Tipping The Scales: Knox (Mate Craze)(35)

“Hello to you, too, Rhi.” I forced myself to smile as I spoke hoping it would somehow miraculously hide the complete and utter meltdown that was brewing inside me. “I’m in the truck.”

I wasn’t about to admit I was wandering aimlessly, completely lost on what to do next with my life. A life I had completely planned out and ready. A plan that now seemed pointless because he was gone. Someone who I knew for a nanosecond in the scheme of things. No, that little tidbit was all for me. Some things are too embarrassing, even to admit to a best friend, especially when your best friend had been acting not so normal as of late.

“You sound awful.”

Okay so maybe she was a little bit back to the old Rhi that I knew and loved.

“Yeah, well Knox and I had a fight.” Explosive end. Whatever. I still hadn’t fully processed what the heck had happened. He wanted me and then once he got me… boom, see ya. I knew this was a classic boy getting in a girls pants tactic, but he didn’t even want in my pants, where I probably would have let him go because apparently he turns me into someone other than myself.

“He wanted some and you put on your good girl breaks. Am I right?” She started humming her bow chicka wow wow annoying song. Normally it would have had me chuckling as I saw her accompanying dance in my head, but even that couldn’t break through the torture I was feeling.

And it was torture. Rejection stung, true. But this, this was more. I physically hurt being away from him. Knowing he was miserable and that I was the cause of hurt on a level that defied logic. Why didn’t he let me stay? His words just didn’t add up. I heard them, understood them and applied them to the situation like any good lawyer would, but I still came up missing something. If he truly loved me as he said, letting me go was the antithesis of what he should be doing.

That was the crux of it though, wasn’t it? He didn’t love me. Not truly. Not that anyone could love in that short period of time. So why did his non-love hit me so freaking hard?

“More like I wanted more.” I admitted like a fool. I didn’t want to talk about any details even the non-dragony mate-ish ones. Or did I? I had called her. I was a stupid hot mess. Arrrg. Knox, why did you have to be so smexy and funny and talented and such a good kisser and ride a motorcycle and more importantly why did you have to reject me?

“Gay.”

Leave it to Rhi.

“I don’t think that is the problem.” Nope, I felt exactly how much that wasn’t the problem when he was pressed against me, owning my mouth, stealing my ability to do anything more than feel.

“I’m still calling gay.” It was her go to reason for all things male. Dude didn’t want to dance with her, it had to be he liked guys and not that she was an annoying drunk. Guy breaks up with her, had to be he had the same taste in gender. Goodness forbid it be her fault. No one buys her a drink—you guessed it—all gay. One day she was going to take a good long look in the mirror. No doubt today wasn’t going to be that day. Or was it tomorrow, already?

“I was sure you were his,” she mumbled. That was the second time she said something like that. Something was off. Could it be she was a dragon? No, that was just my ridiculously overactive imagination. I would’ve known if my roomie could fly around and spit fire.

“What?”

“I said, he’s GAY,” she lied. I mean she did say that, but I could hear in her voice that she was covering up what she knew I heard. One crisis at a time, I reminded myself. I could deal with Rhi’s fiery secret in the morning. For now I needed to pull myself together, get some answers, and figure out a plan. My plan would have to include Knox fitting in my life, even if he wasn’t currently game.

“I gotta go. I just didn’t want you to worry.” I took a deep breath as I waited for her response. A good fifteen seconds later I added, “And he’s not gay, just a jerk.”

“Where are you?” Her response didn’t match my words nor did her intonation. “I’ll meet up.” Yeah that wasn’t going to happen. My gut told me no good could come of it. Maybe she was a evil dragon. Were there such things? Or worse, maybe she wanted Knox. Not that that should be worse than her being an evil dragon, but at the moment I could think of nothing worse.

“Just driving.” I flipped the turn signal, hoping the added sound effect would give credence to my lie. “Go. Have fun. I’ll see you when I clear my head a bit.”

“If you’re sure…”

“I’m sure. Night.” I hung up before she could add anything to the conversation. It needed to be over because I just couldn’t. Not tonight, not after all that had already happened.

I was a sadist. That was the only explanation for the four bazillion times I replayed the fight with Knox as I drove in what amounted to a ginormous circle around the town again and again. If I had had my wits about me, I would’ve altered my route by now to avoid the chances of town security thinking I was planning some kind of attack. That was not what I needed.

Parts of it just didn’t make sense. If I was his one and only, that should be the way it was. Not I’m your one and only but buh bye. Not when I could be the thing between him and whatever would happen to him if I said no. Why didn’t I have the courage and chutzpa to call his bluff on leaving?

You need to leave as soon as possible before I change my mind.