Time and Time Again (Maybe #2.5)(12)

He curses and darts his gaze to me. “You sure about this, Clara? I don’t want to hurt you, and I’m telling you right now that I don’t want a commitment. I’m not looking to be tied down, and that isn’t a reflection of you, because you’re amazing. Perfect. It’s all me.”

I nod. “Okay, I get it.”

“Do you?” he asks, reaching his arm over and taking my hand in his. “I’m going to be honest with you. I wanted you the second I saw you. You were so f*ckin’ beautiful and innocent looking. With that red hair, holy f*ck. I was hard within seconds. Still, with wanting you so much since the second you stepped into my life, I still f*cked another woman that one night. That’s who I am, and you can’t change me, so if you want to, then we’re both going to be wasting our time.”

Ouch, that hurt. But then again, the truth usually does. I didn’t like thinking about him with another woman. It made my chest hurt.

“Are you saying that you’re still going to f*ck around if we’re together?” I ask, eyebrows furrowing.

“That’s the thing, Sweetheart. We won’t be together. Casual is casual.”

So he wanted me to be his f*ck buddy? Disappointment fills me, but I try and hide my reaction. If he sees it, he will retract his offer and put me back in the friend zone, which was the last thing I wanted.

“I see,” I murmur. “What about the age thing? I thought that was an issue for you.”

He sighs. “It was. It is. But I want you more than I care about your age anymore. You’re not a virgin, are you?”

I shake my head. I wasn’t, but I’d only slept with one other guy twice, so I wasn’t exactly experienced either.

“You don’t have to act like this is an inconvenience to you,” I mumble, turning my head to look out the window. He runs his hand up my thigh, his thumb circling.

“It’s not that,” he says. “I really like you, Clara, and I don’t want to mess this up.”

“Then don’t.”

“Do you promise that no matter what happens you won’t just leave?” he asks.

“Leave?”

“Yeah. Storm out of the house and leave before you’re ready. If we fight or whatever, you still have to stay, because we’re friends first, no matter what.”

He parks the car in his driveway while I think over everything he’s said. I don’t realise how lost in my thoughts I am until Tag opens the passenger door and helps me out. When he lifts me in his arms, carrying me like a bride, I forget everything. I forget why this is such a bad idea. I forget that I’m going to get hurt. All I think about is how good his arms feel around me, how right. How could something that feel so good be wrong? In Tag’s arms, I feel safe. I feel like I’m home. How could he come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time?

“You didn’t answer me,” he says once we’re inside his house. He walks into my room and lays me down on my bed.

“Wh-what?” I ask stupidly, distracted by his close proximity.

“Promise you won’t leave.”

“I promise,” I say just before his mouth comes down on mine. I clutch the back of his neck with both hands as my lips finally get a taste of him. He kisses me hungrily, his tongue pushing between my lips and exploring my mouth. I’ve never been kissed like this. It is possessive, wet, hot. Perfect. He tastes like mint and smells like he always does, a fresh scent of soap and cologne. I think I could get wet from that scent alone. He makes a sound in the back of his throat, one that turns me on even more, but then he pulls back from me. Looking down at me with a gentle look on his handsome face, he leans back down and kisses the tip of my nose.

“Been wanting to do that for so damn long,” he says quietly, cupping my cheek with his hand.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“You know why,” he murmurs. “I’m going to go to bed.”

“What?” I gasp, sitting up. “But I thought—”

“You thought what?” he asks, sounding amused.

Was he not as affected as I was by the kiss?

“Did you not like the kiss?” I ask, feeling confused and a little embarrassed. I was a little out of practice, but I thought the kiss was f*cking magical.

“What? The kiss was f*ckin’ hot, Clara. Of course I loved it. It was with you.”

“Then why… I thought we would…”

“You want me to f*ck you right now?” he asks bluntly, looking mildly surprised.

I look down at my hands. “I would like that. I mean, that kiss got me pretty… you know…”

“Wet?” he supplies, his voice going low and husky. “Are you wet, Clara?”

I could feel my cheeks burning, but my desire was the emotion in control. “Why don’t you find out?”

A curse word falls from his lips. I wait patiently as he watches me for a moment then pulls his t-shirt off with his arms over his head. I swallow hard, taking in his ripped body. The light flowing through from the hallway gives me a nice view, and I take a moment to appreciate it.

“You’re beautiful,” I blurt out as he undoes the button on his jeans, the action drawing my gaze.

“That’s my line, Sweetheart,” he replies, chuckling softly.