Unconditional (Masters and Mercenaries #5.5)(23)

She blushed even though no one else was around. “You know, like when you kiss me.”

“Honey, you can kiss me anytime you like.”

He was obviously enjoying this. “I wasn’t talking about your lips. I was talking about when you kiss me, you know, down there.”

“Ashley.” His voice hit that deep, dark place that let her know he was losing patience. “You know my rules.”

Speak plainly. Honestly. He was big on communication. “I would like to perform oral sex on you.” She cringed. So bad. That was so not sexy. “I want to suck your cock, Sir. I want you to teach me how you like it. I want to learn how to please you that way.”

A long pause came over the line. Shit. Maybe he didn’t want that from her. A little panic threatened to overtake her. What if he was doing all the sex stuff to her because he thought it was a good control method and he didn’t really want her? He seemed to like touching her, but he never really allowed her to touch him. It was becoming a little hollow to receive pleasure and never give it back.

She wasn’t ready for it to end. She shouldn’t have pushed it. She should have let it go, let him do what he liked.

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

“You should be. I damn near just came in my pants. I have a meeting with an investment group in ten minutes. How would I explain that? You’re lucky I have control, pet, or you would be hustling your ass off to find me some slacks and get them downtown before my meeting.”

She laughed, relief flooding her. “So you don’t hate the idea.”

There was the slightest pause before he spoke again. “No. I just wanted it to be your idea. Ashley, I’m very attracted to you, but I don’t know how much I can offer you outside the D/s relationship. You need to understand that. I’ve been hesitant to take anything because I’m not ready to get really serious. You have other responsibilities.”

“You’re talking about Emily.”

He sighed. “I’m not father material, Ashley.”

She took a deep breath. Wow. That hurt more than she thought it would. “Then it’s good I’m not asking for that.”

“I’m not husband material either,” he said quickly, as though trying to cut her off at the pass.

“If you’re asking me to let you go, I will.” She didn’t want to be anyone’s burden. Never again.

“I’m asking you to be honest. I don’t want to hurt you. I like the hell out of you, but I know my limitations. I want you. I want you so badly I can barely breathe sometimes, but I can’t be more than your Dom.”

Maybe she didn’t need more than that. Most men didn’t want ready-made families. She didn’t have time to date. Keith was offering her the chance to explore, to spend a couple of hours a week where she wasn’t just Emily’s mom. She loved her daughter. Was it selfish to want this little thing for herself?

“I understand.” She knew what she wanted. She knew it wouldn’t last forever.

“Then I would love to teach you.” He sighed a little over the line and she could practically see that sexy smile of his. “I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight.”

“Me, too.”

“Be good the rest of the day,” he said. “And know that I’m thinking about you.”

He hung up and she sniffled a little. It wouldn’t last forever, but nothing did. At least he was honest with her. Trevor had said he loved her, asked her to marry him, and then dumped her the minute she became an inconvenience.

They had never talked. Not really. She could see that now. She’d had a crush on him, and her puppy love and deep need for affection had led her to make some really bad choices.

Was it a bad choice to keep going with a relationship that wouldn’t go anywhere outside of a sex club? She could say she understood all she liked, but she knew her limitations, too. She was falling for him. It was going to end in heartache.

And she would take it. She would take it because she wanted however long she had with him more than she wanted to protect herself.

Decision made.

She pulled her little sedan back out. Making decisions and being prepared to deal with the consequences, that was what made her a woman. When he walked away, she would move on. She would take everything he taught her and keep going.

She stopped at the light. It was time to pick her baby girl up from day care. It was time to spend a few hours cuddling her and playing with her and letting her know how loved she was. Emily would never question that her momma loved her.

Emily would have an unconventional family, but damn, she would be loved.

She turned on her blinker and caught sight of a familiar SUV. It was two cars back, as though it had prowled around and waited for her.

A chill went through her system. There was no way to deny it. Someone was stalking her.





Chapter Six





Keith pulled on his leathers, still thinking about the conversation he’d had with Ashley earlier. She was sticking to him. His mother used to say that some people stuck.

How long had it been since he’d spoken to his mom? Or his dad? Years had passed and he’d ignored their every plea. It had been constant at first, and now it was down to a trickle. He got a Christmas card, if it managed to make it through the forwarding process from his last move. He got a birthday card. A couple of times a year there were hang-ups on his voice mail, as though they just called in to listen to his message.