Tracking the Bear (Blue Ridge Bears Book 1)(34)

“I want you to yell at me. Hit me, do something other than this. I wrecked your life. I can feel how much you hate me every time I come home. I thought your anger would hurt, but your silence is worse. Just talk to me. I don’t care if you have to scream it.”

I didn’t want to yell. I wanted to cry. So, he hadn’t been as selfish or ignorant as I’d assumed. He’d known I was angry. He’d known I was jealous of the perfect life he had, the one I thought I’d wanted. The things I thought I’d needed to have a happy, productive life.

“Why didn’t you just apologize?” I asked quietly. “That was all I wanted.”

He flinched. “Brandi didn’t want me to tell.”

“And she was close to having her juvenile record sealed, so she didn’t want to have anything to do with it.” That at least made a little sense. Luke could be a bit slow when it came to women, but he wasn’t a bad guy. Of course, he’d want to protect Brandi.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

I hadn’t realized how large a weight I’d been lugging around until it suddenly fell off my shoulders. I reached out and this time he let me rest a hand on his shoulder. He was shaking.

“Do you still want me to get mad?” I asked.

“Please.” His voice quavered a little.

I took a deep breath and the words just seemed to flow out of me. All the things I’d wanted to say for years, but hadn’t dared to in front of Aunt Carol and Uncle Mack came spilling out.

“How could you just leave me behind like that?” I asked, not expecting an answer. It felt good to voice it all the same. “I was just barely out of traction, and you just left! You didn’t even take a semester off to see me after I saved your reputation.”

“I know,” he said, shaking his head. “I should have.”

“Damned right,” I said, slapping his arm lightly. “You left me here in Fairchild. Why wouldn’t I be angry?”

He was silent for a few moments that seemed to stretch a small eternity. Was he angry with me in return? Was he going to morph into a giant bear and attack me? I could feel my own bear, but I wasn’t sure if I could control her just yet. And I was fairly sure I had to wait until the next lunar cycle to let her out to play.

Then, he let out a loud laugh. He always sounded like a braying donkey when he laughed, and it usually made me giggle even if I didn’t find what he’d said particularly funny. This time, I couldn’t stop myself. This whole situation was simply ludicrous. We were on the run from bears and wolves alike, and I was still miffed he’d left me in Fairchild? It really was laughable.

Our mirth petered out a short time later and he helped me to sit on the floor.

“I’m sorry about your leg,” he muttered. “Did I hurt you?”

“A few scratches, that’s all,” I said, waving airily. “I’m not even convinced you made half of these. I tripped a lot when I ran last night.”

“Why’d you run?” he asked. “It sounded like you would have been safe at that campsite. If you’d crawled underneath the barrier and prayed a little bit.”

I nearly smacked myself. He was right. If I’d been thinking, I could have gotten inside the tent. I probably could have dragged Chance in with me, and we would have both been safe.

“I panicked,” I admitted. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“They have him,” he said. “I’d bet good money on that.”

“That’s a sucker’s bet,” I said. Icy fear shot into my veins. Freyr said that the Aesir had threatened him. They’d been willing to use me against him. The head werewolf had been pretty set on turning me into one of his lackeys. I was pretty sure that the blackmail would work both ways. They couldn’t get to me, so they’d hold him, hoping to lure me, and hopefully Luke into the open.

“What can we do?” he wondered aloud. “There were dozens of wolves, Lucy. I’m not sure I could take them on as a bear. I definitely can’t manage it human.”

“And if the goddess is there again, she can make you transform,” I muttered. “She did it to Chance on the freeway. He nearly crashed. It was like he didn’t have will of his own.”

Luke shuddered. “It already feels like that for me, Luce. I feel it coming on when the moon is full, and then suddenly it’s there, in my head and I can’t see or feel anything else. I just need to kill something, or I’m going to go insane.”

My hands balled into fists again. I wasn’t going to leave him to her mercy. But what could we do? Luke couldn’t get near her. I realized with mounting terror that if she couldn’t control me already, she would be able to soon. I had a bear. In a month or less, she could force me to shift. She could force me to kill.

The metal something bit into my palm again and I relaxed my grip, peering down at the object in my hand. There was a necklace in my palm. It didn’t look like much. It was a simple gold chain attached to a small teardrop pearl. It looked like something I could buy at Walmart for prom. I remembered Freya slipping something into my palm as I fell. Surely, this wasn’t the only thing she’d given me to survive.

Luke glanced down at it and gave me the ghost of a smile.

“You know gold isn’t my color, Lucy,” he teased.