Ultimate Weapon (McClouds & Friends #6)(26)

The sharp, instinctive gesture Tam made to ward off evil surprised her. One of her great-grandmother’s tics. One of the few things she remembered about the old woman. She’d died when Tam was small.

Strange. The man was stone dead, after all. No doubts about it. She’d seen pretty much every last drop of his heart’s blood decorating the walls, thanks to Erin’s amazing courage under fire. Which continued to surprise her years later. Girl nerds. You never knew.

“You can’t let him poison that for you forever.” There was a tight, vibrating intensity in Erin’s voice. “It’s just not right.”

Brittle laughter would have been the best response, but Tam’s chest was screwed too tight to move. “There is no ‘that’ for me, Erin.”

“But you can’t just shut it off like a faucet and—”

“I can do whatever the f*ck I want. My choice.”

The edge in Tam’s voice put a hot flush of hurt embarrassment on Erin’s face. She sprang up and turned her back, sipping her coffee as she stared out the window into the forest. The children’s laughter and Rosalia’s low voice murmuring encouragements in Portuguese floated in.

Tam stared into her coffee. Angry for feeling guilty. Guilty for feeling angry. What a crock of pointless shit this was. Who needed it.

“I guess I should go.” Erin’s voice was tight. “It’s almost naptime for Kev, and I should take advantage of—”

“Why do you put up with me, Erin?” Tam asked abruptly.

Erin was startled into turning. “Huh?”

“I’m a rude, abrasive bitch. That’s not likely to change, ever,” Tam said, her voice stony. “So why? Why do you bother?”

Erin opened and closed her mouth a few times. “I—I—”

“Is it pity? Because I don’t need pity.”

“You certainly don’t deserve it,” Erin observed tartly, crossing her arms beneath her ample bosom. “But you did save my life, you know. And my husband’s life. That makes up for a few behavioral quirks.”

“You saved mine right back, so we’re even,” Tam said. “And besides, it was an accident. I wasn’t in that shithole with any heroic plans to save anybody. I just wanted to wipe out that psycho son of a bitch, get my revenge, and save my own skin. You owe me nothing. So why?”

Erin shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said slowly. “It’s true. You’re awful. You’re the rudest, most irritating, pain-in-the-ass friend I’ve ever had, or even imagined having. But you’ll also race off at the drop of a pin and risk your life to save a bunch of helpless little kids from organ thieves. That kind of behavior racks up big points fast.”

Tam made a derisive sound. “Oh, horseshit. That was just for fun. I was bored, OK? I needed some action.”

“Oh, yeah. Right. Bored,” Erin scoffed. “You are so full of shit. So you took Rachel on because you were bored?”

Tam choked on her coffee. “No, I took Rachel on because I was insane,” she muttered. “But I want to know, Erin. You’ve got Connor. Margot and Raine and Liv now, too. They’re so much nicer. You don’t need me, for anything. So why the hell do you bother with me?”

Erin seemed to grow five inches. Her face glowed hot pink with anger. “You know what I think?” Her voice rang. “I think you should see a talented shrink since you don’t have the guts to talk to your friends about whatever godawful bug is up your ass. I’ve seen this before. You try to drive everyone away so that the view outside matches the view inside. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll eat a worm. Well, f*ck that, Tam. And f*ck you, too. I’m sick of it.”

Tam blinked, startled into fascinated silence. It was fun to get Erin worked into a lather. She was slow to start, but once she got going, watch out. Blood spattered the walls, left and right. Wow.

“You cannot afford that self-indulgent, scorched earth bullshit anymore,” Erin fumed on. “You’ve got a child! Kids need family! Lots of it! Community. Aunts, uncles, cousins. And so do you, whether you’ll admit it or not, you stubborn, snotty bitch! So just grow up already!”

Tam let out a low whistle, impressed. “Whoo-hoo. Feisty.”

“Do not condescend to me. You know what else? We’re it, whether we like it or not. We’ve been through some bad shit together, and that makes you family. Congratulations, you get to be the scary aunt that everybody’s afraid of. Every family’s got one.”

“I could change my name, go into hiding,” Tam mused.

“Oh, shut up,” Erin snapped. “I’ve had enough of your crap.”

Tam’s mouth twitched. “You’re cute when you’re mad,” she murmured throatily. “Rosy glow, heaving bosom…”

Erin slammed her cup onto the table. “Don’t even start. You can’t convince me that you’re a lesbian, either, so don’t jerk me around.”

Tam hid her smile in her coffee. “Aw, come on. It keeps ’em guessing. Gives me more space.”

“You have plenty of space,” Erin snapped. “And we’re tired of guessing.”

Tam suddenly thought to peek over at the door, where Rosalia’s wide-eyed fascination suggested that her English comprehension far outstripped her verbal skills. Rosalia’s gaze slid away guiltily, and she nudged the kids deeper into the living room.