This Is Falling(31)

“My parents have box seats, so we’ll be in a suite,” I say, standing from her bed and leaning against her desk. She relaxes at that news, and I’m glad it helps.

“What time?”

“We’ll walk over around six. Does that work?” I say, checking my watch, which says three thirty.

“Ugh, I guess that’ll do. But you have to go now. I mean, if I’m meeting parents, I need time to make myself all glittery and shiny,” she smirks.

“Oh, and make sure you put a lot of shit in your hair so it’s all crunchy and tangled,” I laugh. Cass and Ty just stare at us like we’re insane, but we don’t break our character and hold in our laughs. This is one of those jokes just between us—something that’s ours. And I’ll take it, however small and insignificant it may be.

Rowe walks me to the door, and I keep my hands in my pockets, not able to look her directly in the eyes, because every time I do, I feel like I should be kissing her. But she’s made it clear that I can’t—at least not today. I’m pretty sure I’ll keep trying though.





Rowe





“I blame you,” I say to Cass, who is sitting on the edge of Paige’s bed, directing me into the closet to try on a few of her outfits.

“Blame me for what? No, I hate that one. Go try the blue one,” she says, shoving an orange sundress in my arms, and turning me back to face the closet.

“For this. For me having to go to a football game and meet parents.” I can hear her laughing behind the door. Every dress I try on looks like I’m trying too hard. And nothing covers me quite enough.

“This one looks ridiculous,” I say, as I open the door. Cass studies me for a minute, and then nods in agreement.

“Something’s not right. Why don’t you just wear jeans and a shirt, like you always do?” I know she doesn’t mean for that to sound the way it does, but what she says sort of gets my own point across. Jeans…like I always wear. I’m so tired of it all. Tired of wearing the same clothes that have been in my closet since I was a sophomore. Time stood still the day that gunman came into everyone’s life, and my clock never started ticking again.

Letting my shoulders frump to my sides, I sigh, and slouch down on the bed next to Cass. “I’m not good at this,” I say.

“What do you mean? Paige would kill to be the one to get Nate’s attention,” she says, just as Paige walks in, and my gut twists wondering what she heard and what she’s going to say.

“Paige would kill for what? For you two chickadees to get your asses off my bed?” I stand immediately, smoothing out the wrinkle left behind on her bedspread. But Cass lies down, spreading her arms to the side, wallowing. She actually wallows.

“Your bed is always so much more comfortable than mine,” she says, rolling to one side and smelling Paige’s comforter. “And your sheets are softer. What the hell?”

“Mom and Dad like me better,” Paige says, sticking her tongue out. Normally, I would think someone was kidding when they did that, but for some reason when Paige does it, she seems serious.

“Sure they do,” Cass says, rolling her eyes while she lifts herself back to sitting. She keeps her eyes on her sister, watching her touch-up her makeup, until finally Paige can’t stand her attention any longer.

“What?” she says, twisting to face her sister with her hands on her hips.

“Rowe, I’m afraid we’re going to need her help,” Cass says, looking at me. Oh god no!

“My help with what?” Paige asks, turning her attention back to her own reflection.

“First, you have to promise me you’re not going to get pissed,” Cass says, and I feel like I’m watching the world’s most cautious tennis match. And I’m the ball.

Paige puts the lid back on her lip-gloss and slides her lips together, puckering closely to the mirror while her eyes move to look at Cass in the reflection. “Pretty sure I can’t promise that. Just a hunch,” she says, holding her sister’s gaze and gripping the edge of the sink.

“Nate invited Rowe to come to the game with me and Ty tonight…to meet their parents. She doesn’t have anything nice to wear, and I’m not good at makeovers, so we’ve pretty much just been flailing in our attempts for the last two hours, and we have to leave in like thirty minutes,” Cass says, letting out an exhausted sigh when she’s done.

Paige doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t even blink. But her eyes slowly move from Cass to me in the mirror. I let her study me, lifting my shoulders into a tiny shrug and sucking my top lip in against my teeth. Paige and I are worlds apart, and I can’t say I’ve warmed to her. But I wasn’t trying to win some contest over Nate. I can’t even truly be with him.

The longer she looks at me, the more uncomfortable I get, and I keep waiting for Cass to break the silence. But she doesn’t. Finally, after seconds that felt like minutes, Paige pushes back from the sink and spins around.

“Stand up,” she says, her chin in her hand. “Jewel tones. You’re definitely jewel tones.”

She spins around, and starts thumbing through the overstuffed hangers on her side of the closet. I look at Cass when she does and mouth “Jewel tones?” Cass just shrugs and nods toward Paige, telling me to pay attention. “She’s good at this,” she whispers.