submissives’ hair down.” Karina grabbed Ashley’s brush and with a practiced hand began smoothing it out of the fussy bun she’d put it in.

“Why will he spank me for that? For saying I’m obnoxious, I mean. I’m not being rude to anyone by saying that.”

“You’re being rude to yourself. Doms don’t like submissives to insult themselves. It’s more than just that. When you told me you were sure I had something better to do, you weren’t being honest. You have to say what you mean in this lifestyle, honey. Communication, trust, honesty, they’re very important here. It’s why I come here to relax. No one is going to lie to me. I spend all day with people lying to me. It becomes tiresome.”

“I wasn’t really lying. I guess I just didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say. I don’t even know what I wanted to say.”

Karina stared at her in the mirror. “Sure you did. Think about it.”

She forced herself to still, to really think for a second. What had she meant? She certainly hadn’t meant to drive Karina away. She was nice. So what should she say to someone nice? When she shoved aside all her self-doubting crap, what was really in her heart? “I guess I wanted to say thank you. For the hug. I needed it.”

“There you go. And you’re welcome. See? Isn’t that better than playing some game?”

It was actually. She had a running commentary of the world around her in her head twenty-four seven, but it wasn’t until she really thought that she realized what she wanted to say. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to people being so kind to me.” She sighed a little. “That feels really nice.”