Unbreak My Heart (Rough Riders Legacy #1)(12)

“What did he want?”

“No idea.”

“Liar.”

“Fine. He wants to…talk.”

Lu refilled her glass. “About what?”

I blinked. “I don’t know.”

“Then maybe you ought to…talk to him and find out.”

“Or maybe I ought to skip a conversation with him and just stab myself in the heart to save him the trouble of doing it to me again.”

I felt Lu staring at me. “It still hurts that much? What happened between you two seven years ago?”

Yes. No. Shit. Maybe. I sighed. “When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”

“Then I’ll toss it out there that by not talking to him, you’re not allowing either of you a chance for closure. All you’re doing is holding a grudge, and that’s not like you.”

“I don’t think he wants closure, Lu.”

“Well, duh. The man followed you from Wyoming to Arizona.” She started singing Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Something.”

“Knock it off or I’ll punch you in the throat.”

She laughed. “Just calm your tits, girlfriend.” She slurped her drink. “Besides, why would that be a bad idea?”

I tipped my head back. The sky had taken on the white film that stretched across the horizon prior to sunset. Sometimes I missed seeing the stars. Stargazing had been one of Boone’s favorite things. And while he marveled at the stars, I marveled at him. My epic crush had been so embarrassingly obvious to him that I still blushed when I thought about it.

“Why are you dodging the question?” Lu prompted.

“I’m not. I’m just creating an ordered list of why that’s a bad idea. First of all, he’s only here for two weeks. Which means he’s looking for a fling. I can’t do that. Not with him.”

“Why not?”

“What if I fell for him again, knowing he’ll leave again? Been there, done that.” I had the scars to prove it—even if they were only visible to me.

“So just hanging out and rekindling your friendship…?”

I shook my head. “He wasn’t looking at me like he wanted to kick back and watch reruns of Two Angry Beavers.” The memory hit me with a wave of happy nostalgia I hadn’t allowed for a long time. We’d both laughed our asses off at that stupid cartoon. I’d never met anyone who got the offbeat humor the way he did. I’d never met any man who got me the way he did either.

“Maybe we should deal with your angry beaver.”

I faced her. “Omigod. I cannot believe you said that!”

Lu aimed her straw at me. “Yes, you can. Your dilemma is easy to solve.”

“Let me guess…your suggestion is that I f*ck him.”

“Yes.” She held up her hand to stop my automatic protest. “Just hear me out.”

Tempting to plug my ears and start singing “Never Gonna Get It” at the top of my lungs. Not that Lu would understand the reference; my eclectic taste in music baffled her as much as my penchant for watching weird cartoons.

“You’ve always wondered what sex would be like with him.”

“And that is exactly why I shouldn’t do it.”

“You are a ‘one and done’ chick anyway. Why would it be different with him?”

“It just would be,” I said stubbornly.

“Because you’re afraid he’d be rubbish in bed?”

“Been watching reruns of Absolutely Fabulous again, have you, dahling?” I said in my best British accent.

“Eh, sod off, ye bloody wanker.” She stirred her drink. “I’m serious, S.”

“So am I. What if he’s like…unbelievable in bed? Then I’d be left wanting more”—again—“and I’d worry he just f*cked me because he always wondered what sex would be like with me.” I shook my head and didn’t voice my other concern; what if Boone was disappointed in my skills between the sheets? That’d be another blow I might not recover from. “It’s better to wonder and leave it at that. Can we please drop it now?”

She sighed dramatically. “You are such a ballbuster when you’ve got a financial spreadsheet in front of you. But with personal stuff? I never would’ve pegged you as such a chickenshit, McKay.”

I slurped my drink. “Sure you have.”

“When?” Lu demanded.

“Spring break when I refused to get a * Galore tattoo with you.”

“Which makes zero sense since that summer you got that”—she gestured wildly—“brand thingy on your hip. * Galore? Way more meaningful.”

I’d succumbed to my cousin Keely’s badgering and gotten inked with the official McKay cattle brand. “I told you. It’s a family thing.”

“Nice try at changing the subject, but back to you throwing Boone a bone.”

“Awesome alliteration, Baby Spice. I thought we were dropping this.”

“Not until I get my point across.” She tapped her finger on the rim of her cup. “He wants the V, you want the D, so you need to do this. Fuck him one time and get him out of your system. Then you can move on. That way it’ll never get to the stage that his dick isn’t doing it for you anymore and there’s no risk for the burn-out factor.”