Today's Promises (Promises #2)(28)

Taking another sip of coffee, and following a thoughtful pause, Detective Silver continues. “Perhaps this girl did indeed meet an untimely end. But without some kind of hard evidence, there’s no way to build a case against Allison Lowry. Or anyone else, for that matter.”

“Come on, though. We can’t just give up.” Jaynie’s voice is verging on panicked. “I just know… I mean, I actually feel like it was Allison who hurt that girl.”

Eyeing her intently, the detective says, “Remember what we talked about last time we were together. We can still build a case against Allison, for whatever it is she did to you. Assault and battery may not keep her behind bars forever, but it’d certainly tie things up and preclude her from an early release this summer.”

Looking away sharply, Jaynie murmurs, “I still need time to think about it. I just don’t know if I can do it.”

The detective stands and places his hands on the counter. “Please, Miss Cumberland,” he says, his tone pleading. “Give this some serious thought. I can take a statement from you at any time. You still have my card, right?”

Jaynie’s lips are pressed together tightly. I can tell she’s striving to stay composed.

“Yeah,” I say, answering for her, “we have your card.”

“Well, call me when you reach a decision. In the meantime, I’ll keep you abreast of any new developments at the Lowry property. But, let me say again, it does not look promising.”

And with that downer, he walks out the door, taking all the peace and solace of the wintry weekend along with him.





Jaynie



“What do you want to do?” Flynn asks me after the detective leaves the sandwich shop.

I shrug, unsure of where to go from here. I know what I should do. But talking about what I went through is easier said than done. Plus, will it even matter?

Nonetheless, Flynn insists, “I think we should try and get back to Detective Silver as soon as possible. You have to decide whether or not you want to give him a statement and let him know either way.” He stops and runs his hands through his hair. “I have to say, though, that it’s not looking good up at the Lowry property. The old barn is apparently nothing but an old barn. Not a burial spot, after all.”

I sigh. “Yeah, seems not. Still, Flynn, I don’t know. I hate the idea of Allison being released early, but I really can’t imagine how much help a statement from me will be in keeping her locked up.”

“Detective Silver told you it could keep that bitch behind bars for quite some time. That should be more than enough motivation, I’d think.”

“It’s not you who has to talk,” I snap.

Shit, what am I doing? I’m not really mad at Flynn. He’s only trying to help. I know he just wants me to reach a place where I feel comfortable telling my story—the whole story—to strangers.

But the truth remains that I’m scared as hell.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” I say.

“It’s okay, Jaynie.”

He looks so dejected, and I know it’s because of this one thing I keep bottled up. In any case, I at least owe him an explanation as to where I’m at.

“Look, Flynn.” His eyes meet mine, and I try to smile so he knows I’m not mad at him. “Part of me wants to give a statement,” I go on, “but I’m terrified it’ll send me reeling backwards. You know, like back into a total funk?”

He nods. “That is always a possibility,” he concedes.

I appreciate him not bullshitting me, and I add, “What if that does happen, and I can’t get out of it this time? Flynn, seriously, things were so bad when you were away that some days it took all I had to get out of bed.”

“But you did,” he reminds me.

“Yeah, I kept going, but I wasn’t, like, really here. I wasn’t living, not at all. I only existed. I went through the motions of life, but with no heart in any of it.”

“You were living, though,” Flynn insists.

“Barely,” I counter.

He takes a tentative step toward me, compassion clear in his sad, gray eyes. “I know it felt impossible back then, but that feeling never beat you.” He scrubs a hand down his face. “Christ, it kills me that I wasn’t here for you. I feel responsible. You should never have had to go through all that shit alone.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” I say, shaking my head. “You couldn’t be here.”

“I know, but still… I’ll never forgive myself for failing you.”

“You didn’t fail me, Flynn.” I go to him and give him a hug. “God, we’re so broken,” I whisper.

“We’re doing much better, though,” he mumbles into my hair. “You especially are. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

Leaning back, I ask him, “Do you really believe that?”

“I do. You’ve made great progress lately, Jaynie.”

Warming up to the idea that I may be able to do this statement thing, I say, “If I talk with the detective about what happened, you’d be with me every step of the way, right?”

He gives me a look. “Do you even have to ask that question, babe?”

“No,” I admit. “I guess not.”