Toxic (Denazen #2)(59)

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Something is off. You’re distracted.”

I sighed. Of course I was. My new BFF was currently in the parking lot, possibly sucking serious face with a killer, I was months away from losing my shit and going bonzo, oh, and there was that pesky little poison working its way through my system—all while keeping it to myself to protect the ones I loved.

Distracted? It was a miracle I hadn’t had a coronary yet. If I did somehow manage to survive, I’d be gray by the time I was twenty. The song faded, then melded seamlessly into the next, this one a smidge faster.

I tightened my grip on Kale and took a deep breath. “Things are kinda screwed up right now.”

“There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

Yes!

No.

Crap. “No, there isn’t.”

“There is,” he insisted, leading us to the right a bit. We’d gotten too far from the table and drifted onto the dance floor. “You’re so far away from me all the time. Evasive. I feel like I can’t find you.”

“Maybe if Jade would get out of the way, you could.” I regretted my words immediately. Way to sound like a five-year-old.

“She’s trying to help.”

“Herself, maybe,” I said under my breath.

“You should give her a chance. She’s nice. I like her. She’s my—friend.”

My mouth dropped open, and I had to consciously force myself not to let go and step away. I couldn’t help it. “Your friend? Kale, she doesn’t want to be your friend. She wants more than that.”

“You still think I’ll want her because I can touch her.”

“She can be something I can’t right now—a lifeline to a normal life—and you’re only human.” I glanced out over the dance floor. It was full of couples, embraced and entranced by each other, uninhibited, and it made me jealous.

His expression hardened. “Only human? Is that what you think? That my feelings for you can be overturned by something as simple as physical contact?”

There was really no way for me to answer without sounding like a complete bitch. In some ways that was exactly what I thought. I hadn’t had much luck in the love department. Alex, my dad—I’d always gotten shafted.

And then I’d met Kale. I fell—hard. But in the deepest recesses of my mind, I waited for the inevitable. For that point where he realized I wasn’t what he wanted or wasn’t good enough. I would go from being Ms. Right Always to Ms. Right at the Time.

He pulled me just a bit closer, eyes on mine, as we swayed to the music. “You are my lifeline. My normal life.”

“So you’re saying you’re not crushing hard on the fact you can paw people without killing them while she’s around?”

His eyebrows went up.

I sighed. “You like being able to touch people, right?”

He tore his gaze from mine and surveyed the room full of people with a look of wonder. This was really his first time out in a crowd when he didn’t have to worry about accidentally hurting someone. “Oh. Yes, I do.” When he turned back, he was smiling. “But I won’t need her for that. I’m going to learn to control it.”

“Have you considered the possibility that you won’t?”

“Of course not.” He stopped swaying as the song faded, the DJ announcing an anniversary, and pulled me to the side. “You don’t believe I can do it?”

It wasn’t so much the look on his face—a you just ran over my puppy, then stole all my candy expression—as the tone of his voice. Hurt. Rejected. I was making it sound like I had no faith in him, and that wasn’t it. I had more faith in Kale than I did any other person on earth. What I lacked faith in was nature. The universe. Maybe there just wasn’t a way to fix this. Deep down, I kept wondering even if he did learn control, would the universe let me back in? I’d gambled for his life and won, but there had to be a price to pay. There was always a price.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “If anyone can do this, it’s you. This whole thing just has me tied in knots.”

He took my hand and spun me around slowly as the music started again. “Knots?”

“It’s an expression. Confused. I’m just confused.” I made a decision. This thing with Able was starting to really scare me. I’d been convinced it was nothing more than a ruse to force me in the direction Dad wanted, but after talking to Daun, I wasn’t as confident. I needed Kale on my side. By my side. “Look, this has gotten really compli—”

“My turn,” a voice said from behind us. Jade was standing there looking gorgeous in her barely there emerald dress. “It’s impolite to let a girl sit alone at a table. I believe you owe me a dance.”

Kale looked from Jade to me. I could have said no. Kept him all to myself and pushed forward with the damn confession. That would have been the intelligent thing to do. But it would also make it seem like I felt threatened by her. And I didn’t.

Not really.

Plus I still had Able to deal with. The longer he stayed out there with Kiernan, the more nervous I got. “It’s fine,” I said with a forced smile. “I need a drink, anyway.”

Kale nodded and took her hand, and my stomach turned just a little. A part of me was hoping he’d refuse and stay with me on his own, but that wasn’t fair. I told him I didn’t mind. I’d lied. That wasn’t something Kale really understood, so how could I blame him?