Tremble (Denazen #3)(27)

As I sat there rubbing my icy hands in front of the vent, Mom’s question bounced around inside my head. What if you can’t? Aubrey said they had done a lot of damage. If that meant Kale could never get his memories back, I’d have to start over.

Fine. Then that’s what I’d do. Jade’s appearance in September had proven Kale and I were solid as a boulder. She’d presented him with the chance to touch anyone he wanted—including her—and he’d still chosen me. His words echoed through my head.

If I had the ability to touch anyone else in this world, I still don’t believe I’d want it to be anyone but you.

I closed my eyes and let out a breath. I would never—could never—give up on him. We’d missed out on a lot, but I was determined to give him his first New Year’s kiss.

A few minutes later, the door opened and a burst of cold wind followed someone inside.

“A little far from home, aren’t you?” Kale asked as the door clicked shut.

A jolt of excitement mixed with unavoidable fear filled me. I opened my eyes but kept them front and center. If I avoided looking at him it made this easier. “Could say the same thing to you.”

“Drive.”

I didn’t hesitate or ask questions. Something like this was what I’d hoped for, right? Another chance to get him alone. If he was here, then Aubrey had done his part. Shifting into drive, I pulled away from the curb and tapped the gas. The car skipped a little on the ice, tires spinning for a second before lurching forward.

“Take a right at the end of this street, then go three blocks and pull into the parking lot.”

I did as instructed, focusing all my energy on keeping both eyes on the road. The lot was empty, so I pulled in and put the car into the spot at the very end, up against a chain-link fence. “Planning on bringing me in or offing me?”

Something slammed against the dashboard, sending me about a foot into the air. “Explain this.”

Slowly, I turned, still trying to avoid looking directly at him, and saw my cell on the dash between us. With a satisfied smile, I said, “I seem to recall going over this with you several months ago, but that’s a cell phone. You use it to call other people.”

“Pick it up,” he growled.

I did as I was told and reached for the phone. After I’d given it to Aubrey last night, I told him to make sure Kale saw it—particularly the pictures I kept stored. It was on, the screen opened to my picture folder. More specifically, to a picture of him and me.

Aubrey had come through for me again.

“Explain this,” he repeated. “Who is that in the picture with you?”

A sarcastic retort did its damnedest to push past my lips, but I swallowed it and sighed. “There’s nothing to explain, Kale. It’s you. And me. Our friend Dax took these pictures right before school started. Well, Ginger’s twisted idea of school.”

In the picture, Kale and I were huddled together, huge grins on our faces. We were sitting in the common room at the Sanctuary hotel—before it burned down. I remembered the whole thing like it was only yesterday. We’d talked for hours that day about Thanksgiving and Christmas and made plans to decorate our rooms with as many colored lights as we could possibly fit. Of course, that had never happened. Thanksgiving came and went. So had Christmas. For the first time in my life, I didn’t touch a string of lights or kiss someone beneath the mistletoe.

Kale ripped the phone from my hand as it started to ring. Glaring at the thing, he said, “This is a trick. You wanted me to see this.”

I tried to take it back—it was probably Mom or Ginger looking for an update on Thom—but he held it out of reach. “What I want is for you to wake the hell up.” I yanked off my seat belt and twisted to face him. “They messed up your head. Another Six did this to you. There was no accident. There’s no Roz. And Denazen is not trying to help you!”

He returned my glare with a steely one of his own. “And why would I believe you?”

I wanted to reach across the car and shake him. All the pain and anger I’d bottled up since seeing him walk away with Dad and Kiernan churned in the pit of my stomach, ready to explode. “Look at me and tell me there’s nothing. That you feel nothing.”

He stared at me for a long time. Something flickered in his eyes, but it was fleeting. There and gone in half a beat of my heart. “There’s… I only feel anger.”

“Good. That’s a start.” Mainly because it wasn’t just anger in his eyes. There was also confusion—and more importantly, curiosity. That’s what I’d aimed for.

He leaned against the passenger’s side door, brows askew. “It’s directed at you. You find this good?”

“You should be angry at me, Kale,” I said. The words came out before I could even think about them. I’d never given it much thought, but they were true. “I might not have stabbed you, or pushed you from a bridge, or whatever it was they said I did, but this is my fault.”

He didn’t say anything so I continued. “I was sick. Dying. My dad—Marshal Cross—had the only way to save my life. He said he would only give me the cure if one of us agreed to go with him. You went.”

The memory of that day had played in my mind ten thousand times on repeat. I couldn’t help feeling like I’d missed something. Like I could have done something more and taken control of the situation.