Too Hard to Handle (Black Knights Inc. #8)(105)

He stood to his full height, hooking his thumbs in his belt buckle so that his fingers made a frame of his man bits. The man bits she was trying to make use of. Glancing at his face, she saw his lips quirking.

She pointed a finger at him. “Don’t do it. Don’t you laugh at me.”

He rolled in his lips, his big chest quaking.

“You really don’t want to test me right now,” she warned. “I’m this close”—she held her thumb and forefinger an inch apart—“from taking out my frustration on various and sundry parts of your body. Starting with your smiling mouth.”

“Ahem.” He studiously wiped away his smirk, trying his best to compose himself. “Come here,” he said, herding her toward the couch. Yes, herding. Because she was as big as a cow. Thanks to him. The bastard! “Let’s sit down and let’s talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she growled. “I just want to do it.” Still, she sat on the sofa, jamming a pillow behind her aching back and putting her swollen feet and ankles up on the coffee table. Cankles. She never thought she’d see the day she had cankles.

“Believe me,” Dan said, sitting beside her and putting his big, warm hand on her belly. He always did that when he came to visit her. Sat with his hand on her stomach as if he wanted to touch her and the baby at the same time. “I wanna do it too. Jesus, Penni, I’ve been dreaming of doing it for the last six goddamn months.”

“So what’s the problem?” she demanded.

“The problem is I promised myself that if we made love, when we made love”—she narrowed her eyes because the way he said it made it sound like it was a foregone conclusion. Now she added the word “arrogant” in front of the word “bastard” when she silently cursed him—“that it would be because you’ve accepted that I love you. And you’ve admitted to loving me too.”

“Dan,” she said, sighing, “I’ve already told you—”

*

“I know what you’ve told me, damnit!” Dan cut Penni off. He’d tried to play nice. Play it cool. Tried not to broach any of their issues because every time he did, her face twisted up like someone had shoved a porcupine up her tuckus, and he worried what her stress could do to the baby. But he was done being patient. They were having their heart-to-heart right goddamned now!

“But you’re wrong,” he said. “You think you’re a rebound, but you’re not. It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d dated and slept with fifty women between Patti and you, or zero women between Patti and you, because the moment I met you, the moment I saw you, I knew. I knew you, Penelope Ann DePaul. And I knew I wanted to be with you.”

“Dan, I—”

“Shut up and let me finish,” he growled, pinning her with a fierce look.

“Continue,” she allowed with a sniff. And she was so damned beautiful, she made him ache. Pregnancy looked good on Penni. It made her round and soft. All dewy and pink. It’d been torture these past few months keeping his dick in his pants, but that’s what he’d done. Because that’s one of the rules she’d imposed when she agreed to move to Chicago.

Dan would thank the BKI ladies until his dying day for convincing Penni to do that. He’d loved seeing her blossom. Loved watching his child grow within her. Loved going to Lamaze classes. Loved…her.

“You think the only reason I’ve stuck around as long as I have is because you’re pregnant, but that’s not true,” he insisted. “Baby or no baby, I would have pursued you exactly the same,” he continued. And the look on her face said she desperately wanted his words to be true. “Because I believe with my whole being and everything that I am that we belong together. You and me. Forever.”

“Dan—”

“And you think because I loved my wife with my whole heart that there’s no way I could love you the same.” He cut off whatever protest she’d been about to make. Now that he was talking, he was determined to get it all out, lay every single one of his cards on the table. “But again, you’re wrong.”

“But—”

“See, my love for her doesn’t lessen my love for you,” he said, his eyes boring into hers, insisting she hear and understand and believe. “’Cause love is endless, boundless. Just when you think there couldn’t possibly be any more in you, you look and see a well of it just waiting to be tapped.” And it was a miracle. He was awed by it. Humbled by it.

“I loved Patti. And I love you. And I’m so…lucky…” His voice hitched. Oh, and great, now he was the one with tears welling in his eyes. “So f*cking lucky to have had the opportunity to love two brilliant, beautiful woman in my life. So f*cking lucky to have found a soul mate twice.”

“Soul mate,” she whispered.

“That’s what we are,” he insisted, wiping a hand under his nose. “When I think back on it, I’ve known since the beginning. It’s that strange connection we share. That odd sense of peace and comfort we get whenever we’re near each other.”

“That bizarre feeling of knowing and being known.” She sighed.

His heart leaped. Did she…finally…believe him?

“Exactly.” He nodded. “So I’ll make love to you, Penni.” Oh, how he’d make love to her. Over and over. Twice for every time he’d wanted to in the past six months. “Just as soon as you tell me you believe me. Just as soon as you tell me you love me too.”