Toxic (Denazen #2)(17)

He laughed again, pulling me to him. “I like this. It feels good.”

“I bet this feels better,” I whispered, leaning closer.

He grabbed the sides of my face, ensuring I couldn’t move. A giggle rose in my throat. Like I’d move? Away from this?

Warmth exploded everywhere he touched. Greedy fingers skimmed bare shoulders, slipped beneath the still-damp straps of my tank top, and traced eager lines up and down my neck. Warmth—and something else. Tiny prickles. Like the ones I’d felt earlier with Jade around, only slightly more aggressive. A few moments more, and my head started to hum. A low sound that made my ears itch and my stomach turn a little. A ghost of what I’d gotten a taste of on the crane, but enough to throw things off balance.

I ignored it and pushed off the wall. This. This was what I came here for. Yes, I’d wanted to check on him. Yes, I’d wanted to get out of that room with Mom. But most of all, I needed to connect with Kale. My lifeline. My adrenaline rush. I needed to feel like I was still alive. Like we were still alive. I needed to know that Jade’s appearance and her ability to be touchy-feely hadn’t changed anything between us.

And it hadn’t—because nothing ever could.

After a few blissed-out moments, Kale pulled back.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He was torn. I could see it in his eyes. Wanting so badly to touch me, but at the same time so terrified to cause me pain.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close again. “I wasn’t feeling anything but happies,” I whispered between kisses. “I promise.”

A few more seconds of internal debate, and he caved. Backing up slowly, lips still on mine, he maneuvered us to his bed. We collapsed on the mattress in a tangled heap, never breaking contact.

With each touch, the humming in my head grew louder. The subtle prickles grew to a constant throb as the pain flared to life, starting at my fingertips and working its way throughout my body. Still, I ignored it. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except this.

Except us.

“I don’t want this,” he breathed between kisses. “To go too far. If it hurts—”

Pulling him forward, I gripped the edge of his T-shirt—he’d changed out of the wet one—and pulled it over his head. Without missing a beat, he reached for the hem of my tank top, but I grabbed his hands and twisted them around my back. “Trust me, I’m feeling something, but it’s not pain.”

“Everything with you is better.” Ice-blue eyes stared straight into mine. When Kale looked at me like that, it was easy to forget the rest of the world. Fingers knotting through my belt loops, he used them to drag me close again “Only you, Dez.”

It wasn’t run-amok teenage hormones or what he’d said—sure, those things were awesome, but that’s not what did it for me. It was Kale’s intensity. The almost feral and somewhat possessive spark in his eyes. The deep, dark sound of his voice.

It drove me over the edge.

I pushed the little nagging voice aside, peeled back my wet shirt, and let it fall to the floor. Hands, lips, and hips. Everything was a jumble of limbs on fire. One minute his kisses were tracing a soft line down my jaw, the next his fingers were tugging furiously at the button of my jeans.

I tried to giggle at his enthusiasm, but it came out wrong. Not a giggle so much as a gasp. Followed by another.

Heaven and hell. Light and dark. There were a million purpley ways to describe it. None of them would come close to the actual feeling, though. The humming in my head flared, and this time it wouldn’t be pushed aside. The rubber band determined to squeeze the air from my lungs at the top of the crane was back—and it’d brought friends. Lots of them.

Still, I couldn’t push him away. If I pushed him away, I’d never have this again. I couldn’t accept that.

I bit down hard on the inside of my lip to keep from crying out, but it was useless. A small noise escaped my pursed lips. Kale faltered, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

Tighter.

Closer.

I wouldn’t let go. I wouldn’t lose this.

Couldn’t lose this.

“Dez?”

Shaking. I was shaking. Trying so hard to fight the painful sensation building inside me—to keep him from seeing the effect his skin had—but it was pointless. There was no way to hide it.

“I—” I pulled away from him and scooted back across the bed. The instant we separated, the pain began to ebb, and it was like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stifling room. “I can’t…”

Kale’s expression fell. “I hurt you, didn’t I?” He sat up and eased himself off the bed. Crossing the room, he didn’t stop until he’d backed against the opposite wall—as far away from me as space would allow.

I opened my mouth, then closed it. No matter what I said, it would make things worse.

He caught my gaze, and for a long moment, all either of us could do was stare. This was hell. It was like someone was waving the one thing we both wanted, the one thing we couldn’t have, in front of our faces.

Kale was the one who broke the spell. “You should go.”

I flinched as though he’d hit me. This wasn’t happening… “Go? As in, you’re asking me to—to leave?”

He turned away, fists balled tight at his sides. The physical pain I’d been in was nothing compared to the look on his face. This was killing him, which in turn was destroying me. “You being here is…dangerous. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something—” He turned to me. “You should go back to your room.”