Truly, Madly, Whiskey(71)
“Ouch. That poor girl.” Crystal took it as a sign, and steeled herself to come clean to Gemma, at least about her supposed long list of one-night stands. “I’m glad we have the afternoon off. I wanted to talk to you.”
Gemma’s face grew serious. “I think I know what you want to say.”
“You know?” Her heart sank. Could Bear have said something to Tru and he told Gemma? She’d cleaned out a dresser drawer for him to keep a few things at her apartment, and he’d done the same for her at his house. They’d also stocked his house with kitty paraphernalia, because where they slept, so did their little purring girl. Except for the nights when Bear bartended, they were practically living together. He and Tru could have gotten to talking about how much things had changed and something about her past might have slipped out. Although Bear was so careful about what had happened, she couldn’t imagine him making that mistake.
“Well, I assumed,” she said with a smile. “You and Bear really have been hooking up for longer than you wanted me to believe, right? I know you said that wasn’t the case, but I’ve been over this so many times, and every time I see you two together, it feels like there’s a lot more there.”
“Nope.” She took Gemma’s hand and led her to the table in the back of the store. “Sit.”
“Uh-oh,” Gemma said as she sat down. “Crys, are you pregnant?”
“If only it were that simple.” She sat across from Gemma. “You know all those times I said I was hooking up with guys?”
“You’re pregnant and you don’t know who the father is? Ohmygod.” Gemma covered her mouth with her hand.
“Stop. I’m not pregnant. And up until last week, there would be no way for me to be pregnant.” She was so nervous her words came too fast and too harsh, but she couldn’t stop them. “I never had those one-night stands. I never had most of the dates, either.”
“Come on,” Gemma said with a half-smile, half-confused expression. “It’s not like I’m going to tell Bear. Geez, is that why you’ve been looking so worried for the past few weeks? You’re afraid I’ll tell him about your trysts?”
Crystal rose to her feet and paced. “No, Gemma. I’ve never slept with anyone except Bear since before I left college.”
“What?” Gemma pushed to her feet. “Why would you lie about that?”
The hurt and confusion in her eyes stopped Crystal cold. She’d only wanted to tell her about the fake hookups, but it was unfair to try to skirt around the truth. She should have waited until after the wedding, but there was no turning back now.
“Because I was afraid. When I met you I had been in Peaceful Harbor for only a few weeks, and I was afraid to tell you about my past.” She turned away, crossing her arms over her chest, as emotions swamped her. “I was afraid of my past.”
“Crystal,” Gemma said gently. “I don’t understand.” She came to her side, as empathetic as ever, which made it that much harder for Crystal to tell her the truth.
“What happened that you were afraid to tell me?” Gemma asked.
“Not you specifically. Anyone.” She wrung her hands together, trying to fight her mounting panic. This anxiety had nothing to do with what she had to reveal and everything to do with how hurt Gemma would be when she realized how much Crystal had kept from her. When she met Gemma’s gaze, tears filled her eyes.
“I’m sorry. You’re my best friend in the world, and I never should have lied to you about anything.”
Gemma reached for her hand. “Crystal, what happened? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry. How can I help?”
Her compassion only made Crystal cry harder. “I’m not crying because of what happened. Or maybe I am a little. I just hate that I lied to you. You, of all people. You know what it’s like to have a messed-up family, and you loved me even when I was bitchy and you thought I was sleeping around.” She laughed through her tears, because the whole thing was crazy. Who pretended to sleep around?
The answer stung as much as the lies. The girl who doesn’t want to get close to anyone.
Gemma’s arms came around her. “Of course I love you. You’re my best friend.”
“Not ‘of course.’” She pulled back and swiped at her tears. “I’ve never had a friend like you before. And I was so afraid of the bottom dropping out from under me at any second, I screwed up. I lied to you about guys who never even existed. And now I can’t stop crying because I kept the rest of it from you, which is also screwed up, because that’s my right. But it still f*cking hurts because you’ve shared everything with me and I should have trusted you with it.” She squared her shoulders, desperately trying to escape the pain swelling inside her.
“I don’t care about guys who never existed,” Gemma said carefully. “I care about you. What happened?”
“Stop being so understanding!” She squeezed Gemma’s hand and smiled through her tears. “Just tell me you’re angry with me and get it over with.”
“Fine, yes. I’m a little hurt. Who wouldn’t be? We’ve been through so much together. But you’re crying, and I know a little about perspective, so whatever you were afraid to tell me, I’m sure it outweighs my stupid hurt feelings. And if it doesn’t? Then I’ll give you a hard time.” Between Gemma’s childhood and Tru’s history, she had enough perspective for a hundred people.