Torn(51)

"A boy, not mine. I insisted on a DNA test, the results came back but by then I'd already had the marriage annulled."

Her brows perch as she tilts her head. "You had the marriage annulled before you knew if the baby was yours?"

"I had it annulled before I knew there was a baby," I correct her. "We got married right after I got out of rehab. We slept together once. We mostly just fought so I had the marriage annulled a few weeks later."

"When did you find out about the baby?"

My jaw tightens. "It was months later. I stepped up to the plate right away. I wanted to work out support and custody but my lawyer thought a DNA test was a good idea."

She rubs her palms on the front of the white shorts she's wearing. "If it wasn't your baby, the DNA was a good idea."

"Maybe," I admit. "Maybe not. I would have loved that boy as if he was my own."

Her eyes search mine. "It was a loss for you, wasn't it?"

I nod. "I want kids. I wanted that boy. I was devastated when I found out he wasn't mine."

"Don't you think that it's better that you found out before he was born?" she begins before she takes a metered step closer to me. "It would have been harder to accept if you found out later that he wasn't your son."

I just stare at her. There's so much compassion in her eyes.

"Think about him," she continues. "I can't imagine what it would be like to find out at some point in your life that your dad isn't your dad."

I cover my mouth with my hand, tears welling in my eyes. "I know what that feels like, Falon. I know exactly what it feels like."

***

Tears stream down her face as she listens to the voicemail. Her hand holds mine just as tightly as it has since we left her studio to come to my apartment. We didn't speak after I told her that I wanted her to come home with me. She'd called a client to reschedule a shoot and then locked her studio door before we hopped into a taxi.

I brought her straight into my bedroom before I opened the safe and pulled the flash drive from the envelope. When I plugged it into my computer, her eyes locked with mine. She tilted her head towards the speaker once she heard my dad's voice.

Her brows had risen and then she pressed play again, closing her eyes as my dad's voice filled the room a second time.

"This is what you found out that day in my studio, isn't it?" She pauses. "I felt it. I didn't know you, yet I could feel your pain."

"I got the call about it then." I tap my foot against the floor as I sit on the bed next to her. "I didn't hear it myself until later that day."

"Then we kissed the next day." Her fingers trail over her lips. "You were dealing with this then. You had just heard this?"

"Hours before that." I follow the path of her fingers with my own, running the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip. "I was so f*cked up that day. I knew I wanted to see you but I didn't handle it well. I'm sorry about that."

Her eyes drop to the laptop, she pushes it closed. "Did you ever suspect? I've seen articles online about you and your family. I didn't think any of them were real."

My brows rise. "I've had suspicions for years. I'm a lot different than my brothers."

"Do they know? Did you tell them about this?"

I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't. I know it's going to pain Gabriel when he realizes that I've known for this long and I didn't tell him. He's always been upfront with me about everything. I wanted to deal with this by myself, by my own terms. I'm hoping he'll see merit in that. I want him to be proud of me, Caleb too.

"I haven't told anyone else. You're the only one."

She slides closer to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "I'll do anything to help you, Asher. We can talk, or you can yell or we can ignore it all until you're ready to tell your family."

I reach up to cup her chin in my hand. "I just want you. The only thing I want right now is to make love to you."





CHAPTER 41


Falon




"It's been killing me, Falon," he says gruffly. "Not touching you, not tasting you. I've felt like a starved man since I went to Philly."

"It felt like forever, Asher," I say softly as I watch him undress.

He'd taken his time helping me out of my clothes. He knelt down as he pulled my shorts down, showering my legs with kisses before he touched me through the lace panties I'm wearing. They'd gotten wet not only from his finger on my clit, but from the way he was growling, telling me that he loved my body, that he wanted to be inside me.

When he finally pulled my panties off, he licked my *, moaning the entire time. I didn't come. I wanted to but I wanted to touch him more. I'd tried to slow his movements by pulling on his hair. He chuckled, pushing me onto the bed before he moved his lips up my stomach.

He unbuttoned the blue blouse I'm wearing slowly, telling me that my skin is so soft and that he dreams about touching me almost every night. By the time he unhooked my bra, my nipples were tight points, hard and aching.

My hips bucked off the bed when he circled one nipple in his mouth before he bit down hard on it. I cried out and he silenced me with a lush kiss on my lips. I tried to help him undress then, but he'd pulled back. He's standing in front of me now, completely nude.