Trial By Fire (Going Down in Flames #3)(25)

“Is that it?” Bryn asked. “Don’t you have anything else to say?” The next words out of his mouth better be an apology, or she was going to lose it and roast him.

“The way the bond works, I’m not sure I can trust your feelings for me.”

Smoke shot from her nostrils. “What does that mean? Where does that leave us?”

He reached up to rub his forehead. “I don’t know.”

Seriously? Whatever. “Let me know when you’ve figured out what you want.” She willed her body to stand up and walk away, but hope rooted her to the spot. If she sat there, maybe he’d say what she needed to hear.

“Bryn, I’m sorry.”

Thank God. Relief washed over her. She leaned toward him.

“I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what, exactly?”

He stood and paced the length of the coffee table. Back and forth he went as she waited for him to speak. “What’s going on between us…the bond…us being romantically involved…I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

She shot to her feet. “What?”

He held a hand out to signal she should stop talking. “I need time to think. It would be best if we went our separate ways for a bit. I’m going to bed.” And with that, he headed into his bedroom and slammed the door.

Shocked, Bryn stared after him. This could not be happening. He was supposed to be her rock. He was her knight. And she still had no idea what the hell he meant. Should she go pound on his door until he answered her questions? When he said they should go their separate ways, he’d meant he needed time to think alone. Or did he mean he didn’t want to be romantically involved anymore? That would suck, but even if he never wanted to kiss her again, he still wanted to be her knight, no matter what, right?

What if he meant he didn’t want to be her knight anymore? That idea had her stomach twisting into knots. Did he want to be released from their bond? Is that what he meant? If she released him and they kissed and they were still attracted to each other, would that set his mind at ease?

And if she ended the bond, and he didn’t want to be her knight anymore, then what would she do?

Damn it. What was wrong with her? She was not some emotional female, some weak girl who had to have a man in her life. She would not stress over another guy who couldn’t figure out what the hell he wanted. She was better than that, stronger than that. It had to be the bond making her feel all clingy and screwing with her head.

Maybe by morning, Valmont would have his head on straight. Moron. And if he came up with a really good apology maybe she’d forgive him. Right now she couldn’t decide if she wanted to kiss him or kick his ass. She headed into bed, changed into comfy yoga pants and a tank top, brushed her teeth, and gave herself a pep talk in the mirror. “It will all be okay. No matter what happens. It will be okay.”

She collapsed on the bed and closed her eyes, but sleep didn’t come. She tried to focus on other things. A history paper was due soon. What did she want to write about? Her brain refused to play along. All she could think about was Valmont. What if he didn’t want to be her knight anymore? What if he wanted his normal life back? Could she fault him for that? Not really. So… If he didn’t want to be her knight anymore, she’d deal with it. She might need some therapy and some mood-altering drugs, but it would be okay.

She stared at the ceiling. Sleep eluded her, but a slow burning sensation built inside her gut. The fire in her body felt like it was closer to the surface of her skin, or like she had a fever. Great. Now she felt sweaty and itchy. Maybe a shower would help, but that seemed like too much effort. If she could just freaking fall asleep.

After an hour of tossing and scratching, she dragged herself into the bathroom and took a shower. All her muscles ached. Was she coming down with some sort of flu? And why did her skin itch so badly? Was she having some sort of allergic reaction? Did her bad luck know no bounds?

She slathered on lotion, dressed in a different tank top and yoga pants, and crawled back into bed. Now she was freezing. Chilled and shivering, she pulled the covers up around her neck and prayed for sleep.

…

Her alarm was going off, and she didn’t care. Her heart hammered in her chest as the piano music became louder and more discordant, performing its function of increasing her stress level by encouraging her to rise and shine. She didn’t care about classes or going to breakfast or shutting off the annoying alarm. The rest of the world and all its occupants could move along without her for one day. She planned on staying right where she was, curled up under the covers until she felt like her normal self. Attending classes when she felt like crap was not on her agenda.

Her door flew open. Valmont stalked across the room and smacked the top of the alarm. “I hate those things. Why didn’t you turn yours off?” His eyes met hers, and he paled. “Bryn, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t have it in her to talk about their bizarre relationship and the you-don’t-really-care-about-me-it’s-just-the-bond issue right now. “Go away.” All she wanted to do was sleep until she was over this stupid flu.

He rushed to her side. “Bryn, do you feel all right?”

Rolling away from him, she closed her eyes. “No. I’m sick. Leave me alone.”

He touched her forehead. “You’re burning up. I’m calling a medic.”