Unbeautifully (Undeniable, #2)(25)

“I need to change,” I muttered, quickly turning around before he had the chance to see my embarrassment.

I had one foot on the bottom stair when Ripper’s large, warm hand wrapped around my bicep and squeezed gently.

“We should talk,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” I whispered as tears unexpectedly formed. I knew what was coming and I didn’t want to hear it. The past year of my life had been nothing but one disappointment after another and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. The night at the lake had broken the seemingly never-ending cycle of letdowns. I’d felt free and happy and young again for the first time in a long time, and now he was going to ruin it.

I hated that Ripper had that ability. That somehow what had happened between us had given him power over my emotions. I wanted to take it back, I wanted to not care, but more than that, I wanted to understand why I did care so much.

“Hey,” he muttered, roughly turning me around to face him. “Why the f*ck are you cryin’?”

Feeling pathetic, I blinked up at him through blurry eyes. “I hate lockdown,” I mumbled.

His brow rose. “You’re cryin’ ’cause you hate lockdown?”

Oh my god, this was the single most horrible conversation I’d ever had in my entire life. I wanted the floor to open up and suck me into another dimension. A dimension where Ripper didn’t exist.

“Yes,” I said, trying to pull away from his hold on me but his grip only tightened.

“Danny, f*ckin’ talk to me,” he said gruffly. “I’m goin’ crazy not knowin’ what the f*ck is goin’ on.”

I gaped up at him. He was what? Crazy? Why? And what did that mean? Crazy as in he wished it never happened? Or crazy because he wanted it to happen again? Or crazy because—

“Danny!” he yelled, shaking me. “You on drugs?”

I snapped back to the present. “No. I was thinking.”

“Care to share?” he growled.

No, I did not.

“No.”

“No? Are you f*ckin’ kiddin’ me?” He glared down at me. “First you’re trickin’ me into f*ckin’ you and then you’re leavin’ me in the dark, scared shitless that your old man is gonna be breakin’ down my f*ckin’ door any goddamned second, and now you’re burstin’ into tears and still not tellin’ me what the motherf*ck is goin’ on!”

My mouth fell open. Did he actually just say that? Did he seriously just say that I—

“Tricked you!” I screamed, yanking out of his grip and scrambling backward up the stairs, slapping at his hand as he tried to grab for me again. “You dragged me out of the lake!”

“Only ’cause you were f*ckin’ beggin’ for it!” he yelled.

My mind raced to keep up with my quickly rising anger. Ripper, it seemed, had a knack for stripping me of all self-control, leaving me unable to manage my thoughts in his presence both sexually and emotionally. He somehow had the ability to bring out the very worst in me and magnify it times a million, leaving me irrational, saying and doing things I normally wouldn’t.

It was completely and totally unfair.

“You are insane!” I screamed. “Just because you regret it doesn’t mean you have to put all the blame on me!”

He was on me before I had the chance to blink, forcing me into a sitting position on the stairs and slapping a hand down on either side of me. He leaned down until our noses were practically touching.

“Baby,” he growled. “I ain’t puttin’ all the blame on you. I’m blamin’ that killer f*ckin’ body and beautiful as f*ck face, too.”

I opened my mouth but quickly closed it. What did someone say to that, anyway? Thank you? Screw you? Not that I could speak. I was too busy concentrating on the proximity of our bodies, touching in some places, nearly touching in others, and before I knew what I was doing, I was arching up and pushing myself against him. Almost instantly he shot away from me, muttering curses and running his hands wildly through his unbound hair.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he said through his teeth, glaring down at me.

My face heated. Could this get any worse? I didn’t think so.

“That’s what that bikini bullshit was all about, yeah? You were tryin’ for me again, weren’t you. You that hard up for cock, Danny? You coulda just said something. You already know, baby, I ain’t hard to get.”

Apparently it could get worse. As humiliation flooded me, tears burned in my eyes. “Could you be any more disgusting?” I said bitterly.

“Yeah,” he shot back. “I could. So why don’t you clue me in as to why a girl like you is tryin’ for a disgusting f*ck like me?”

“Because I liked it!” I shouted, raising my arms in frustration. “Because up until a minute ago when you decided to be a total jerk, I liked you too!”

Ripper went from shifting irritably to standing completely still. “You liked me,” he repeated dumbly.

“Not anymore!” I yelled, jumping to my feet. “Now I hate you!”

He blinked and I bit down on my bottom lip, angry at myself for putting my feelings out there, knowing he was going to stomp all over them.

“Say something,” I whispered. “Please.”