Throne of Truth (Truth and Lies Duet #2)(93)

I flinched, holding my broken pieces together. “That’s ridiculous. How can you say love isn’t enough?” The dirty disbelief in my voice made me snarl. “You want me, Penn. I want you. Don’t do something as stupid as—”

“I’m not being stupid, Elle. I’m being smart.”

“No, you’re being a raging moron.” Stomping toward him, I placed my hand over his thumping heart. “Tell me you love me. Tell me what you told me last night. Tell my dad so he can hear what an idiot you are.”

Penn gritted his teeth, moving away from my touch. “I’m not an idiot for trying to protect you, Elle. Why can you do so much for me and I can’t do the same for you?”

“I didn’t hurt you and call it helping!”

“You don’t think I’m not hurting? That this isn’t fucking killing me?”

My cheeks burned with terror that I wouldn’t be able to talk him out of this. To stop this lunacy. “Then don’t do it! It’s a silly newspaper.”

“It’s in black and white!” He bared his teeth. “It’s damaging. I know how awful the mob mentality can be, Elle. It can fucking ruin everything you love.”

“Can you really stand there and talk about love even while breaking my heart?” I wrapped my arms around my waist, hugging hard. “I chose you, Penn. You’re worth whatever silly stories they make up about us. Admit you love me and stop trying to be a martyr.”

His lips remained stubbornly locked together.

He couldn’t tell me that he loved me.

He wouldn’t.

He believed he was doing the right thing.

It’s not.

It’s not the right thing!

“As much as I agree with you,” Dad said. “Are you sure about this? You seem to care deeply—”

Penn tore at his hair. “Of course, I care deeply. I love your daughter—” His eyes flared, noticing his admittance. He waved it away as if it wasn’t the point. As if it didn’t matter. When it was the only thing that mattered.

His eyes met mine, but he spoke to my dad. “It’s because I love her that I’m doing this. I can’t stand by and be the reason for Elle’s future to be at stake.”

Dad crossed his arms. “That’s a noble reason.” His gaze turned calm, assessing Penn in a way he hadn’t. Seeing him like I saw him—past the angry features and stuck-up confidence. Finally noticing the man who protected everyone he cared about by keeping them as far away from him as possible.

He was noble.

He was stupid.

He was so selfless, he was willing to cut out his heart and walk away as some misguided attempt to save me.

Couldn’t he see I couldn’t care less about reporters or phony tales?

Couldn’t he understand I didn’t want Belle Elle anymore if I couldn’t have him?

Penn might not understand, but Dad did.

He shook his head, pinning his gaze on Penn, finally believing in the affection between us—recognizing its truth.

Not that it would help me win this fight with this stubborn ass determined on destroying me, all in the name of honor.

Screw honor!

“Penn...we’ll fight this together. Just like we fought your sentence.”

His body flinched with grief. “You’ve already done too much for me, Elle. I can’t ask for anymore.”

“Penn, perhaps you should sit down. Let’s talk about this—” Dad pointed at the couch, his shoulders falling the longer he witnessed the life-splintering argument. “I’m sure we can work this out.”

I waved my arms. “There, you see? Even Dad, who is adamant about protecting Belle Elle from controversy, is willing to discuss—”

“Just because he doesn’t want to see you hurting doesn’t mean he agrees that it’s the right choice.” Penn shook his head, his eyes black with agony. “I’ve already caused you more stress than you should ever have to live through. Don’t ask me to make you live through more.”

“I’m not asking you. I’m telling you.” I stormed forward, desperate to touch him. “You don’t have the right to walk away when I want you to stay, Penn. Don’t punish me for loving you.”

His jaw locked. He swallowed hard. He looked over my head. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Anymore? We’ve been together one night!”

“And you were alone for five months to earn that one night. That’s not a life you deserve, Elle.” He suddenly exploded. “I’ve already taken far too much from you.”

“No, you haven’t.”

He snorted. “Haven’t I? What about the countless nights I gave you? The constant worry? The deliberating stress? I’ve cost you so much, and I refuse to take anymore.”

“I paid that willingly. You’re free. That’s all in the past.”

“Until the next fuck up.”

Dad cleared his throat. “How about we all take a breather? It might be as simple as keeping your relationship quiet for now—until this all blows over.”

Penn laughed coldly. “You know as well as I do that that won’t happen. This is what has to happen. It’s for the best.”

“No!” My temper overflowed, but I battled it down. “Look, let’s be rational. Did you forget everything we promised last night? All the love we shared?”