Torrent of Tears (Scourge Survivor Series Book 3)(86)

He glanced over his shoulder at Kaya and Ava, as if he too was nervous. They proceeded until the three of them stood directly before me. “Lia,” he said, “I wish . . . we wish to ask after you. Are you well?”

He smelled just as I remembered and the wings of butterflies fluttered against my insides. “I am well, though saddened that my return was brought about by Tham’s spirit ceremony. I shall miss him. He was a remarkable male.”

Durian nodded. His hair had grown to midway down his chest while I was away, but even still, it failed to hide how his ears flushed an adorable pink right to their gentle tips. “We heard . . . well your Eda told the council . . .”

As he hesitated and I braced myself. I could only imagine what my Eda told the council. My sire had detested me since my birthing. In fact, today he had yet to acknowledge my existence at all. Even Galan and Jade had ranked a loathing sneer from across the party. I seemed unworthy of even that.

Kaya crossed her arms over her now ample breasts. She had filled out considerably since I was home. “Is it true that you died and passed Behind the Veil?”

I adjusted the velvet mourning choker banding my throat. “Uh no, well, . . . in a fashion.”

“And yet you return? Were you turned away from the After?” The cool mockery in Kaya's tone caught me by surprise. We had been friends. Or I thought we had.

“I did not die . . . exactly. Galan and Jade rescued me from my state and brought me back.”

Kaya’s gaze narrowed as she scowled. “How fortunate for you. Dozens of loved ones died during your capture—Ava’s Eda, Durian’s brother—and yet your brother and his magic-wielding mate brought you back to live on?”

Ava stepped forward and flicked my hair. “To think, we admired your silver hair. So different. So beautiful. Now we know it symbolizes you being the abhorrent offspring of a maniacal Queen and heir to Rheagan’s throne.”

Durian frowned. “Would you have us bow to you, Lia? Now that you have destroyed our lives and moved on to rule a realm which hates our very race?”

The party fell silent. My eyes shot around the ruin site, skipping over the glimmering perfection I had seen before, bouncing off the accusing glares of strangers I had known and loved my entire life. “I am not the heir to the throne.”

Kaya yanked my fist forward and pried my fingers open. Hidden in the palm of my hand, gleamed a blue-diamond big enough that the entire gathering could see it from any distance. “You wear the Queen’s ring.”

About to vomit. I was definitely about to vomit. Tears blurred my vision as I struggled for what to say. “I . . . the ring cannot be removed. If it could I would—”

Cowboy’s snarl ripped through the night, the long rumbling timbre of his wolf vibrating in my chest. When his muscled frame stalked beside me, my three friends stumbled back. In a blur, he pulled me tight to his side and Flashed me to Tham’s little cottage in the centre of the village.

When he released me, I breathed through the sensations of magical travel: the flutter of my stomach, the airy lightness in my head and the squeezing of breath from my lungs.

They hated me. They blamed me. They thought that I . . .

Frantically I turned and tried to . . . what? Where could I go? My home? I had no home. I had to . . . oh, gods. Gasping shallow breaths, I yanked the mourning band from my neck. “I cannot breathe.”

“S’all good, sweetheart. That was bullshit up there. A few deep breaths and you’ll be right as rain.”

I shook my head, the dead silence of the celebration above, echoing in my head. “Nothing is right. I ruined their lives. I ruined Tham’s party. I ruined my own family. I killed my mother just by being born. Did you know that?”

Cowboy grabbed at my flailing arms but I lurched free and headed for the river.

With trembling hands, I tugged the ribbons from my hair and threw them to the ground. Guilt and loathing crushed my lungs. I wished I was strong like Jade and Lexi. I wished I had a place. A purpose. But I’d seen the truth in the eyes of my friends. I was nothing.

I waded into the water, deeper and deeper still, dragging my legs against the resistance of the water until the current swept my skirt and soaked my bodice. My tears fell in earnest and the day overtook me. One more step and I could collapse into the inviting warmth of the river mouth and be lost. I would let myself sink. The weight of my grief would pull me down. Down until my boots touched the pebbled bottom. Down until the world disappeared and the hurt washed away.

My lungs would burn with the urgent need to draw breath, but I would hold fast until oblivion claimed me.

“Durian is wrong, sweeting.” The Elven voice had me swiping the back of my hand across my eyes. Cameron stood on the river bank opposite me, his wide, callused palms open. “The village attack was the act of a madman and his quest to rule the realm. You are no more responsible for your ancestry than my Aust for being born with his gift to speak to animals. Naught of this is your doing. I do not blame you.”

I pounded my fist against the unrelenting pressure that had compressed my chest for months. “They came for me. You and the others were killed because of me.”

“And you carry that with you always.”

I rubbed my forehead. It felt like someone had cleaved my skull in two and my body failed to recognize that I was dying. In the throbbing haze of one of my worst headaches yet, I glanced around. “Oh, gods, what do I do?”