Till Death(34)

Was this really happening?

Part of me wanted to grab him by the arms and drag him out to the door, but I knew there was no way that was going to be a successful endeavor. The other half just couldn’t believe this was happening, but there was a small part of me, a stupid and completely irrational part of me, that was secretly thrilled that Cole was here, sitting on my couch.

There was also a part of me that was terrified, because his insistence made me feel like I wasn’t safe, and neither was my mother. If I was being honest, I already knew that, but since I couldn’t figure out why, it all seemed too surreal.

I shifted my weight from one foot. “Should I . . . I be worried about all of this?”

Cole’s eyes met mine, and then suddenly, moving unbelievably fast, he was up and right in front of me. Then he was touching me, his hands carefully cradling my cheeks, and my heart was definitely doing cartwheels now. “Whether or not you should be worried about it isn’t the deal here. You are worried about it.”

Lies formed on the tip of my tongue as I stared into crystalline eyes, but I spoke the truth in a whisper. “I am freaked out about it.”

“Anyone would be,” he said, his voice just as low. “Even if they didn’t have . . . well, if they didn’t have your history.”

I flinched, and then closed my eyes as he swept his thumb along my right cheek, chasing away the reaction. I don’t know why I admitted what I did next. “Sometimes I wonder if I missed things before. You know? Like there had been signs that the Groom was coming after me and I missed them?”

“Even if there were signs, you wouldn’t have known that was going to happen.” His voice was as gentle as his hold. “And I’m not saying that these things are signs now, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I opened my eyes. “If I hadn’t . . . if my past wasn’t what it was, would you insist on doing this now?”

A muscle worked in his jaw. “Sasha—”

I pulled away, slipping out of his grasp and putting space between us. Disappointment filled me, like it had while I’d been at his house. I didn’t want my past driving his actions, and it was absolutely silly of me to think that would ever be a possibility.

The knot in my throat expanded. “You don’t have to do this because you feel sorry for me, Cole.”

His head tilted to the side as his brows drew tight. “I don’t feel sorry for you.”

I almost laughed. “And you don’t need to do this because you feel some sort of obligation to me, because of what happened.”

Understanding flashed across his face. “You know, there are things we still need to talk about. One of them being all that crap that went down in my kitchen before you ran out of my house.”

My spine stiffened. “We don’t need to talk about any of that. What you need to do is—”

“Oh, we’re going to talk about that, but it’s going to wait, and in the meanwhile, you can get angry and you can tell me I’m being unreasonable, and you can come up with any number of crazy reasons why you think I’m doing this, but I’m not leaving. No way in hell,” Cole said, eyes flashing, “am I leaving you again.”





Chapter 10




Cole didn’t leave.

And I also didn’t stand in the living room of my cute-but-not-as-amazing-as-Cole’s-house apartment and argue with him. I’d stormed into my bedroom, only to remember that my bathroom was outside the bedroom.

So after pacing for several minutes, chafing at the idea that Cole felt he needed to be here to protect me from some unseen threat that probably didn’t even exist, I threw open my bedroom door and stomped back out into the short hall. I didn’t see Cole, but he’d apparently found the remote to the TV.

Cole was literally sitting in my living room, watching TV.

I couldn’t believe it.

Quickly completing my nightly routine, I stormed back into my bedroom and managed to resist the urge to slam the door shut behind me. I needed to talk to Miranda.

Except I’d left my phone in my purse on the kitchen counter.

And I refused to go back out there.

Undressing, I grabbed the first thing out of my drawer and I slipped it on over my head. My bedroom door didn’t have a lock on it, and the last thing I needed was to be standing around half naked if Cole decided to roam into the room for some reason.

I all but threw myself onto the bed. It wasn’t late, and normally I wouldn’t be anywhere near bed at this time, but I was trapped.

Okay. I wasn’t trapped. It was by choice that I was hiding in my bedroom. Hiding yet again, and as I lay there, I knew he was doing what he thought was the right thing. He wanted to make sure I was safe, and I could appreciate that even though it annoyed me greatly. I wasn’t a damsel in need of protection. Not that I didn’t recognize what Cole could do if I was threatened. I wasn’t stupid. He had a gun. I didn’t, but I didn’t . . . I didn’t like feeling as if I couldn’t take care of myself. For ten years, I’d been doing just that. I’d beat back that fear and I’d been fine.

But Cole was here because of what happened to me before. And I didn’t need a PhD in psychology to know that he felt like he hadn’t been there for me before. In a way, he was atoning for what he believed he had failed at.