Trust(47)

“No.” She put a hand over his face and pushed.

He made a weird kind of “ugh” sound and retreated into the night.

“You were the one who wanted to get your v-card punched,” she said calmly. “But it’s totally up to you, Edie. You’re in control.”

More beer. “Remind me. What was my reasoning again?”

Holding up her hand, she ticked off her fingers one by one. “It can be messy, painful, potentially embarrassing. And you just want to get it over and done with so when you meet someone you want to be in a relationship with, which could be years from now, you’ll be equals.”

“Right, that makes sense.” I nodded. “The logic is sound.”

“Plus, if he really does know what he’s doing, there should be an orgasm in it for you. Win! But, it’s also another first you wanted to experience in case you somehow die tomorrow in a bizarre accident,” she said. “Caught in a stampede of runaway llamas. Mauled by a pack of rabid shih tzu. That sort of thing.”

“You mock me, but it could happen.” I snapped my fingers. “Just like that you’re gone, dead. The end.”

“All right, my morbid friend. Whatever you say.” She took my beer, finishing it off. “Bump into him as you go get a new drink. Talk to him—I hear guys like that.”

My feet stayed put.

“Or not. You’re sleeping over at my place, so you’ve got the whole night,” she said. “You can always decide later. No pressure.”

“No pressure.” Apart from the hand holding down my heart, fingers slowly squeezing. I would not have a panic attack. I would not freak out.

“You could wait a little longer, magically meet someone wonderful and want him to be your first.” Hang shrugged. “You just never know. You’ve only been at the school a couple of weeks.”

“True.”

“Or maybe that guy over there’s the one and you’ll fall in love, get married after college, and have babies.” A dreamy smile appeared on Hang’s face. “Then you’ll be able to tell everyone you married your high school sweetheart.”

“Mm.”

“And you’ll only ever have sex with one person.”

I frowned.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m not so sure that’s a great option after all. Forever is a long time.”

“I am only seventeen, so me neither. Though we could be wrong.”

“We could be,” she agreed. “Let’s just concentrate on getting you de-virginized and save the happy-ever-after for another time.”

“I think that would be best.”

Hang had dated a senior last year. They’d broken up when he went away to college. Her card had long since been punched in the name of love.

“Your long blond hair is shiny, your winged eyeliner is perfect, your boots are cool, and I really do like that dress you’re wearing,” she said, giving me the once-over.

“Thanks.” I straightened the black cotton skirt. “Got to love a good maxi.”

“True.”

“It’s just a meaningless bit of skin with a lame name,” I said, shoulders back, boobs out, standing tall. “I don’t need it.”

“No you do not.” Hang shoved the empty beer cup into my hand, face serious. “Go hard. Slay. Or do whatever you’re comfortable with, you know. It’s your body and your choice and I respect that.”

“I’m glad we’re friends.” With an arm around her shoulders, I gave her a half-hug. Her lips parted in surprise. Guess me showing affection didn’t happen often. Mom wasn’t particularly touchy-feely either, generally.

“Me too,” she said, eyes misty.

No more hesitating. Empty Solo cup in hand, I headed into the crowd. My every thought revolved around what the hell to say to him. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I almost ran the boy down.

“Oh,” I said, stopping suddenly, standing much closer to him than intended. “Sorry. I should have been watching where I was going.”

The friends at his side kept on talking. But he turned to me, looking at the cup. “You’re a woman on a mission.”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” I forced a grin. “I’m Edie.”

“Duncan.” His gaze was warm, friendly. “We’ve got Trig together, right?”

“That’s right.”

We were about the same height, but his arms were thick with muscles. Clearly, he worked out. A dusting of freckles fell across his nose. Up close, he was cuter than ever. “How are you liking the school?”

“Much better than my last.”

“Good. Here, let me help you with that drink.”

“Thanks.” I handed him my cup and he forged a path through all the people. Frequently, he’d look back at me to smile. Tonight was the night. Something about it just seemed right, despite the nerves running riot through me.

Quite a few people watched us; I have no idea why. One of the dudes gathered around the keg slapped Duncan on the back while another said “hi.” Beer flowed, and he filled my cup to the brim before passing it back and getting his own. The cold beer cooled my hand for only a minute before John took the cup, spilling the contents out on the grass.