Third Debt (Indebted #4)(75)

If I couldn’t survive this, how would I survive the other two?

Another moan echoed in my chest. This couldn’t happen. It was the worst nightmare imaginable. Three men. Three rapes.

And Jethro. Where the hell was he? Why wasn’t he here to oversee what his family would do? What would he claim once everything had been taken from me?

My heart?

He lost that the moment he made me consent to this god-awful condemnation.

Kes kissed my cheek, pushing me so I fell onto the bed. The mattress sprung beneath me, cushioned and fresh. I winced as I bounced against my tied wrists.

“I’m going to place you in the centre.” His strong arms caught me, manhandling me until I was where he wanted. His every touch caused my skin to crawl. My stomach rolled as I kept my legs pinned together.

I lay in the middle of the mattress like a corpse riddled with rigor mortis.

Kissing my shoulder, Kes climbed beside me. The heat of his naked thigh brushed mine; something heavy and hard nudged my hip.

Oh, God!

“I’m going to place you on your stomach.” His voice was soothing; his words were definitely not.

I bucked as he tried to flip me over. “No! I can’t—not that!”

He stroked my side, his fingers way too close to my breast. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Just roll over for me.” He pressed me harder.

“No!”

He wants to steal your anal virginity.

Horror possessed me. I kicked and wriggled. I was no longer an atrophied skeleton but a furious unwilling victim. My hands remained tethered behind my back, but it didn’t stop me from doing my damnedest to hurt him. “Don’t! Don’t touch me!”

“Shush.” He placed a harsh kiss on my shoulder blade. “Obey me. Do what I say, Nila. I’ll make it feel good, I promise.”

“I’ll never obey you. Never!” I fumbled with the sheets, wishing I could see. I wanted to bite him, knee him in the balls.

“Goddammit.” Grabbing my hip, he flipped me over with a burst of power.

I cried out as he jerked the pillow away from my mouth, pressing my cheek against the mattress. My breasts flattened and tears spurted from my eyes. “How can you do this to me?” My mind filled with his kindness teaching me how to tend to Moth. How could he be two totally different people?

“No more questions. Alright?” His voice was short with frustration. “Just—for once—let a man f*cking control you.”

That was the last straw.

“What did you just say?” I arched off the bed. “Let a man control me?” Hysteria took hold. “I’ve been controlled all my life by every man I’ve ever met! How dare you say that? How dare you!” I couldn’t stop tears cascading down my face, drenching the bed below.

Kes grunted as I squirmed harder.

I couldn’t move beneath his weight. His heat warmed me like an unwanted sun. I hated him.

Fisting my hair, he pressed my face into the bed. “Listen to me and pay attention. Behave. Don’t fight me. Don’t make Cut believe I can’t control you or it’ll encourage him to f*cking participate. Don’t make this worse for yourself.” Letting me breathe, he hissed, “Don’t believe in the evil of everyone you meet. You'd be surprised just how wrong you’d be.”

I froze.

Silence reigned while we both breathed hard.

Slowly, his grip on my hair loosened. “Now…will you be more reasonable?”

I laughed coldly, sucking in cotton from the sheets. “Reasonable? You’re asking the trussed-up girl if she’ll be more reasonable? You’re as insane as your damn brother.”

Turned out madness ran in the entire family tree. They all had to die.

“I’ll let that slide.” His fingers dug into my side. “But I need you to listen to me. Okay?”

Every instinct boycotted the idea but what he said before echoed in my ears. Don’t believe in the evil of everyone.

Could the man who taught me to ride still save me? Could I trust him enough to wait and see? Did I have the strength to hope?

Do I have a choice?

Haltingly, I relaxed.

The instant he felt me give in, he let me go. “Good girl.”

I hated that phrase.

All I could do was take whatever he gave and hope I survived.

I have no other option.

This wasn’t a physical debt—although parts of it would hurt and no doubt destroy me for life—it was more mental. The stripping of everything that made me female—of any right over my own body.

Rustling sounded as Kestrel grabbed the bedding and placed it over me. The warm comfort of cotton covered my nakedness.

He’s drawn the covers.

Why?

Kes’s naked body moulded along my side, his hand resting on the swell of my arse. My skin smarted with revolting dislike. “I’ve covered us. No one will see what we do. It will be our little secret.”

I frowned. Secret? Why would it be a secret? He was doing what he’d been told. The bed dipped a bit as he wrapped his arm around my waist, rolling me from my stomach to side.

I flinched as his warmth nestled behind mine in a loving embrace. His hand stayed on my belly. I was achingly aware of how close his fingers were to my pubic bone.

Questions formed: What will you do to me? How long am I yours before you hand me over? But I couldn’t voice them. I couldn’t ask, because I couldn’t stomach the replies.