Toxic: Logan's Story (Torn #4)(78)

I wasn’t the sweet and innocent girl I’d been before I met Joel. He’d changed me—but for the better. Before him, I’d rarely partied, and I’d never gotten into trouble. Now, I did what I wanted, and I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I had no friends of my own. I only hung out with his. It didn’t bother me though. I hated girls. My solitude and bad attitude usually led to rumors that I was on drugs or helping him sell them. And both rumors were true, so they didn’t bother me either because it made most people leave me alone.

But there was always some dumb skank who thought she could talk about me or try to push me around. I knew how to take care of myself. The girls who tried to start fights with me always ended up with blood dripping down their faces as they cowered on the floor.

Joel had taught me how to fight since he would bring me along to deals. He would even send me out to do them on my own if he was busy. Most people who were aware of the fact that I was helping Joel deal thought I was nuts, but I considered it a normal part of our relationship. Besides, he never sent me out on deals that were dangerous. He always handled those on his own. I would try to help him as much as possible. I knew that if I got caught, I wouldn’t end up in as bad of a situation as he would since I was under eighteen.

I didn’t use drugs often —with the exception of weed. While I had no problem dealing, I didn’t want to end up like one of the addicts who I supplied. They were gross and pathetic. Joel smoked weed a lot, but as far as I knew, that was the only thing he did. We both knew that if he started using, his profits would disappear.

We walked down the steps from his house to where his Harley was parked outside. He was the only guy I knew who was confident enough in his badass reputation to leave his bike out on the street all night. I grabbed my helmet and put it on before climbing on the bike behind him. I wrapped my arms around him as it came to life, and we tore down the street.

I loved being on his bike more than anything else. I’d made him promise me that we would go on a road trip the summer I turned eighteen. I wanted out of this town and away from my parents. I just wanted to be free.

The ride was short but exhilarating. We arrived in front of my house faster than I would have liked. While I had been in a hurry to get home, I hadn’t taken the time to mentally prepare myself for the fight that was sure to ensue. Sure enough, the front door flew open as soon as Joel parked and shut off his motorcycle. My mother stomped down the sidewalk to where we were sitting before I even had the chance to take off my helmet.

“Get. Inside. Right. Now!” she shouted.

I sighed as I pulled off my helmet. This should be fun. “I can explain—” I started.

She held up her hand to stop me. “I don’t want to hear it. Inside the house—now.”

I kissed Joel’s helmet and hopped off the bike. He started it back up and left, leaving me to deal with my mother alone.

Asshole.

“Mom, let me explain,” I started again, hoping that she would let me talk. “I just wanted to see him for a little bit. I planned to stay with him for only an hour or two, but then I fell asleep when we were watching a movie. I woke up and started freaking out.”

“You never should have gone to him in the first place. You’re grounded.”

“You can’t keep us apart. I love him, and he loves me!” I shouted.

“You have no idea what love even is, Alexandria! You’re still a child.”

“Yeah, I do. I know what I feel for him is love, and there is nothing you can do to change that.”

I stomped past her, focusing on the front door in front of me. Once I made it inside, I hurried upstairs to my room. She followed, obviously not finished with me.

“You are not to leave this house for a week. You were kicked out of school for the rest of the week, and since you don’t need to be there, you don’t need to be anywhere.”

“What does it even matter? This is the last week of school anyway. If I hadn’t been suspended, I would have skipped anyway.”

My mother shook her head. “I will never understand you, Alexandria. You’re not my baby girl anymore, and I have no idea what happened to you. I’d blame Joel, but this attitude of yours started long before him. If things don’t change, I’ll—”

“You’ll what? You might as well figure out what you’ll do to me because this is me, and I won’t change who I am to make you happy.”

“You’re destroying yourself, Alexandria. Look at you—you’re as thin as a twig. You’ve dyed your beautiful blonde hair black and put red through it. You won’t listen, and you have no respect for your father or me.” She glared at me. “And don’t even get me started on those piercings in your lip and nose. They look horrible.”

Currently, I was rocking a septum piercing, a piercing in my nose, and looped snakebite piercings. I really wasn’t sure why she was still so angry over it. I came home with new body modifications all the time. I would think she’d be used to it by now.

“Don’t forget about my tattoo. I know how much you love it,” I said sarcastically.

Almost three months ago, I’d come home with a tattoo on my left arm. I wasn’t eighteen yet, but Joel’s friend was a tattoo artist, so he had done it for me. I’d wanted a tattoo forever, so I’d jumped at the opportunity to get one. I had drawn the design myself. It covered most of my inner arm from my elbow to my wrist. At the top was a skull that ended with partial butterfly wings. Below that was a blue rose. I loved it even though I’d ended up being grounded for a month when my mother saw it.