Unattainable (Undeniable, #3)(28)
Ivy came skidding back through the kitchen, Hawk’s booted feet pounding the linoleum behind her. Surprisingly he was freshly shaven, his mohawk trimmed, and not wearing his usual leathers but instead a clean pair of jeans, a plain black T-shirt, and his Horsemen cut.
“Brothers,” he said gruffly, nodding toward Cage and Cox, then Ripper. He stopped next to Deuce and placed his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Prez,” he said, his voice less stony, his face suddenly full of emotion and something else I couldn’t quite place.
I knew there was deep history there. Deuce had scooped Hawk off the streets decades ago, the same as he had with Cox, Ripper, and Dirty, and the bond between them all was more of a father/son one than Deuce had with his own son.
I glanced at Cage, watched him see the silent exchange of respect between the two men, watched him try to steel his expression before he let the hurt show, but I’d known him too long. I had always had my eyes on him and knew every nuance of his face, what every twitch or appearing line meant.
I was still staring at Cage the way I’d always stared at him, everyone else forgotten, when a pair of thick fingers snapped in front of my face. I blinked, my eyes refocused, and found everyone around the table staring back at me, Cage included. And Danny was smirking at me. Fucking bitch.
My face hot with embarrassment, I glanced up to the owner of the fingers.
“How’s your mom?” Hawk asked while scooping Christopher off the chair and into his arms.
“None of your business,” I snapped. Hawk’s eyes hardened.
“Tegen,” he said quietly, his tone hard. “I get it, baby, I do. You f*ckin’ hate me, you hate us all, and I don’t blame you. If that was my mama who’d gotten shot, I’d be hatin’ on everyone too, but she’s the mother of my son and I gotta right to know how the f*ck she’s doin’.”
I reacted. Jumped up, shoved my plate forward, pushed my chair backward, and got up in Hawk’s personal space. I didn’t even come close to his height or stature but I’d already been on the verge of a nervous breakdown before he’d shown up, and Hawk had only added fuel to the burning fire.
“Fuck you!” I spat. “You ruined her! You ruined me! My own mother doesn’t even know who I am!”
In Hawk’s arms, Christopher’s face fell and his bottom lip quivered but there was no stopping me once I started. Not even I knew how to accomplish that.
“Tegen!” Deuce bellowed.
“You and Jase!” I screamed, ignoring Deuce and shoving my finger into Hawk’s hard chest. “You both destroyed her, along with this f*cking club full of drug dealers and murderers!”
Christopher burst into tears, followed closely by Harley, and feeling like shit, damn near tears myself, I spun away from Hawk and ran from the room into the foyer, pausing while I desperately tried to remember where I’d left my backpack. Cursing myself and my never-ending stupid emotional breakdowns, I ran through the living room into the family room, and locked on my bag.
Snatching it up off a beat-up old leather recliner, I turned to run, heading straight through the front door and to my mother’s car, which would take me far, far away from this house full of awful people who did nothing but hurt one another and destroy lives.
Except I didn’t get very far. I turned to run and instead of running, I smacked into a wall of muscle. Two arms curled around me, one hand pressed firmly against the small of my back and the other slid up into my hair, tightly fisting a handful of dreads.
The smell. I knew it instantly. I’d never forgotten it. Sweat and leather, cigarettes and exhaust fumes, and…Cage.
My stupid heart swelled, my body warmed and—
Oh, f*cking shit, no.
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed, pulling away, nearly ripping several of my dreads out in my pathetic attempt to dislodge him.
“Shut up,” he growled, yanking me back up against him. “You’ve got all those kids back there cryin’ their eyes out. Yeah, everyone knows you’re hurtin’, Teacup, but…”
Teacup.
Why would he still call me that after all these years, after everything that had happened? I hated it. I hated it so much. All it did was remind me of when we were kids and he’d been so sweet to me, paying attention to me when no one else would.
“Don’t call me that!” I continued to struggle, doing nothing but hurting myself trying to get free.
“What the f*ck is wrong with you?” he hissed, half walking, half dragging me back through the living room while I carried on my pointless struggles.
“What’s wrong with me?” I yelled, my renewed anger drying my tears, shielding my emotions from the one person on earth who had the ability to tear them down in an instant if I weren’t careful. “You’re what’s f*cking wrong with me! Your mess of a club is what’s wrong with me!”
Cursing, Cage slammed my body hard up against the hall closet. Grabbing the sides of my face, he forced me to look up at him. Glaring down at me, his teeth clenched, he bent down, bringing us nearly nose to nose.
“Would you please just f*ck off!” I hissed.
“Don’t say another motherf*ckin’ word,” he growled. “Time to f*ckin’ listen, you mouthy little bitch.”
“Why the f*ck would I listen to you?”
“Because!” he roared and spittle flew in my face. “It’s about damn time you listened to someone! It’s been years, babe, f*ckin’ YEARS that you’ve been walkin’ around life with a chip on your shoulder. You been takin’ it out on everyone around you, shittin’ on the entire club, shittin’ on your mom, makin’ everyone feel even worse than they already do, when you and I both know this shit ain’t even about your f*ckin’ mom and it’s about f*ckin’ time you owned up to your own bullshit!”