Unbeautifully (Undeniable, #2)(46)
“Don’t you dare blame her for anything!” Kami hissed.
“See!” Cox roared. “You’re always sidin’ with her! You’d jump off a f*ckin’ bridge if she did!”
“Yes, I would!” Kami shrieked. “Did you actually think there was a chance I’d choose some hot Cuban piece of ass over my Evie?”
“PUERTO RICAN!”
While they were busy screaming at each other, Eva was able to slip from the living room unnoticed and head down the hall toward Devin’s playroom. She found both kids on the couch, sharing a handheld video game and a pair of circumaural headphones stretched out over top of both their heads. She paused in the doorway, watching them, unable to stop the memory that assaulted her…
On top of a picnic table, she and Frankie were sitting side by side sharing a pair of earbuds. Her Discman was wedged between them, and their heads were pressed together while they rocked out to Led Zeppelin’s “Dazed and Confused.” She had her arm slung over Frankie’s broad shoulders, his hand was sliding up and down her thigh, his fingers tapping out the beat of the song.
“Miss Fox?”
Eva blinked at Devin’s nanny, Kajika.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“Sorry,” Eva murmured, shaking herself out of the memory. “Just thinking.”
“We can learn much from children,” Kajika said, smiling at Devin and Ivy. “They view the world as it is, innocent and waiting for them, like a playground ready to be explored.”
“Yes,” Eva whispered, staring at her daughter. “They do.”
“Can I share something my grandfather once told me, Miss Fox?” Kajika quietly asked.
Eva nodded.
“There is an old story passed down through the generations of a Native American grandfather counseling his young grandson, telling him that he has two wolves living inside of him, constantly fighting each other for dominance. One is the wolf of peace, love, and kindness. The other represents fear, greed, and hatred. The boy asks, ‘Which wolf will win, Grandfather?’ and the wise old man replies, ‘Whichever one I feed.’?”
Eva stared at her, wondering what the woman was talking about.
“I’m sorry,” Eva said, “but I don’t under—”
“May I be frank?” Kajika asked.
“Of course.”
“It’s no secret you are in pain; it is also no secret why. Not in this house.”
Eva snorted. Nothing was secret in Cox and Kami’s house. Both of their neighbors, each a mile away in opposite directions, could hear the two of them screaming at each other. Eva was surprised Kajika had stayed as long as she had.
“You’re afraid,” she continued. “And if I know it, he does too.”
He being Deuce, Eva guessed.
“And your fear is perpetuating his, a vicious cycle that unless stopped will do nothing but continue to grow. Before you know it, you will no longer know each other.”
Kajika’s dark eyes looked kindly upon her. “You must feed the wolf of peace some love before it is too late.”
Eva said nothing; there was nothing to say. Kajika was right. She was afraid. Afraid and ready to run, just as she’d always done where Deuce and she were concerned.
After planting a kiss on Devin’s cheek and gathering up Ivy, Eva gave Kajika a small smile and headed outside.
Once she and Ivy were settled inside her truck, she called Deuce back.
He answered after only one ring. “Where you at?”
She swallowed hard. “Still at Kami’s.”
He cleared his throat, something he never did. He was hesitating. Her stomach dropping with dread, Eva held her breath and waited for what would come next.
“You headed home?”
“Do you really want me to?” she whispered.
“Yeah,” he said gruffly. “I do.”
Don’t be afraid, she reminded herself. Don’t be afraid. But she couldn’t help it. She was terrified of what might happen, but more so of what might not happen.
“Deuce—”
“Just do it, Eva. We gotta talk.”
Biting her lip, she looked out the window, across the beautifully manicured field that constituted Cox and Kami’s front yard. She couldn’t handle another failed attempt at being together. It would break her.
She took a deep breath. “Okay,” she whispered. She had barely gotten the word out before he hung up.
“Mama?”
Shoving her phone in her purse, she glanced over at her daughter. “Yeah, baby?”
“You sad?”
Eva swiped at the tears running down her cheeks.
“Just a little bit, baby,” she whispered, leaning over the bench seat to place a kiss on her daughter’s chubby, dimpled cheek, then ran her fingers through her tight blonde curls. “But mama’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
With a heavy sigh, she put the truck in gear and headed home.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Twisting the doorknob, Deuce pushed open the side door and walked inside the house. Closing the door softly behind him, he locked it, set the alarm, kicked off his boots, and walked quietly through the dark kitchen, headed for the stairs.
He found Eva on his side of the bed, her body curled around his pillow, sound asleep. He stared down at her for several moments, his hand hovering just over her head, wanting so badly just to touch her, to feel her again without thinking about…