Tremble (Denazen #3)(46)
“Here,” Kale said, handing me the knife and lighter as he settled into one of the seats at the back of the car. He pulled off his jacket, followed by his T-shirt, and set them down on the bench beside him. “Sterilize it with the lighter before you make the first cut.”
It was after 3 a.m. and thankfully, that meant an empty car. Having to explain to other passengers why Kale was half naked and I was performing minor surgery on a moving train with a swiss army knife and Sponge Bob cigarette lighter might be difficult, not to mention disturbing.
Reluctantly, I took the items from him. I knew it was going to have to be me. He couldn’t slice the damn thing from his own shoulder. But that didn’t mean I was happy about it. Blood didn’t squick me out like it did some people—namely Brandt—but I wasn’t necessarily a huge fan of it, either. And hacking into someone’s skin to dig something out? Ick factor squared.
I flicked the flint and held the blade over the flame as Kale sat there, patient and bare-chested. I tried hard not to look. Really. But I couldn’t help myself.
He noticed, too. “You’re going to have to look at me—not to mention touch me—if this is going to work.”
“I know.” I let go of the flint and set the knife down beside me to cool. “Too bad Alex isn’t here. He’d get a kick out of it.”
Kale took a deep breath and angled his shoulder closer. “Can you do this?”
Digging into my back pocket, I pulled out the handful of rubber gloves I’d taken from the store and wriggled my fingers into the left one first, and then the right. “Not like I have a choice, right?”
Kale reached over and grabbed the knife from the seat. Holding it out, he said, “That’s not what I asked.”
“Guess we’re about to find out.” With a deep breath, I took the blade from him and ran my left hand across his skin. With just the slightest bit of pressure, I felt along his shoulder, trying hard to ease the trembling in my fingers. The light wasn’t fantastic in here and I felt it before I saw it—the thinnest ghost of a scar. “I think this is it.” Pressing down with my thumb, I poked around until I felt something hard beneath the surface.
“Good. Get it out. It won’t be long before Denazen figures out what we’re doing and where we are.”
“Right,” I said, and positioned the tip of the blade down what felt like the center of the chip. “Ready?”
His left hand curled tightly around the top of the seat. “Just do it, Kiernan.”
So we were back to Kiernan, were we?
I told myself that pushing the blade through his skin was out of necessity and not because he’d called me Kiernan again, but it was probably an even mix of both. He gritted his teeth, muscles tightening beneath my gloved fingers, as I deepened the incision.
“You know…” I spoke as much for his sake as mine. I needed to keep myself grounded. There’d been a lot of crazy messed-up crap in my life, but I was sitting in an abandoned train car zooming through a strange town while trying to dig a tracking device from the skin of my boyfriend who may or may not still want to kill me. It was enough to make anyone dizzy, and I deserved an extra-large cup of coffee and one of those chocolate-covered strawberries the Blueberry Bean had for taking things as well as I was. “I seem to recall telling you my name was Dez. Not Kiernan. Aubrey confirmed what I told you. I heard him—not to mention what Penny said.”
I dug the tip in a little farther and Kale flinched. “Penny could be lying.”
“You’re unbelievable. You even called me Dez not an hour ago!” The tip of the knife clipped the chip. I flicked the point in an attempt to move it closer to the surface, but the blade slipped and Kale hissed in pain.
“Easy,” he snapped, gripping the edge of the seat. “And so could Aubrey—but I believe him. I don’t know why, but I have this feeling…”
“I don’t suppose you remember what he trusted you with, huh?” The night in the woods behind Ashley’s house rushed back. Aubrey telling me that he’d made Kale a promise. Now this. My curiosity was going wild.
“I don’t,” Kale said. He gripped the edge of his seat, knuckles turning white as I flicked the point of the knife again. “Why?”
“Just wondering. Aubrey is… He’s a little hard to pin.”
Kale tilted his head to the side, thoughtful, and sighed. “No. I trust him. I’m very curious about the proof he said he’d supply, but I believe what he said.”
I didn’t know what to say to that but thankfully, Kale didn’t give me much of a chance.
“I don’t belong with them,” he said after a moment. “I’ve felt it from the moment I woke up in the hospital bed.”
“If you felt that way, why did you stay? And why fight so hard against what I told you?”
“Have you ever been blind?” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as I continued to probe his skin with the tip of the knife. “Have you ever walked into a room, closed your eyes, and tried to find your way?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
“Do it. Do it and you will know what my life has been like since I woke up in that hospital bed. Blind. Imagine that you’ve been blind your entire life. Then one day you can see. Someone tells you that the color of the sky is called purple.” He opened his eyes. “You don’t feel like it’s purple—you feel like there might be another name, a better name, but no matter how you try, you can’t remember what it might be. It haunts your every waking moment but you can’t remember. What choice do you have?”